Welcome to U2 as interpreted by the Stereophonics. See, U2 did a really awesome song for a Batman soundtrack. And you know who's mates with Batman? Superman! See how this works? It's like all you need is a pair of bug-eyed sunglasses and a leather jacket and YOU TOO could be rockin' up VH2! Best to look heroin-skinny if you can. You know, like heat-shocked-by-your-skinniness-skinny. And don't shave. This isn't too-sad-to-shave; this is like, gristle. Okay? Good. Nice. Now sing all low like gravel and sort of drone a little. Excellent! Think hot pink neon on decaying black eyeliner. Well done. It would help if you can work a little sexual submissiveness into your lyrics -- no? Too deep? Okay, just do something really dull about having it off with a teenage blonde and cover "I Wanna Be Your Dog" as a B-side. Wanking guitar is also a plus. Put your Sleeper blokes in the background and somewhere, some girl is going to think you're sex on a stick and buy this otherwise completely uninteresting single.
1Cat Conway's Score