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Playing with old chips and fag butts in a field full of social retards were:

Sean Adams (Sean)
Oliver Appleby (Ollie)
Gareth Dobson (GD)
Andrew Future (AF)
Mathew Hocking (Mat)
Sara Lovejoy (Sara)
Edward Mellett (Ed)
Katherine Price (KP)
Raziq Rauf (RaZ)
Ollie Russian (Russian)
Joanne Sutton (JS)
Georgina Terry (GT)
Peter White (PW)
Genevieve Williams (Gen)

FRIDAY 22nd AUGUST at THE READING FESTIVAL
SATURDAY 23rd AUGUST at THE LEEDS FESTIVAL

INME:
What a gay way to open the weekend - RaZ
What a gay way to open the second day! And didn't we all feel sorry for that guy wandering around who was wearing the same (H&M bought) top as Dave? Nightmare... - KP
What does the gay fan say to the gay band? ‘Come InMe’. That’s right. AF
Gay. - Gen
BOWLING FOR SOUP:
Just when you thought it was safe to buy your lunch... Sean
That new single of theirs rocks. The only with the Bon Jovi quip. AF
FINCH:
His voice just couldn't cut it live on the big stage - RaZ
LESS THAN JAKE:
Ska-spunk-superstars. The mosh-pits went round the mixing desk at Leeds last year. Better than most of today’s bill - AF
Not quite as crazy as last year, but these guys are still legends... and I don't even like Ska! - KP
THE DATSUNS:
Do exactly what they say on the tin. GT
Not exactly The Darkness are they? The novelty torch has been passed, you can go back to sheep buggering now. AF
STAIND:
Congratulations to everyone who successfully avoided this constipated fellow, moaning about his obese yankie girlfriend. - Sean
Indeed. How would you have sex with this guy? He’s so fat, you’d have to contort yourself and do it on the side. Yihhhcch. AF
THE DARKNESS:
2003 was their year. 2004 will be their year. Of course they were awesome. We were the first to believe in a thing called love and will be the last. At least they showed their appreciation with impressive use of DiS lighters. PW
Officially the band of Leeds 2003. The Darkness were virtually inescapable all weekend apart from during their set, when they were impossible to get anywhere near... And Justin drinks Smirnoff ice. - KP
They're good. And legendary in their own rights. But is anyone else confused why SO MANY people there were into it, who otherwise wouldn't if there wasn't so much hype surrounding them? - Mat
What a great hype job for a band with 2 songs. Just imagine if they were in fact Whitesnake and most of these kids would be throwing bottles. - Sean
A mildly muted performance with bad sound. But still a triumph for one band and a headline crowd. They will talk about it for years. Will The Darkness last as long?GD
Hooray! Ace, ace ACE! Disappointing costumes however, c’mon JH, black and white jump suits are soo two months ago. I think I love the guy with the handle bar moustache…mm…hairy…GT
A headline capacity crowd at six in the evening. Such a sight hasn't been seen since RATM obliterated Reading in 2000. Justin's catsuit alone made them the band of the weekend. As did the spectacle of a small child atop a parent's shoulders, both singing along to 'Get Your Hands Off My Woman Motherfucker'. - Gen
Wako and smell the successful pop-cult band. The Darkness ruled, how they ruled. Fuckers. No one was saying all this when they were first on at Glasto or mid-afternoon at Download.. It ain’t like they’re playing a different set. Bandwagon jumping whores. Three fucking great single songs though, eh?! AF
It will have been hard to be at Reading this year without the Darkness touching you in, ahem, some way. From the frequent plays of their singles between bands in the tents to this, their crowning achievement. The singles went off like a pair of spandex trousers made of RDX and between-song banter letting the crowd know that it's far more enjoyable if you don't even think of taking the ting seriously, just sit back and enjoy the ride. Ollie
PLACEBO:
Constipate and conjugate and verb and garden gate, run away, run away, back to their mid-nineties heyday. AF
Were always gonna win the nostalgia trip of the weekend. - Sean
I used to fancy Brian Molko. Strangely I still do. Liked the Pixies cover and their whole set was as musically tight as ever. Yum. Sara
BLINK 182:
You'd think with such simple songs it'd be impossible for Blink to sound anything other than perfect live. You'd be wrong, they were messy, out of tune and the songs were almost unrecognisable. 2 Brownie points for the nice glittery ending and sparkly fireworks though. - KP
I coulda sworn they played about 25 times this weekend. - Sean
LINKIN PARK:
What a gay way to end the day - RaZ
That rhymes, and sounds like something my Nan would say - Mat
Man, it's so clever how they changed Lincoln to Linkin. Man, they suck. - Sean
One thing. I don’t know why. It doesn’t even matter how hard you try. You’ll be still be crap, you’ll still be shite, but let’s not make all the Stinkin Fart fans cry. It was funny when he held the mic out for people to sing and barely anyone did. Woulda been good if he’d vomited on them though. AF
Scream *vomit* rap *vomit* big riff *vomit*. Pleasingly bullshit, even though you have to admit that occasionally, they do have some tunes. Still doesn’t stop them from being utter, utter bell ends.GD
Only bands like Good Charlotte have legitimised this type of 'rock'. Ed
Surprisingly ace. Ooh dear, Chester didn’t look too well though did he? Poor love. My friend’s cat had a hernia once. Don’t think it was caused by singing though - GT

