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'How To Find Out You've Been Dropped', by Toploader
shadyadie by [redacted] January 9th, 2003
Former Sony Records MOR popsters TOPLOADER only found out they'd lost their record contract after they read it in a tabloid paper, a source close to the band informs DiS.

The band were on a UK tour which had been going badly. Their crew decided to have a read of 'The Sun', only to be confronted with the headline "Toploader Offloaded".

The upset roadie types asked the band what the heck was going on. Needless to say, poor wee Toploader were the last to know they no longer had a record company to release their shiny CDs.

Upon asking their manager if it was true, she told the band, "oh yes... I was going to let you know after the tour was over."

They then spent the soundcheck holding up their guitars, asking "who'll give us a tenner for this?". Aww.

When asked if the band would stick together, our source (who shall remain unnamed for professional reasons) said "well you'd bloody well hope not, wouldn't you?"

Jamie Oliver will be gutted.

Toploader's one-and-only album has sold over 1m copies. Their last single bombed.



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