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Weekend Falc-OUT Football Thread

Parsefone [Edit] [Delete] 101 replies 10:32, 1 November '14

Early Saturday kick off looks a decent one, resurgent Newcastle against an extremely Spurs-y Liverpool side. Not a looker amongst the 3 'o clock kick-offs, I'm afraid. Bayern Dortmund later on, though.

Distressing amounts of fractious anti-banter to follow.

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  • my team is going to lose

    magnificent_work | 1 Nov '14, 10:33 | X
    ohgood and Axis this'd this
  • my team is going to get beat so I've bet lots of money on their opponents

    El_Goodo | 1 Nov '14, 10:37 | X
    umlaut_ampersand this'd this
    • You made the right decision there, champ

      blimeycharlie @El_Goodo | 1 Nov '14, 17:50 | X
  • harry redknapp nearly signed hazard

    still_here | 1 Nov '14, 10:39 | X
  • my team is playing another team

    that are a difficult team to play against and my team is missing key players.

    umlaut_ampersand | 1 Nov '14, 10:48 | X
    magnificent_work and Parsefone this'd this
  • my team of international football stars

    Aren't good enough. We should sell them and buy some others

    Matt_was_taken | 1 Nov '14, 11:14 | X
    breakfast_t_england this'd this
  • my team is the fucking best and all yours are shiters

    harru | 1 Nov '14, 11:57 | X
    • ^^lol n00b

      umlaut_ampersand @harru | 1 Nov '14, 12:04 | X
      • fuck off we sold all our shite players in the summer to idiots and now we're gonna win the league

        harru @umlaut_ampersand | 1 Nov '14, 12:05 | X
        gonad this'd this
  • it's pretty comforting watching liverpool this season

    still_here | 1 Nov '14, 13:33 | X
    • ..

      http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11095/9447798/brendan-rogers-dismisses-suggestions-that-liverpool8217s-signings-are-comparable-to-tottenham8217s-transfer-spree

      ------>

      http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/liverpool-woe-inevitable-after-selling-4542885

      harru @still_here | 1 Nov '14, 13:55 | X
      • "Then there is the lifestyle. You have adaptation, new players coming into a different way of life"

        Taking longer than he expected to teach them the history and values of Liverpool.

        confrontedbybears @harru | 1 Nov '14, 14:28 | X
  • that waz a bad first half of football

    Matt_was_taken | 1 Nov '14, 13:35 | X
  • my rival team are looking pretty strong

    and, given that, anything other than a win for them must surely be considered a failure.

    ohgood | 1 Nov '14, 13:35 | X
    umlaut_ampersand this'd this
  • robbie savage just said co-in-side-ence

    harru | 1 Nov '14, 14:13 | X
    Parsefone, keith, and Matt_was_taken this'd this
  • robbie savage is ruining my schadenfreude at how rubbish balotelli is

    FUCK OFF ROBBIE

    still_here | 1 Nov '14, 14:27 | X
    • FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF

      still_here @still_here | 1 Nov '14, 14:30 | X
      aggressively_passive this'd this
  • what are we going with?

    pardiola
    pargeson
    parinho
    alan van paarl
    parsley
    parglish

    ?

    harru | 1 Nov '14, 14:41 | X
    • Pardinho

      keith @harru | 1 Nov '14, 14:44 | X
    • sir parlex pardewson

      still_here @harru | 1 Nov '14, 14:45 | X
    • Sir Al Pamsey

      svenrokk @harru | 1 Nov '14, 15:34 | X
  • Ooooof

    That was a shit game. Hopefully there's a stream of the Forest game! We could all watch and marvel at a good old fashioned 4-4-2.

    boxtoboxelder | 1 Nov '14, 14:43 | X
    ElthamsmateOwen this'd this
  • sanchez is the best player of all time

    kind of annoyed he hasn't scored at least one though, the dickhead. Oxlade chamberlain looks so much better when he's forced to actually stay in the position he's meant to be playing in

    still_here | 1 Nov '14, 15:51 | X
    • I like Sanchez but...

      he's a bit of a dick.

      Arsenal should be 4-0 up by now. 0-1 to Burnley it is then.

      Royter-Hatfood @still_here | 1 Nov '14, 15:53 | X
    • :D fuck knows how he got to that header

      he's like half the size of the burnley defenders

      still_here @still_here | 1 Nov '14, 16:28 | X
  • #freepodolski

    no-class | 1 Nov '14, 16:38 | X
  • our game at wigan sounds nuts

    aggressively_passive | 1 Nov '14, 16:50 | X
  • Brentford are so fucking good nowadays

    thumped Derby 2-1, hit the post too. going up as champions IMO.

    breakfast_t_england | 1 Nov '14, 17:27 | X
  • That's yer Celtic and Rangers to play each other in the league cup semis then.

