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The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

disnews by DiS News [Edit this content] ▾ 18 comments 11:54 April 18th, 2005
razorlight johnny leeds. sex pest. carrier.
Hello chart chaps, how are we all, in this brave new world where downloads are just as valid as things physically bought by getting off your arse and walking to the shops?

Yeah, I'm totally unmoved too.

However, this is the run down of notable entries in the ALL NEW REALLY EXCITING, HONEST, TOP 75...

Tony Christie is still no.1. Elvis is still in the top four, though he's behind R'n'Krunk queen Ciara who does '1,2 Step' to three. It's a high-end chart entry for Interpol with 'C'Mere' placing at no.19, and just outside that at no.22 is the new Gorillaz single, which we didn't even know was out, however, 'Feel Good Inc' is pretty good...

Daft Punk enter the charts at no.32 with the infectious (or downright annoying, depending on where you stand) 'Robot Rock', and Hal scrape into the top 40 with the Beach Boys when they were on crazy pills-esque 'Play The Hits'. Kings Of Leon just miss the '40 by one placing with 'King Of The Rodeo'. That'll teach you for line dancing...

Secret Machines enter at no.56, the 'Road Leads To Where It's Led' obviously leading to a quiet chart entry, whilst Your Codename Is: Milo is 48 places off its predicted '17'.

Pure Reason Revolution's 'The Bright Ambassadors Of The Morning' progs into no.68, but because of re-entries for Eminem, Athlete, Snoop Dogg and U2, there's no room for indie-released singles in this week's charts. Which is great. DiS might actually make this the last of this series of news stories, because frankly, it's all bollocks now, isn't it?

Perhaps next week we'll do the indie charts instead.

Oh yeah, Razorlight get their biggest ever hit at no.2, but frankly, we'd rather be 'Somewhere Else' as well...

Interpol Razorlight Kings of Leon Pure Reason Revolution
From the archive

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

Do the indie charts matter like they did in the 'old days' - I wish they did - I think its a good idea to solely concentrate on them from now on - though this would include every hit on Jive records!!!
prole-art-threat | 18 Apr '05, 11:57 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

so, given the fact people will download 'old' releases e.g. eminem, U2, athlete, the 'all new' top 40 isn't that 'new' is it?
what a load of bollocks.
amgibbons | 18 Apr '05, 11:58 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

I think it's disgraceful. I appreciate the argument that it's reflecting what people are actually buying, but it's going to completely kill off the indies in terms of charts, unless they start hammering people with multi-multi-multi format downloads and doing cheap tricks by offering different songs and versions. ie act like a Major.

It's all a load of bollocks. They've gone and proper f**ked it up now.
idiots.
xg
GarethD | 18 Apr '05, 12:04 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

If we do an indie chart, can we have Chart Show-style visuals?

"Yeah, um, this band don't have a video, so let's, y'know, film a lava lamp for a while, but tint it kinda blue/green... that'll fool those suckers. Hell yeah!"

Awesome.
Mike_Diver @GarethD | 18 Apr '05, 12:08 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions in

Awww Johnny.
Psyche | 18 Apr '05, 12:09 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

Sounds like a trail of dead video, with a bit of live footage in the background?
sean @Mike_Diver | 18 Apr '05, 12:19 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

Hell yeah, no expense spared.
Providing it's not, y'know, expensive.
Mike_Diver @sean | 18 Apr '05, 12:29 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

Although I sympathise with the indies' argument if all this is affecting them, does anyone else actually care about the singles chart anymore. They all time their releases for a week at number one each with the minimum number of copies sold, so they can promote the album. I love buying singles but the chart has been meaningless for years. For me the death knell was sounded when they passed that rule that disallowed singles from having more than 3 tracks because there was too much pressure on artists to write more songs. Aw- diddums, funny I seem to remember bands, who loved singles and thought that they were a valuable part of the scene, loved knocking out those four track EPs. It was only cash hungry major label pop acts with their extended version, edited version, clean version that struggled to find these songs. An industry that collectively decides that value for money for the consumer should be limited? Bastards to a man, one and all.
badvibes | 18 Apr '05, 12:34 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

The charts have constantly been manipulated by the major record industry. Ever since the invention of the 'old' indie chart, in order to 'give attention' to deserving lower selling indie labels, ie get them away from competing with 'the big boys'. Ive only ever seen these changes as helping the majors exclude the small guys, and this is just another ruse. It was ooooh, a matter of months before the majors had conived to dominate the indie chart too, with labels such as jive.

The whole point of the single chart is to create some interest in new acts, but this has long been lost in an attempt to sell low-class talent to the masses.

The current dilemma over low sales is much more to do with the total lack of diversity in the charts as a whole, and consequently whole swathes of the population have lost the will to live, musically.

Including 'legal' downloads is like saying 'we will decide what appears in our CHART', and so only confirms the age old appearance that all charts are 'fixed' [allegedly].

And hey, noone in the record industry wants any kind of freedom and diversity, look at Clear Channel as a very Clear example. Welcome to the rip off.
bosh | 18 Apr '05, 14:00 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

'and just outside that at no.22 is the new Gorillaz single, which we didn't even know was out, however, 'Feel Good Inc' is pretty good...'

this confused me too, but then i realised it's probably on itunes or anything. does this mean that singles now have two release dates? o_0

i really really like it though, the best thing albarn's set his name to in ages.
lightswitchsam | 18 Apr '05, 16:37 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

Please keep reporting on the top 75,you're the only site where we can find out about outside the top 40,right?let me know if there is another site that lists outside the top 40.
torrmoz | 18 Apr '05, 18:52 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

So, where were The Pipettes?
JohnDTraynor | 18 Apr '05, 19:06 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

No it wouldn't - Jive/Music For Nations/Zomba were all bought by BMG early last year.
guntrip @prole-art-threat | 19 Apr '05, 08:26 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

I concur with this post - NME.com no longer list the top 75s, the BBC website only lists the top 40..

Keep it coming, I say..
guntrip @torrmoz | 19 Apr '05, 08:28 | X | Reply

The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions in

Gorillaz released 300 physical copies in special edition to the stores - the rest were downloads - a clever way to spy up the loopholes in this new chart I think, don't know if it was intentional.

And what about free legal downloads? Does the public actually have to pay for their mp3 for it to be included?
Imagine if U2 for instance released a remix for free on itunes (it's possible) would it get a kazillion downloads and go straight to Number 1? Or would it be disqualified?
I mean, a lot of singles - especially in their first week - are loss leaders anyway so why not just give the tunes away and pick up automatic radio play and CD:UK appearances?
Do you even need a record label?

hmm, idle thoughts.

So who bought all the Razorlight singles then?
Anschul | 19 Apr '05, 09:33 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

yeah, but that's only because of their self-mythologising NME charts
badvibes @guntrip | 19 Apr '05, 15:36 | X | Reply

Re: The all-new useless charts: Pointless positions inside...

Full Top75 here :
http://uk.launch.yahoo.com/c/uk/single_charts.html
lyle @torrmoz | 19 Apr '05, 15:39 | X | Reply

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