Is this news? It probably pays to step back from the slander and the tumult, the bluster and the bilge every once in a while to consider that question. Whatever the parameters they drew up for us at journalism school, those lines have, as everything else has, not so much shifted as been completely fucked with by the internet. There isn’t so much a line at all anymore, just an orbiting, sucking puddle of chatter. Still, it gives me license to litter this piece with dubious photographs of blood and breasts and Prince and Britney.
Or more accurately, you do. Here are the most read news stories published every month this year on Drowned in Sound.com.
1. Monstrous behaviour: bands cancelled in favour of Doherty
2. Rage Against California: rap-rockers to headline Coachella
3. Brandy involved in fatal car accident
4. Cos he doesn't look a thing like Jesus? Ghostface spurned by Killers
5. "Homosexual" 50 Cent can "suck my gun," says gay rapper
1. Brian May in DiS-hating shocker!
2. Arcade Fire: "F*ck all those bands who've got no ambition"
3. "Can anybody find meee...somebody to love?" No-one making Mika squeal this Valentines...
4. "Tim Westwood f*cks little girls": Plan B tears into DJ
5. Stop the clocks: Liam Gallagher to appear on Countdown
1. Britney Spears attempted suicide, tabloid claims
2. Lily Allen slags off America
3. NME Awards: winners in full
4. 'art-break Hotel: The Horrors destroy porcelain Elvis
5. Internet porn: a lot like scoring drugs, says Anthony Kiedis
1. MTV2 loses head over new Cribs vid
2. Larrikin Love split
3. Trent Reznor on NIN's label: they meant to "screw the consumer"
4. Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon on their Don't Look Back Daydream Nation shows
5. Muse announce Wembley Stadium supports
1. Sodding hell: Heavy rain predicted for Glasto
2. Still using MySpace? You low-rent good for nothing loser...
3. The Verve reunite: tour in November
4. Trouble: Akon throws fan offstage
5. Ryan Adams cheats drug death
1. Breaking news: Truck Festival postponed
2. Wanted: Pumpkins in search for Siamese Dream twins
3. Mercury Prize nominations announced
4. Mail On Sunday threatens legal action over Prince chart ruling
5. Pink warns Lily and Winehouse over sex, drugs
1. Exclusive: Field Day organiser answers festival criticism
2. RIP: Tony Wilson dead
3. Shiner for you: man beaten for singing Coldplay
4. Hypocrite! Hitler's vinyl solution
5. What have The Fratellis and Hendrix got in common?
1. Led Zeppelin reformation show: 100% confirmed
2. Found: "the worst band in the world ever!!!"
3. Fighting cocks: Kid Rock batters Tommy Lee
4. Go! Team 'gutted' after Craig David request
5. Grohl: "She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut"
1. Who's listening to Radiohead: In Rainbows gets scrobbled...
2. Split: Nine Inch Nails clipped
3. Is this news? Arcade Fire exposed as frauds
4. Bass: a thing of the past?
5. Red. Yellow. Pink. Green: Radiohead to release new record in 10 days
1. NME announces 2007 Cool List
2. Arcade Fire boycott Nottingham after missile attack
3. Phil Collins: 'a fat, bald, chocolate-eating bastard'
4. New romantic? Simon le Bon laments Amy Winehouse’s ‘tits’
5. Is Morrissey racist? NME firefight resumes
1. NWS: Uffie poses for Zoo magazine
2. Flakey: Tori Amos tells fans to fuck off
3. Radiohead announce huge UK shows
4. Radiohead: 'We left EMI because they wouldn't give us what we wanted'
5. RIP: Underground Kingz' Pimp C