    SenorDingDong | 1 Nov '14, 17:44 | X
    • shit

      that's gonna be tense

      Severed799 @SenorDingDong | 2 Nov '14, 11:41 | X
  • really good first half.

    got a potential £60 coming in if dortmund win

    aggressively_passive | 1 Nov '14, 18:20 | X
  • Is there a reason why the football thread is dead this weekend?

    Is it because the two Manchesters don't play until tomorrow?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-29832588

    keith | 1 Nov '14, 21:51 | X
    • We've just all come to the simultaneous conclusion that football is fucking boring.

      El_Goodo @keith | 1 Nov '14, 22:05 | X
      Parsefone this'd this
    • looks like van gaal has a used condom in his mouth

      codpieceface @keith | 1 Nov '14, 22:15 | X
    • Utterly grim season intit. Noone can be bothered apart from the newly minted Southampton fans

      DK isn't even here to smug it up, it's just depressing

      Parsefone @keith | 1 Nov '14, 22:18 | X
      blimeycharlie and Royter-Hatfood this'd this
      • I don't know, as a West Ham fan, I'd say it's a slight improvement on last season

        umlaut_ampersand @Parsefone | 1 Nov '14, 22:34 | X
  • Southampton are second, still

    Out of the top 11 teams, they have played the largest number of teams (8/10) who did not finish in the top 6 last season. However, they have acquired the highest proportion of points (22/24) against those teams.

    colon_closed_bracket | 1 Nov '14, 21:54 | X
    • That sounds like time well spent on your part

      confrontedbybears @colon_closed_bracket | 1 Nov '14, 22:26 | X
      colon_closed_bracket this'd this
  • Don't understand how Chelsea can still be so joyless

    when they're this good. Cunt of a club.

    Royter-Hatfood | 1 Nov '14, 22:35 | X
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JT4XADT9yA

    shrewbie | 1 Nov '14, 22:37 | X
  • Chelsea made really heavy weather of a poor QPR team today.

    It's mildly amusing watching QPR fans trying to pretend that they are morally outraged by the very existence of John Terry, whilst they are racially abusing Drogba in the next breath.

    An odd referee today. Not that he favoured one side or the other, but that he genuinely didn't seem to see anything that was going on. He wasn't playing advantage, it was as though he was a mildly interested spectator.

    Silentcommand | 1 Nov '14, 22:52 | X
  • kind of like Shawcross purely because he doesn't have stupid footballer hair

    Royter-Hatfood | 1 Nov '14, 22:53 | X
    • He got absolutely cleaned out near the end by a (legal) sliding tackle from Kouyate

      but got up laughing about it and gave him a congratulatory hand slap as he ran back. Made him seem fractionally more human

      Lucien @Royter-Hatfood | 2 Nov '14, 08:21 | X
      • probably thinking about he's going to break Kouyate knees in the return fixture

        as well as Carroll's by accident

        Parsefone @Lucien | 2 Nov '14, 13:16 | X
  • Cambiasso, eh?

    Shocking first touch on him, that lad.

    umlaut_ampersand | 1 Nov '14, 23:34 | X
  • Antolin Alcaraz :D

    Reckon the refs are deliberately winding Monk up now in the hope he puts more eye shadow on and goes full goth.

    Parsefone | 1 Nov '14, 23:52 | X
    • whenever I picture monk i always think of withers from band of brother

      he's standing on the touchline in full camo

      still_here @Parsefone | 1 Nov '14, 23:54 | X
      • WINTERS

        dunno who withers is

        still_here @still_here | 1 Nov '14, 23:55 | X
  • https://twitter.com/BBCSport/status/528565732540678144

    Lucien | 2 Nov '14, 08:26 | X
  • Mourinho's missing DanielKelly too:

    “Everyone knows how much I feel connected to this club and the fans,” he told TalkSport. “But at this moment it’s difficult for us to play at home, because playing here is like playing in an empty stadium."

    umlaut_ampersand | 2 Nov '14, 09:17 | X
  • Mourinho is just deflecting after a poor game.

    Everyone knows that singing is for twats.

