She's in rehab, she's out, she gets a house for her birthday, she's in rehab, her dad flashes his arse and her mum's all moist for some talent-show c*nt... welcome, ladies and gents, to the latest Kelly Osbourne news.

At 21 years of age, trout-faced Kelly has told the nation's favourite rag The Sun that she no longer needs to work. This comes only some months after she told some people that pretended to be interested (hi, that was us) that she intended to 'go dance'. Uh huh, wha'ever.

"I don't intend to do anything. I've been working since I was 15 - what do I want to work for?" she told the aforementioned builders' favourite. This, of course, comes days after she got a £1m London pad for her birthday.

That dance-direction record, Sleeping In The Nothing, is currently available here for a bargain £16.99. No wonder the girl doesn't need to work. Well, that'd be reason enough if said record hadn't shifted only eight or so copies. To idiots. Idiots with no ears. And too much money.

Kelly, since you're not into earning money these days, how about you come write a column for us? You can be like that girl that dates Wayne Rooney, only you'll be able to write about sexy emos, the latest branded wristbands and we won't pay you a penny. Sound good? Good, see you Monday morning at 9.30 sharp...