50 incensed: rapper fuming at single leak

Rapper-cum-actor (but, really, who does he think he's kidding?) 50 Cent is furious that his new single, 'Follow My Lead', has leaked online. What year does he think it is?

The song - and its video - are currently doing the virtual rounds. If you can be bothered to look, you will find. Currently without a confirmed release date, the track is expected to follow 50 Cent's collaborative project with Justin Timberlake, AYO Technology. Nope, us neither.

Fiddy - real name Curtis Jackson - apparently tore a plasma TV from the wall when he discovered the leak. Silly man - those things cost money, and you sure as shit ain't gonna get rich by taking them for granted. He then turned the air blue at his label by shouting words that we're going to collectively summarise as 'naughty' down the phone. He got shot, you know.

'Follow My Lead', the video, features a cameo from acclaimed actor Dustin Hoffman. He does not rap, just like Fiddy doesn't act. Get Rich Or Die Tryin' is on TV tonight, as it happens. It's dogshit. Which reminds me...