    Silentcommand | 2 Nov '14, 09:30 | X
  • :'D

    https://vine.co/v/OOehwb73EjQ

    svenrokk | 2 Nov '14, 11:45 | X
    confrontedbybears, umlaut_ampersand, didyousayhand, and p_a_u_l this'd this
    • :)

      https://vine.co/v/OOi3gBJTKBa

      harru @svenrokk | 2 Nov '14, 12:28 | X
    • ???

      http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3WzqDNv6GoU/TyDpUyK_AEI/AAAAAAAAAIU/52gxhvXFxG8/s1600/Jan+25+post+darryl+strawberry.jpg

      umlaut_ampersand @svenrokk | 2 Nov '14, 13:21 | X
      • http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l57bd0DSD11qc073co1_400.gif

        marckee @umlaut_ampersand | 2 Nov '14, 13:35 | X
        umlaut_ampersand this'd this
    • He's a small man but a big man

      Parsefone @svenrokk | 2 Nov '14, 13:26 | X
  • is there a reason city arent playing nasri?

    they look kinda workmanlike atm

    still_here | 2 Nov '14, 13:43 | X
    • anti-bants

      umlaut_ampersand @still_here | 2 Nov '14, 13:54 | X
  • 4-4-2 w/ Yaya Toure struggling against a 3 man midfield

    whoda thunk

    Parsefone | 2 Nov '14, 13:48 | X
  • Valencia is a complete liability.

    valenci | 2 Nov '14, 13:52 | X
    breakfast_t_england and still_here this'd this
    • *Smalling

      Fucking useless, the kids are already better and more composed than him.

      littlebirds @valenci | 2 Nov '14, 14:22 | X
  • United's passing and control is god-awful

    on the other hand City are so lightweight in midfield they can still score goals if they can get di Maria on the ball. Bit two gents fighting over a platinum-plated comb at the mo

    Parsefone | 2 Nov '14, 13:59 | X
  • :D knew smalling was gonna get sent off as soon as he got the first yellow

    him and jones have to be the most brainless centre-back pairing of all time

    still_here | 2 Nov '14, 14:10 | X
    • https://twitter.com/DTguardian/status/528912318378573824

      Parsefone @still_here | 2 Nov '14, 14:31 | X
  • not 11 v 10 when the ref's helping you out this much

    Oh_Shangri-La | 2 Nov '14, 14:36 | X
  • Paddy McNightmare for United!

    gonad | 2 Nov '14, 14:44 | X
    • *McKnightmare

      umlaut_ampersand @gonad | 2 Nov '14, 14:47 | X
  • Mcnair and Carrick: A classic CB pairing

    littlebirds | 2 Nov '14, 14:44 | X
    • Better combination than what they started with tbf

      valenci @littlebirds | 2 Nov '14, 14:49 | X
      Infinite_Jest, blimeycharlie, and breakfast_t_england this'd this
  • kompany making two potentially critical errors in the space of a minute

    best defender in the world though

    still_here | 2 Nov '14, 15:07 | X
  • Here we go

    let the pant-shitting begin

    Parsefone | 2 Nov '14, 15:09 | X
    • Really don't think you need to worry tbh

      blimeycharlie @Parsefone | 2 Nov '14, 15:10 | X
  • further proof that you don't win anything with shite centre-backs

    littlebirds | 2 Nov '14, 15:27 | X
    blimeycharlie this'd this
  • wayne rooney airing a ball out to the right wing, on a human face, forever.

    codpieceface | 2 Nov '14, 15:27 | X
    the_dazzled and gonad this'd this
  • Enjoyed that.

    Smalling is a simpleton but there you go. Not enough being made of Hart's love tap on Oliver. Happened before all the other none sense and should of definitely been off. Butterfly effect and all that. Oliver was shoddy. Generally rate him. Think he got 2/3 pen shouts correct. Augero hit the deck far too easily for the 1st, Rojo got a lot of the ball for the 2nd, 3rd was a penalty for sure. That performance pre and post red card was a vast improvement on last season. Need to tread water until January but I'll say it again and again...love watching United.

    NikMak | 2 Nov '14, 15:53 | X
  • BBC

    Louis van Gaal on suggestions Marouane Fellaini spat at Sergio Aguero: "When you shout sometimes a little bit of saliva is with it. I don't think he is a spitting figure."

    Lucien | 2 Nov '14, 16:10 | X
    • One player giving another player an earful for going down easily(he was touched) cant see

      how that can be seen as 'spitting'. Unless it was another incident pretty small time to suggest it was.

      NikMak @Lucien | 2 Nov '14, 16:22 | X
      • I didn't even see it

        I just like the idea that the population can be divided into spitting and non-spitting figures

        Lucien @NikMak | 2 Nov '14, 16:24 | X
      • It was the reaction of a guy who'd shat it

        because he thought he'd given away a stupid penalty. Can't blame Aguero for going down when someone has booted him on the achiles in the penalty area. Equally can't really blame the ref for not spotting that one (though it would have been better if he's said that, rather than shaking his head like it was ridiculous to even think it might be a penalty).

        DillingersWheelman @NikMak | 2 Nov '14, 16:45 | X
  • Find how positive man utd fans are generally being

    Absolute lunatic stuff. The only thing to be encouraged about is how awful arsenal/spurs/liverpool have been

    Nestor | 2 Nov '14, 16:19 | X
    • Did you see United's games vs City last year?

