Going to bundle this one out early doors to thwart the usual needy/half-hearted efforts, seeing as I'm sat here with a Marston's instead of pleasuring many beautiful ladies as is my usual remit on a Friday night.

Brazil continue their best efforts to warm everyone up for Qatar by killing a construction worker at roughly the same rate as players drop out through injuy. Arsenal and Chelsea pick up their regulation three points on Saturday. City should spank City but idk, their record against them isn't great and a fully fit Negredo might make all the difference for the strugglers. Solskjaer sees if he can't make it a clean sweep for Cardiff against Swansea this season - the smart money's on him rather than Holistic Monk. Napoli versus Milan! Big! Except not.

On Sunday there's the unedifying spectacle of Fulham losing 2-0 to United, and the more intriguing meeting of Everton and Spurs. Who will lay down their Europa-shaped marker? Time, dear DiS reader, will tell.

AOB?