“When I die I hope I’m missed and I hope you die like syphilis.”

Tit.

Holding hands with all the right boys, rolled out on Erol Alkan’s Phantasy Sound imprint and currently recording presumably more piles of this dancefloor drivel with Paul Epworth, Joe Flory – Primary 1 – knits Calvin Harris-lite in with an anaemic brand of funk schlock.

French beatnik Yusef adds a splash of fluro colouring to ‘Hold It Down’’s pale complexion on the remix, but, struggling to distance the fact that underneath you could pin down a bastard hybrid of Prince’s ‘Kiss’ and INXS’s ‘No Need Tonight’, with no video for young Flory’s debut foray we’d really rather divert your attentions to old Edwyn: