Hey you! Pop haterz! Get lost!
Kimberly Walsh of top pop totty (can we say 'totty' here? Yeah? Okay...) Girls Aloud has claimed that band mate Nicola Roberts is obsessed with her behind. As in her arse. Hence the headline.
"Nicola's obsessed with my booty. She's always feeling it, trying to make it wobble," said Walsh, as young men across the country went all, y'know, rude.
"I tense it up, going: 'It's rock hard, honest!'. (Butt) I don't mind owning up to having a booty. I love it."
See what we did there? (Awards self a trip to the corner shop for chocolate and perhaps even a can of sugar-free Dr Pepper...)