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Is this news? Steve Jones "w*nks with two hands"

It has been brought to DrownedinSound.com's attention that Steve Jones, presenter of Channel 4's Transmission with T-Mobile show, wanks with two hands.

The confession came as Steve and namesake Kelly Jones of Stereophonics chatted during the show's regular sketch, 'Parallel Pricks'.

What follows is a transcript from this week's Transmission..., which airs on Channel 4 tonight at 11.35pm. The pair were ambling through a discussion of a recent nightclub scuffle Jones, K. got himself into; leaving the gruffler with a massive 'gash' - cue mirth - on his arm when grunts aligned in frequency and the magic happened.

Kelly Jones: Left hand's coming in very strong.
Steve Jones: Yeah? Strong wrists.
(laughter)
KJ: The strength is building up.
SJ: I normally wank with two hands.
(laughter)
KJ: Do you?
SJ: Yeah.
KJ: At the same time?
SJ: It's a big job.
KJ: I tried to do it with the bandage on to make it feel like it was somebody else's hand but it was a bit slow.
(laughter)
SJ: Do you promise to come back and play the show?
KJ: Yeah well, I'd love to, yeah, definitely.
SJ: Stick around 'cause I'll treat you to some bevvies later, coz you need cheering up.
KJ: I will.
SJ: Kelly Jones everyone.

Friday, byeday...

ban request

this site.

this....site.

OH THIS ISN'T NEEWWWS!

DiS THIS ISN'T SERIUSSS [CRIES] CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NEWSED THIS WAAAH WAAAAAAH TEARSTEARSTEARS

Wait... You can do it with TWO hands?!

This IS news!

Ok, I'll say it...

Pkx plz.

bf

I suspect a case of double Beadle hand

Wankers!

slow news day?

surely

the time when he basically admitted to having sex with animals was more news worthy than this? If you reported it I take my comment back.

wow. just wow.

*slow clap*

See,

this is funny because its really boring, and not at all news. That's the funny thing about it - the fact he had nothing better to do, so he typed this up.

Fantastic. I just love DiS. I want to grow up to be JUST like it.

Bash the Bishop

Steve Jones, what a wanker!

That new Stereophonics song is dull toss by the way.

You disappoint me

I'll bet he's doing it on the photo and all.

Keeping his hands out of view.

i thought

steve jones was babybird? or was that stephen jones? anyway, you're gorgeous

LOL

you're so fucking irreverent these days DiS...........yawn.

^LOL^

you're sooo fucking ironic these days feedmetotheforest...........yawn.

my faith in music media was low before i read this.

i'm off to pitchfork, niggas.

parallel pricks?

they got that right!!

If this appeared on NME.com

there would be a thread called "NME - WTF! A new low" or something similar, with 50+ replies by the hour mark

two hands...?

one for the microscope, one for the tweezers...

or

one for between his legs, one for on his head...

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