      Positivity seems to stem from watching Daley Blind chest a ball down under pressure from two defenders And lob over to an open teammate with his 2nd touch.

      NikMak @Nestor | 2 Nov '14, 16:27 | X
      • What about your game against West Brom last year

        Or Chelsea, or promoted equivalents like Leicester/Burnley, etc

        In further decline if youre gonna go on like-for-like games, and the points reflect that. 10 less than the same games under Moyes

        Nestor @NikMak | 2 Nov '14, 16:31 | X
        • Record spending on attacking players

          And generally raved about, but hardly scoring for fun or clicking. A genuine farce at the back.

          If Liverpool and Arsenal were showing their form of last season, or even Spurs, this season would look like a total crisis so far. Only other teams shiteness making things look less bad

          Nestor @Nestor | 2 Nov '14, 16:35 | X
        • Sport is visceral though...and while you are right in a sense

          every United fan I know(and neutrals) prefer watching this side.

          It might become a worry if getting 4th place becomes an issue, which it might but not going to worry about that until the new year.

          NikMak @Nestor | 2 Nov '14, 16:38 | X
          • Fourth isn't going to be an issue, is it

            Look at who you're scrapping with for it. If things click in December/January you'll be taking third place easily.

            Parsefone @NikMak | 2 Nov '14, 19:08 | X
        • Yeah

          But the Chelsea game last season no-one knew how bad United would be that season, so Jose played for 0-0 from the start. If he'd realised we were a rabble he'd have attacked and won 1-0.

          I still think the performances are better than last season, even if we haven't been getting results. And hell, we've had to use 31 players and haven't had a chance to settle our defence. I'm optimistic we're heading in the right direction, though it's taking longer to get there than I'd hope.

          Infinite_Jest @Nestor | 2 Nov '14, 21:16 | X
  • We were passing it through city's midfield lee ally well

    Till Rooney started long balling it and failing every time. Would rather him be dropped than in our midfield 3, though he did play well in the last 20.

    the_dazzled | 2 Nov '14, 16:20 | X
    • *really well

      As for Smalling, his distribution and decision making are up there with the worst in the prem.

      Smalling, Evans and Jones are fit for about 12 games a season, royally fuck up half of them, and bumble through the rest slipping over and re injuring themselves.

      the_dazzled @the_dazzled | 2 Nov '14, 16:24 | X
  • Worrying lack of leadership from the City team today

    We all know Toure can't be arsed (unless he's around the edge of the oppositions box and there's a chance of some glory). More worryingly Kompany wasn't bollocking anyone or trying to organise his defence as we disintegrated after the goal. God knows what has happened to PabZab.

    DillingersWheelman | 2 Nov '14, 16:40 | X
  • chokeslam from Kane!

    #boom #sshh

    gonad | 2 Nov '14, 17:55 | X
    • Deflection off Daniel Bryan for the winner

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=384a752VrSg

      confrontedbybears @gonad | 2 Nov '14, 18:02 | X
  • far from routine lucky win away at a shite villa team

    and i am DELIGHTED!!

    #4th

    harru | 2 Nov '14, 18:02 | X
  • takes spurs a point ahead of rivals west brom and pardewlona

    as well as keeping pace with plucky overachievers liverpool and manchester united.

    only 8 points behind southampton!!
    (how on earth did we beat them).

    harru | 2 Nov '14, 18:06 | X
    • A long-overdue vindication for original flavour bants:

      http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4455740#r8348767

      Huge congratulations to the 4th best team in London!

      umlaut_ampersand @harru | 2 Nov '14, 18:23 | X
  • ;-D

    pencils | 2 Nov '14, 18:09 | X
  • sky going mental about kane

    £45m bid from madrid being tabled as we speak. special relationship.

    harru | 2 Nov '14, 18:11 | X
    • Sad indictment of Spurs this season that it has come to praising a mediocre player like Kane

      Forever building a squad, never building a team.

      confrontedbybears @harru | 2 Nov '14, 18:19 | X
      • Don't you...

        support Arsenal?

        pencils @confrontedbybears | 2 Nov '14, 18:26 | X
        • Why would I want to do that?

          confrontedbybears @pencils | 2 Nov '14, 18:28 | X
    • the commentators were *literally* wanking each other off

      about Harry Kane's goal despite the evidence that without the deflection it would have been the slowest, shittest free kick of the season.

      Lucien @harru | 2 Nov '14, 18:49 | X
  • The Internet reckons...

    that United XI today was the most expensive in the history of English football. Not sure about that. Surely the historyless oilballers have fielded more extravagant sides?

    pencils | 2 Nov '14, 19:17 | X
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