SATURDAY 23rd AUGUST at THE READING FESTIVAL
SUNDAY 24th AUGUST at THE LEEDS FESTIVAL

THE SLEEPY JACKSON:
My favourite discovery of the weekend. A bit country, a bit rock, a Toploader style haircut and a few pretty interludes to glue it all together. Lovely. - KP
*yawn* - Sean
Harmonies, sunshine and pop soul. Sweetness, man. AF
CAVE IN:
Oh they were so much better than any time I've ever seen them and they played an old song. GOLD STAR!! RaZ
Fake contrived rock bullshit. - Sean
What A4 is to the paper industry. Ed
Gah! Curses to that lovely little pub with it's nice quiet beer garden and nice cheap-ish pints - Mat
Cave-In? More like 'Bore-In'. Someone tell me what all the fuss is about... EF
Aceness! The jump from the old stuff to the new never seemed so poignant until seeing all the confused faces as they rip-roared through a couple of old classics. I got BURNT during Cave In and I have the t-shirt lines to prove it! - KP
JUNIOR SENIOR: And there was me thinking they were just a camp disco band. The only band who made me dance, all weekend. - Sean
Lacklustre. Junior is wearing a nice jumper though. Ooh look, there’s Har Mar Superstar dancing in a towel at the side of the stage. GT
You didn't dance you lying bugger, you were above dancing. I on the other hand fell in love with Junior and wiggled a little along to the funky beat. Sara
It’s like girls innit. The thin ugly one always hangs out with the fat ugly one to try and make herself look better. Like the thin one, in the context of their surroudnings, JS are average, but that’s not saying anything. AF
THE LIBERTINES:
People in the crowd are complaining about Pete not being with them. I personally don't care, who needs fucking junkies. I'm still not sure on the Libertines and this performance does little to win me over. The singles sound OK, nice tunes, but why do the rest of their songs sound like poor imitations? The sound is dreadful, guitars mushed up and Carl's vocals are barely audible (although saying that he doesn't seem to have the greatest voice in the world). They've got a long way to go before they convince me and sticking them on the main stage as a result of some ill-advised hype was never going to help them.... Maybe I'm being too harsh though, the remaining band members have been through a lot and playing without one of your main singers and songwriters must be difficult... Nah, fuck it, they are shit. Russian
“Don’t look back in to the sun”…too late! Consider starting a chant of “We want Pete!” but then realise I don’t give a toss either way, so don’t. GT
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Sara
Put your hands up if you’ve ever bought a Libertines record! Anyone? AF
THE STREETS:
The Streets were boring and the Craig David wannabe they had onstage couldn't even sing in tune. I was not amused. - KP
Disappointment of the weekend? Mat
Shame he lost his voice and wasn't headlining the Radio 1 tent or something that would've worked like that. Why do promoters suck so much? - Sean
OI! OI! OI! OI! *snore*.GD
Wasn't the rapper dude Bradley outta S Club 7? Sara
Dammit, I missed them due to watching Gold Chains or something and Mike having a bad throat or something, I guess I didnt' miss much but still... Ollie
Down another pint of Carling. BUDDA-BUDDA BING, one for the lads like. AF
DOVES:
After the magic at Glasto, a dusty hot afternoon here was never gonna yield the same kind of beauty, but still, Doves are in a class of their own. AF
I thought I would like this lot due to the fact that they have soaring vocals and a slightly maudlin outlook, but sadly I was so bored I went shopping. Bought a nice skirt. Ate some sweets. Yawn. Sara
BECK:
I LOVE BECK. Beck was the best thing I saw all weekend. Possibly all year. Maybe in my whole life. I waited for this moment for a loooong time and I loved it so much I nearly cried. - KP
See, now this is what festivals are all about. A living legend, sing-along anthems, girls on their boyfriends' shoulders and oodles of genius. - Sean
My own little surprise of the weekend - Beck me, it was good - Mat
Beck plays the best cover of Reading, bar none; a monstrous hybrid of Beyonce, Nelly, Justin Timberlake and Tatu. But how can you screw up ‘Loser’? How? GT
Along with Elbow, best act of the Festival. Little Beck Hansen is back in SexBeck mode after last year’s (equally great) mopefest gigs and album. So in an eclectic hour, we get the wonders of ‘Where It’s At’, ‘Loser’ and ‘Sex Laws’ as well as the me-my-soul-and-ma-guitar material of recentness. It's all good, all of it. The man is a miniature genius and he has gone and reignited my fire again. Long live the king.GD

BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB:
Out of their depth up there at the top of the bill, and equally out of tunes. Though they did do this nice, floaty new one which allowed me to ignore them for a couple of minutes while I attempted to skin up. Depressingly mediocre. SO NOT COOL. GD
Now I know why so many people take drugs, cos there are bands this dull in the world. Sara
Managed to send a bunch of stoners to sleep. Impressive. PW
Better than the White Stripes could have hoped to be. Dirty motorcycle open-car loving rock and roll. Ed
They were stalking me all weekend, well, one of them was, I think. He stood next to me at one point anyway, well walked past me, fast... Look, I was watching something else when they were on, or asleep in the Radio 1 tent. He did walk past me at one point tho, honest. Ollie
BLUR:
Quite possibly the most depressingly boring 40 minutes spent watching a band in my whole life (with the exception of 'Song 2'). What did they do with the TUNES?! - KP
Bring out the dead wood. It's a shame when bands pass their prime and have to go through the motions to pay the rent. Had they not played a couple of years ago, at least this would've been special. - Sean
Phil Daniels rules. Full stop. JS
Yeah! Paul Daniels is Da Bomb! Raz
Arrogance is one thing, but when you headline a festival and play (badly) the dreary, slow songs of an album that the majority do not have, you’re just a twat. It was just like Spain. A hit and miss set full of turgid shite like ‘On The Way To The Club’ and ‘Trim Trabb’. Some of the old stuff was class, but Tong is shown up for not being Coxon when they try and do ‘Song 2’, and he didn’t even play on Parklife. Long live Phil Daniels though. Where was Debbie McGee? AF
Like a family member, the more time you spend in the company of Damon Albarn, the less time you can stand being in his company. Tonight Blur are lumpen and boring, with none of the passion or frenetic energy that used to see them as a rather fantastic band. A 35 year old man in a suit jumping up and down to ‘Popscene’ does not make a good sight. However, Damo falling off the stage does. Arf. GD
Oopsy Daisy Damon, hope your knees are okay. Consider starting a chant of ‘We want Graham!” but fear this would reveal my vast age, so don’t. Enjoy all the songs from the first 4 albums, and feel slightly bemused by the rest. Realise this is the polar opposite of almost everyone else down the front. Sigh. Drink beer. Cheer up. GT
Gah, Blur have gone all grown up and are starting to possess, god forbid, a bit of class. How depressing. Without Graham they don't have the geek-factor that I loved them for. The only thing that provoked any emotion in me was the pretty stage lighting.EF
At least my buddies realised getting battered was more of a pressing issue by this point. PW

