Ex-PM relocates to the countryside and in an exclusive Hello! interview proudly shows her room devoted to one of the world's largest Bob Dylan bootleg collections.
in a controversial points decision after 12 gruelling rounds in Vegas. Reigning IBF Welterweight Champion Dave Cancer is said to be "over the moon" with another successful title defence.
"She should never have been selected to replace Lampard in England's midfield in the first place," rails Redknapp after loose ball distribution sees England slump to defeat against Wales in the Millenium Stadium.
Jim Away recalls the time he was surprised to see the Iron lady whilst out walking down a dark alley. “At first she looked like she was gonna deck me, but then she walked by without incident.”
A spokesman for the estate of Ted Hughes confirms: "We have not commissoned any authors to write a sequel to the much-loved childrens classic. Though its theme, of the natural world in turmoil, is still relevant to a new generation of readers, we feel it best to let the original work speak for itself, rather than alter its reputation with a new adaptations or follow-ups."
Footballer Ben Thatcher, famed for his 2006 elbow challenge on Pedro Mendes, looks to be calling it quits as the current free agent struggles to find another club.
Perhaps it's cruel to say such things about an old woman who's almost as human as the rest of us, but if there's no such thing as society then I suppose it doesn't matter what society thinks. So bollocks to her.
set on completing her Panini sticker album. Sources close to the former PM claim she is 'unfussed' by the fact that the World Cup finished several months ago.
The former Prime Minister (pictured) arrived early this morning at Bungay in Suffolk, to take part in a rare tour of one of England's premier independent breweries. After the tour, Thatcher professed a particular fondness for St. Peter's Golden Ale and Organic Best Bitter, proclaiming the former to be "light and hoppy".
Maggie has got over the death of her husband after meeting pensioner Cecil Reaper on friendfinder. "He's no oil painting, but he's beautiful on the inside," said the former PM.
(Lady In The Radiator Song) fan. Ex-PM reveals surprising favourite Pixies song. Kim Deal has suggested it may be because the lyrics are 'a great comfort at this time in her life'.
paying tribute to the deceased singer of Norwegian black metal pioneers Mayhem when she performs with them next year. Bassist Necrobutcher commented: "She's working really hard on the act, cutting herself with knives and everything. She has that same inhuman quality Dead had. I can't wait to see her on stage."
Ex-PM Margaret Thatcher is to relaunch Norwegian independent black metal label Deathlike Silence. Reportedly a "fucking huge fan" or Burzum and Mayhem's early records, Baroness Thatcher has decided to self-fund the label to show her eternal gratitude.
Speaking of her favourite moments of 2010, former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher lamented that she may have to retire from attending Birmingham's Supersonic Festival. "I love going and always have the best time, but, what with my age, my arthritis flairs up from throwing the doom claw all day. It's just getting too heavy for me, man."
New biography of the American prog-rock band reveals they have never been paid by the former PM for a private performance at Chequers in 1985 for the emperor of Japan.
of Nation's top 5 favourite politicians. "I may not be an MP any more, but I'll have an influence on Westminster FOREVER", said ex-PM. She may or may not have gone on to say "Mwahahahahah", with accompaniment from flashes of lightning, a showing of fangs, and a chilling organ refrain.
it" was the overwhelming consensus after the ex-PM unexpectedly took to the decks as a surprise guest at recent urban music night FWD vs Rinse. "When she dropped Dizzee's 'Stop Dat' I thought I was gonna explode" revealed reveller Tarik Gray, 26.
Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher describes the frustrating experience of waiting in vain for songs that she actually wants to listen to when her iPod is set to 'shuffle'. "I don't mind some of that depressing music now and again," explained Thatcher, "and I do like that cover of Tim Buckley's Song to the Siren, but sometimes all I want to listen to is Mr. Blue Sky, so I'll toggle through the tracks for hours looking for that one song. I suppose I could have just chosen it from the main menu, but that would take the spontaneity out of it."
Betting corruption scandal hits former PM, now playing at left back for Watford, over the suspicious number of misplaced passes by her which have led to opposition goals against the Championship play off hopefuls this season.
Editor Alan Rusbridger then apologises for the error, saying: "At the time of publication we were unable to verify the authenticity of the picture. It was only after we received complaints from our readers that we realised the picture was in fact the artwork from Iron Maiden's 1980 single 'Sanctuary' and did not depict Margaret Thatcher's passing, who remains alive and well. We apologise for any confusion and disappointment caused."
onto mantlepiece. "What a lovely memento of a splendid weekend break", said former PM as she reflected on a recent cheap easyJet getaway, according to an aide. Sources close to the couple say deceased husband Denis would've loved to have been there, too, as "he was such a fan of Van Gogh's vivid colors and emotional impact".
enabling her to collect her Dimplex DXGL02 Glo-Fan Heater from the Argos counter. "This will keep me a bit warmer during this cold start to the year," exclaims the former Prime Minister excitedly.
Ex-PM is ruthlessly dispatched in political Halo multiplayer tournament by Tony Blair. "Once he grabbed hold of the sword, there was no stopping him. He just stalked me, waiting for me around corners, and stabbing me in the back repeatedly, even when I was lying on the ground, then asking, 'are you proud of me?' I fucking hate that airbrushed Toy Town ponce."
sized waxwork model from Madame Tussauds. "We tried to stop her but she just overpowered us!" said one security guard. As to why the ex-MP wanted the model, one aide told us, "she just stands there for hours trying to stare it out. It's fucking creepy."
