It happens to the best of us. You wander into HMV, faced with aisle after aisle, row after row of CDs. Soon enough you find yourself in the 'G' section. Ah! How handy: you were looking for the latest Jets To Brazil album. So you stroll thirty metres to the right, impressing yourself with your estimation of how far one should walk to cover three letters' worth of sections. But what's this? Madness? Madonna? How could H to L have disappeared so quickly?
To many, I'm sure this is a far-too-familiar storyline. What the nation's youth really needs is a thorough, well planned guide to just how many band's names start with each letter. With my heavy conscience noting that I have done nothing previously to solve such major problems in this world, I took it upon myself to research, to seek the truth, to fuck some shit up along the way!
It wasn't easy, and the mission was certainly not without setbacks. But when the results came through, everything seemed worthwhile. What follows is my report, written in the hugely underrated style of a GCSE Science Coursework project. (How I miss them).
One of the methods I shall use will be to visit a website that deals in CD Covers. In search results, it shows figures for the amount that begin with any letter. One inaccuracy with this method, however, is that the figure given is in fact a figure for the total number of covers, not, crucially, the amount of bands. There is really not a lot I can do about that though. In fact, since the error is constant, I shall just chose to ignore it and use the figures regardless. Another source of errors could arise from the fact that there will be repeated listings for some CDs, due to slight differences in the spelling of their name. Again, however, the error applies to all my results so should minimise itself.
I predict, given my own personal experience, that the letter S will emerge on top of the pile. I do anticipate some close competition from T, especially given the current trend of definite-article monikers. At the bottom end, I imagine X, Q, V and such unfortunately-titled letters will do perform shamefully.
As I predicted, S pulled through the winner, over 700 points ahead of the surprise second placer B. Some shock results included the high place of V and the low positions for R and E. Perhaps one would have expected Q to finish below X, given Q's noticeable handicap of relying on U to follow it. The only possible explanation could be an innumerable amount of Queen CDs.
You may note how hard it is to make words from the top 5 letters. However, if we extend to the top 6, a number of wonderful words may be created. Highlights include: Bad, Sad, Mad, Bat, Tab, Tad, Mat and Stab.
Overall, I feel that my experiment was a success. I calculated a mere 4.3% experimental error. Which is nice. Obviously, improvements could have been made, but the extra effort would not justify any small increase in accuracy that would occur.
And there you have it, kids. I only hope that you really do take this information to heart. Maybe the decreased distance you will have to tread in HMV thanks to this knowledge will mean that the floors will have to be replaced less frequently. Maybe this will drive down the cost in CDs. We truly can make this world a better place.