SUNDAY 24th AUGUST at THE READING FESTIVAL
FRIDAY 22nd AUGUST at THE LEEDS FESTIVAL

SUGARCULT:
OK, so they were fun at first. But can they leave us alone to grow up now - especially with Matchbox Romance on the horizon - Mat
BIFFY CLYRO:
They came on early but played a beautiful storm - RaZ
Looked and sounded a bit out of place on the main stage, but they rocked all the same - Mat
Damn them for going on early. And damn the magic of the moment making me want to cry. Biffy! Biffy! Biffy! - Sean
Why aren't they headlining the Radio One stage yet?! There is no justice. Ed
WHAT A GAY WAY TO START THE DAY - AF
Biffy was beautiful. Just beautiful. PW
THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS:
Here’s a shock; they only have one tune. Imagine that.GD
Pikey moms singing 'Swing, Swing'. Nice. PW
THE USED:
Take the word 'fuck' out of their vocab and they had fuck all to say - RaZ
Haha - they tried getting the crowd to shout 'Fuck you! Fuck You!' oblivious to the large section who were shouting it anyway. Apart from that, bored to death. Same old, same old... - Mat
They parted the crowd into the Cowboys and the Indians. Then everyone ran at each other on the count of three. Carnage. They told us to bottle each other. Carnage. The reason why? ..they worship Satan. Ed
Best non-headliner of the weekend (Dando/'Tallica etc.) Played cowboys and indians. Made mischevious remarks. Sang happy fucking birthday to the lead fucking singer of motherfucking Metallica James fucking Hetfield. Sorted. 'Taste Of Ink' was the sober pop song of the day. PW
The singer shagged Kelly Osbourne. Nuff said. AF
GOOD CHARLOTTE:
Will they sue me if I ask them to fuck off? RaZ
Fuck Off! ...and they did ya know. Ed
Full of empty cliches ("You are the best crowd we've played to"; "This is the greatest day of my life") and dodging bottles left right and centre, maybe we've given them too many hints already. Where's the gun? - Mat
Which member of Good Charlotte got his ass kicked by Winnebago Deal? PW
PRIMAL SCREAM:
This band clearly needs the nighttime to become truly incredible, cos in the sunshine they were shit - RaZ
At Leeds it was a bit cloudy and they were BRILLIANT. I have renewed faith! KP
I feel that ALL northern bands are rubbish. This was no exception. Ed
How incongruous, Primal Scream in the daytime. Raise a (paper) glass in memory of indie discos past. GT
Fuck off Gillespie. Even three years ago, you and your band were threateningly, crushingly cool. Now however, you just seem to be standing on stage concentrating on not wetting yourself, and occasionally throwing some inept psuedo-anti-everything comments at the crowd. And you’re all too old. End it now.GD
I saw them here like 3 years ago in the dark, this will in no way have been better, I avoided it so as not to tarnish the memory of that perfect night, when I think of them playing the main stage I think of that, nothing else. Ollie
What twat scheduled them between Charlotte and Sum 41? A bit ropey, but better than normal. They had a fight on their hands for once. AF
SUM 41:
Not a single DiS writer frequented the Main Stage at the time of Dumb 41's set. Tells a story in itself.
SYSTEM OF A DOWN:
They just didn't seem hungry and so bored me. I sat down - RaZ
At Leeds System of A Down went OFF. Despite a slightly over enthusiastic moshpit causing troubles to begin with, every single person in the crowd seemed to be singing along, jumping around and having a great time. Best crowd atmosphere for a band all weekend. - KP
Last year I moshed ten rows from the front barrier. This year I sat drinking Carling from the beer tent. Did Nu-metal die or is it just my age? Ed
Serj was giving the best performance ever, and Daron was ultra insane! But it all seemed marred when a girl in front of me was pelted with a full bottle and was led away with blood streaming from her eye - Mat
METALLICA:
This is how to end a fucking festival. People cried. Say no more - RaZ
Maybe it was the fact I knew they would NEVER beat their performance at Download, but after an hour I'd had enough. Nothing spectacular in my opinion. I must be getting old - Mat
Saw them in a tent earlier in the year, so I selflessly gave my space to someone else. People enjoyed it though, so good on em. AF
DO sign of the best - DO fists in the air - DO metal air guitar - MOSH with neighbour - PRAISE Metallica. GO get fucked - its the END of the festival but the carnage has just begun... Ed
“Enter Light, Exit Light, Take My Hand, We’re off to never-never land” All you need to know GT
Hey, do you know the noise a dinosaur makes when put in a concrete mixer? Come on, i'm sure you've heard a Metallica record before... My last txt msg of the weekend read thus: "I'm backstage, Metallica Suck, I'm ready to go" Ollie
'Seek & Destroy'. 'Enter Sandman'. 'Fuel'. 'Nothing Else Matters'. Not Even seeing them in a tent before. 'Tallica are still the way to break a thousand hearts and burn Reading down. PW

(Photo by Sean Hopson)