Coldplay like living with their grandmother

Well, it was either that headline up there or Coldplay won’t be ‘doing a Radiohead’. Which as well as being slightly tiresome in itself has already kind’ve been used, so we have this, news that Coldplay won’t be ditching EMI disguised as a semi-humourous jibe. Stirring stuff.

Anyway – whilst Chris Martin respects the renegade capitalism of In Rainbows and Consolers of the Lonely, he won’t be dipping his toe in the hot jam just yet.

"Being on a major label at the moment is like living in your grandparents' house," Martin mused in an extensive interview with Reuters. "Everyone knows they need to move out, and they will eventually, but we kind of like our grandmother.

Whether or not Nana Martin enjoys comparisons to an ailing corporation run by Jerry Springer’s flabby body-double is really beside the point: when Guy Hands says that “right across the world, [Vida la Vida…] is the most anticipated album of the year" he’s probably not too far wrong.

There’s a lot riding on the new Coldplay album and both parties know it – whether or not they’ll be able to prop each other up in clued-up, internetted times remains to be seen, but Martin’s content to let this one play out as is.

"It's obviously an antiquated model, because of the Internet, but we really love the people we work with.

“If we knew what the solution was to everything, then we'd do it. We have absolute respect for the Radioheads and Raconteurs and people who can do what they like. We're in contract though, so we're just going to make the most of it and enjoy the people we get to work with."

Sweet, in a way, which makes it all the more unfortunate for all concerned that the single was a load of dreary toss.