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I'm going to Center Parcs next month

guntrip [Edit] [Delete] 58 replies 15:09 March 4th, 2013

uhm, what do you do at Center Parcs?

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go biking

soapy | 4 Mar '13, 15:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
- I haven't used a bike in about twenty years
  
  will that be a problem?
  
  guntrip @soapy | 4 Mar '13, 15:11 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - nvr4get
    
    soapy @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - no, you'll be surprised how easy they are to ride
    
    into the lake.
    
    PickledOeuf @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    shadyadie this'd this
    - :D
      
      guntrip @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
get verrucas

fin_ | 4 Mar '13, 15:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
- they're like friends for the soles of your feet
  
  guntrip @fin_ | 4 Mar '13, 15:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
Sit by a lake

smile
eat sandwich

Yesiamaduck | 4 Mar '13, 15:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
Spend all of your money.

Only a complete and utter clown would consider going to Center Parcs. The activities on offer aren't great and everything apart from swimming will set you back a bit (it's about a tenner for a game of badminton ffs).

You could have yourself ten times the holiday for a much better price if you spent, say, 20 minutes doing some research.

DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
- why is kik posting on two accounts right now?
  
  guntrip @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
- wait do we have a new troll? :D
  
  cocodaLOL @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - if it isn't kik it reads EXACTLY like one of his posts
    
    I presumed he had just done his usual account changing, but given that the booze thread was started by forza and this terrible username replied to it, I dunno, maybe he's gone totally crazy on us?
    
    guntrip @cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - It's those 65 units
      
      Yesiamaduck @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - wait isn't sheeeeit back?
      
      because he was a bit like old school kik
      
      cocodaLOL @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - ohhhh, yeah
        
        that makes sense
        
        guntrip @cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - I'm only trying to offer some honest advice.
    
    Going to Center Parcs is akin to travelling to an area filled with Michel Star restaurants and choosing to eat a McDonalds out of a bin.
    
    DavidIckesRoadBikes @cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - for 3 times the price.
      
      DavidIckesRoadBikes @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:22 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - it's no such thing
      
      that's a terrible analogy. Yes, there are 'better' holidays for thre same money, but the amount of effort it woudl take to reserch and provure that kind of hoiliday is beyond most people's ken, or patience. CP is a bit twatty and is full of volvo families like mine, along with teh occasional out of control stag/ hen do that slips beneath the radar, but it's got a huge amount to do in pretty enough surroundings and with very little organisational requirement on your part.
      
      I know what you're trying to say, but your total exaggeration of your point renderds it null Im afraid.
      
      PickledOeuf @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:24 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - you're talking out of your arse, love.
        
        Although if venturing 20 minutes outside of the concentration camp style complex is beyond your ken to, y'know, experience the real countryside and do literally all of the activities and that for half the price, then you deserve a shite holiday quite frankly.
        
        Some people really do have more money than sense.
        
        DavidIckesRoadBikes @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        go away please
        
        no trolls in my thread
        
        guntrip @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:32 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        I'm only trying to help you out here.
        
        If you're intending to just like, sit in your cabin having a few drinks or whatever then its ok. If not, get the hell out of there and come back in the evening to sleep etc.
        
        DavidIckesRoadBikes @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:34 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        Also, stuffed to the hilt with Masonic imagery.
        
        Bit weird.
        
        DavidIckesRoadBikes @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        I know plenty about the real countryside you stupid prick
        
        It's just that not everyone can be arsed with the level of organisation it takes to do that kind of holiday outside of a regimented structure. I know my parents certaibly wouldn't know where to start with planning sonething like that, and families with young children need something that's accessible and convenient. .CP gets plenty of people out of the city and into the fresh air who otherwise might not bother. It is expensive for what it is compared to a remote bothy on rannoch moor, and you're absolutley bang on about that boss, but for some people a holiday means no hassle, and that's the premium they're paying for.
        
        PickledOeuf @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:34 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        No hassle? You have to park your car at least a 20 minute walk away from your pokey wee cabin!
        
        Not ideal if you're arriving at night.
        
        Not a bad choice for families with young children, no, although that's not the case here is it?
        
        If you think Center Parcs is good then you quite clearly know absolutely nowt about the real countryside. It's not even countryside, the majority of it is tarmaced over. It's basically a car park with a few squirrels knocking aout.
        
        DavidIckesRoadBikes @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:39 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        I know it's faux countryside, but I'm not typing out my post again., just go back and read what i wrote.
        
        We're not actually in massive disagreement- i just tohught your analogy was way OTT and reeked of inverse snobbery.
        
        PickledOeuf @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:42 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        faux countryside, which would be fine,
        
        if it wasn't situated slap bang in the middle of the finest areas of outstanding natural beauty that the UK has to offer. If it was somewhere just off the M25 then fair fucks. Just seems like a waste of time to travel all that way and not take advantage of y'know, the actual surroundings.
        
