Recently self-proclaimed "real iron maiden" (oh, you know the story) and X-Factor judge-type android Sharon Osbourne has told someone, some where, that she used to do it in the dark with Ozzy, reports chartsingles.net.
Osbourne, also seen day in day out slapping her arse in Asda (the pizzas are ever such good value), said that having plastic surgery - a tummy tuck and a face lift - saved her sex life:
"I'd never want to make love with the light on. I'd roll myself not only in the sheet, but the duvet and the pillows. Ozzy would tell me I was daft."
Anyone for a nice cup of tea?