Popular comedy person and one-time druggie cunge Russell Brand - he has telly shows and everything - is to present 2007's coming to you live live LIVE Brit Awards on February 14.
Yes, that's Valentine's Day. Send me a card? Even a 'sorry your pet died' card will suffice.
The Brits will be broadcast live for the first time in fifteen years. Are they mental? Surely somebody will say a rude word or seven? Surely someone will get their arse out? Surely someone will win something they don't deserve? Surely Kanye West will claim that the awards have no credibility?
The awards will be shown on ITV1. The 1's important: idiots might tune in to ITV2 and get stuck with The Planet's Funnist Beastiality Busts when the batteries in their remote die. Actually, that'll probably be more entertaining. Anyway, co-chairman of the awards' organising committe, Peter Jamieson, said:
"We always promised that BRITs 2007 would be an edgy, exciting show. First we announced we'd broadcast live. Then we announced Oasis as our Outstanding Contribution Award winner. And now there's Russell Brand. The only place to be on Valentines Night is going to be with the BRITs."
Or on ITV2 enjoying a massive horse cock in full colour! Yeah! Nominations for the Brit Awards will be revealed on January 16. Expect Busted not to feature.