        DavidIckesRoadBikes @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:45 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        that is actually fair comment
        
        PickledOeuf @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:47 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        we're going to one in Suffolk
        
        guntrip @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 15:49 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        enjoy center parcs at suffolk
        
        DavidIckesRoadBikes @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:59 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        PickledOeuf this'd this
    - Michel Star
      
      :D
      
      lemonbrickcombo @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 5 Mar '13, 11:16 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pUjh9Id6Id8#t=3s
    
    fin_ @cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:23 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Truth
  
  I have many fond eighties/nineties memories of Centre Parcs holidays as a child/teenager. We even went to one of the ones in Holland, where my parents became extremely prudish about the naked saunas. But it is essentially middle class Butlins. Having gone there recently as an adult it hasn't aged well. Much nicer & cheaper to rent a cottage or go to a European campsite. The major advantage is that your children can be free to roam around without leaving the site.
  
  moonrat @DavidIckesRoadBikes | 4 Mar '13, 17:33 | X | ^ This | Reply
go to a party

smoke a bong
cycle your bike into a lake while whiteying and vomming all down your 15 year old sister
get sent home in disgrace.

Or as in the previous year- contrcat pneumonia and end up in hospital.

HAPPY MEMORIES.

PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
- I'm going with the girlfriend and some of her friends I've never met
  
  no way this will end badly
  
  guntrip @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Rich gf eh?
    
    guntrip you old dog
    
    cocodaLOL @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - no I'm paying for myself
      
      it's like £90 each for four nights she's told me?
      
      guntrip @cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - that's pretty good tbf
        
        cocodaLOL @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:23 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        maybe I misread the text and its £900
        
        guntrip @cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:28 | X | ^ This | Reply
- go to the teen disco
  
  and watch a blobby bird getting poked THROUGH HER TIGHTS while slowdancing with a total ned to End of the Road.
  
  PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - so it's exactly the same as the Haven parks I went to as a teenager?
    
    nb I was never either person in this scenario
    
    guntrip @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    PickledOeuf this'd this
    - your loss
      
      Jordan_229_2 @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 20:08 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Last time I went
  
  EVERYONE got sick (like properly spewing vomit sick) from swimming in the pool except for me and my gf so we got to use all their pre-booked activities :D
  
  eltham @PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
have sex in the changing rooms of the swimming pool

andyvine | 4 Mar '13, 15:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
- also have a million pancakes for breakfast
  
  i only went for a night, like
  
  andyvine @andyvine | 4 Mar '13, 15:50 | X | ^ This | Reply
fix

cocodaLOL | 4 Mar '13, 15:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
wow this thread got broken real quick

guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
Go to the subtropical swimming paradise (TRADEMARK)

decide to go to the loo instead of pissing in the pool lie veyrone else, take wrong turn out of the loos and end up in teh middle of the supermarket, dripping wet in a bikini, at that really self-confident age of 15. (don't think I've ever recovered from this.)

PickledOeuf | 4 Mar '13, 15:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
Go to the Pancake House for sure

I don't know how anyone apart from the world's 5 richest media barons can afford a holiday to Centre Parcs. SO expensive for what it is. It is fun though.

eltham | 4 Mar '13, 15:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
It's very much family orientated

I think it would be hell on earth if you didn't have kids

jacques_le_biscuit_ | 4 Mar '13, 15:38 | X | ^ This | Reply
First non center parcs google:

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/uk/709847-Help-Centerparcs-virgins-please-bring-me-your-tips/AllOnOnePage

Songs_about_ducking | 4 Mar '13, 15:40 | X | ^ This | Reply
- I'll be honest, it sounds a bit terrible.
  
  All for the same money you could go and lie on a beach in the sun for a week too...
  
  urbanfox @Songs_about_ducking | 4 Mar '13, 15:52 | X | ^ This | Reply
tempt a squirrel into your centre parcs house with snacks

cat_race | 4 Mar '13, 15:41 | X | ^ This | Reply
- we used ot get woken up by swans and geese who would tap their beaks on our patios doors
  
  PickledOeuf @cat_race | 4 Mar '13, 15:43 | X | ^ This | Reply
- tried to do this at an ATP once with some swans
  
  didn't work
  probably for the best
  
  guntrip @cat_race | 4 Mar '13, 15:50 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - tried to walk past a swan and its babies on a towpath once.
    
    the swan DID NOT like it. that fucker went loud
    
    cat_race @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 15:55 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - haha
      
      there was a loch next to my university halls last year that had swans living in it. they had some babies just before i moved out, and it often became very hard to cross the walkway over the loch after that.
      
      guntrip @cat_race | 4 Mar '13, 19:56 | X | ^ This | Reply
Rope slide/zip line thing, probably

Learn archery, definitely
Do the whole holiday on LSD and live-tweet it, please

JustJay | 4 Mar '13, 20:29 | X | ^ This | Reply
- the last one sounds like a great way to get my amazing girlfriend to break up with me
  
  NO DICE
  
  i would love to learn archery but my wonky eyes mean i can't aim straight :((((((((
  
  guntrip @JustJay | 4 Mar '13, 20:43 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - you should learn to adjust
    
    like aim slightly to the left/right of where you want to hit.
    
    CP is quite pleasant. Makes for a VERY easy break with the children. I was really snobby about it before we went. Think we've done it like 4 times now.
    
    It's not the sort of thing you're super-proud you've done but it's pretty nice.
    
    zxcvbnm- @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 20:51 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - It might help fix your eyes?
    
    Drug her friends then, you'll get more time together
    
    JustJay @guntrip | 4 Mar '13, 21:02 | X | ^ This | Reply

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