Relatives finally crack and disconnect Maggie's stereo system after being subjected throughout the entire festive period to the former PM's incessant playing of These Animal Men's 1997 single.
annoyed that DiS is fixed. "The productivity of capitalist office-worker drones went up by at least 20% whilst that damn site was down" said the ex-PM.
In Sound member Guntrip at number 3 on List Of Enemies after discovering thread about her death. Daughter Carol assures us she'll have forgotten who he is and removed him from the list by lunchtime tomorrow.
R donor "She was fine about anything else being taken, even skin and eyes but she finds the idea of her liver being harvested after her death a bit too uncomfortable".
Turn to page 11 for our shocking pics of Maggie flashing her knickers as she drunkenly steps out of a cab outside Chinawhite. Witnesses say that the ex-PM was so unsteady on her feet that she had to be propped up by her bodyguard.
Metaphorically speaking, anyway, as George Monbiot explains in his latest rehashed column "ding dong the witch is dead keen on monetarist fiscal policy".
Sources indicate the former PM had been eating the fish every Friday since retirement, but has moved onto plaice due to a dickie stomach. The editor accepts this is a bit of a non-story, but he just wanted to bump the thread.
The former Prime Minister is said to be devastated at missing out on tickets for the American rock legends' latest, now sold-out, American arena concerts. Thatcher was heard to remark `I haven't been this distraught since that shafting Heseltine gave me`.
probably the funniest simpsons reference i've read on here.
It wasn't that good
The correct quote is "'dead' serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land"
Hello Margaret, this is God...
...frey Jones.
The BBC has not reported this yet
How do we know??
DIE...
...T COLA
Thatcher est mort...
...gage free and able to enjoy a debt-free retirement.
^^ MY FAVOURITE
well done
Just how has the Government fixed this and Rooneygate
.......to hide their shit news tomorrow ???
Amazing
Malcolm tucker.
Andy Coulson is keeping vigil at her bedside,
constantly in touch with the party hierarchy, pillow in hand, ready to smother her at the most advantageous moment.
:D
Say your prayers, Margaret...
...'cos the schools can't force you like they should!
Margaret Thatcher diiiiiiiiiiiiieees....
...her hair
why that's German for
'The, Margaret, The'
fuck!! i made a balls of that. sorry everyone
THatcher dies...
oh no wait teri hatcher's over there, go about your business.
:D
"THATCHER DEAD
A FINE JOB, IF YE ASK ME," SAYS ALMOST-INCOMPREHENSIBLE DUNDEE MAN, P.5
an elderly woman is on the brink of death
YEAHHH!!!! PARTY TIME!!
get a haircut
lectures on party time from the guy who likes blues rock
it's an acronym:
Warlock
Operated
Mass
Anihilation
Nexus
ah, the massive oversimplication.
the stock method of the eternal contrarian.
Why all the hate for this austrian bloke with a small moustache?
GET A HAIRCUT.
:D
Thatcher is Dead
tired of all these jokes
THATCHER DEAD!
Cottage owners to endure leaky roofs until replacement is found.
THATCHER HAS PASSED ON
dessert as she's watching her calorie intake.
Thatcher is dead
set on living well into her 1000th year.
THATCHER DECOMPOSING
the british economy through neoliberal economic policy.
Thatcher is no longer alive
& Kicking viewer, as it finished airing in 2001.
:D
THATCHER KICKS THE BUCKET,
now being treated in hospital for broken toe.
I'm only sick
...and tired of all these speculations about my health.
:D
THATCHER IS SIX FEET UNDER
...FAN.
"Loves" the gay one says source.
Thatcher is pushing daisies.
Miss Lowe, Miss Donovan and Miss Duke are said to be getting rather annoyed by it.
MAGGOT FEASTS ON THATCHER
Goldie Lookin' Chain rapper said to be grateful to Baroness for picking up the bill at the restaurant.
THATCHER BURNING IN HELL
Uncharacteristic localised heatwave strikes small Norwegian village during ex Prime Minister's visit.
:D
My favourite.
THATCHER PASSES
fitness test and signs for Burton Albion.
BBC TO BROADCAST THATCHER'S FUNERAL
Ex PM to spin her copy of Arcade Fire's debut album in full, as part of her surprise weeklong Breakfast Show takeover.
THAT CHER CROAKS
out one more extraordinary rendition of The Shoop Shoop Song.
THATCHER HAS STROKE
of insanely cute kitten:
http://felixgilman.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/kitten.jpg
IRON LADY DIES
ironing pile mounts
I'm so proud of it
utterly wonderful stuff.
DiS at its peak.
Thatcher bought the farm
before devolving the British farming industry.
Thatcher erased
John Kruger says "she was somewhat cold but I was happy to give her a one-way ticket to a better life."
DING DONG
it's the postman. he's got a parcel from you. from margaret thatcher.
Thatcher has died...
her stand-up comedy routine was poorly-received at Jongleurs Newbury
THATCHER SHUFFLES OFF THIS MORTAL COIL
Portrayal of the Danish Prince said to be "stunning" by Michael Billington, see Theatre, P33 inside.
THATCHER EXPIRES
Lady Thatchers driving license has expired. There are no plans to renew it.
THATCHER CROAKS
Wins Conservative Party's annual animal impression competition.
EVERY LAST RATTLY WHEEZE OF THATCHER'S FINAL MOMENTS ON EARTH NOW AVAILABLE VIA THE RED BUTTON
From the production team that brought you "The Execution of Gary Glitter."
The death of the Witch
House fad, as music fans realise it’s just Goth, but using the Greek alphabet.
THATHER’S ILLNESS FATAL
flaw in former PMs plans to retrain as an astronaut.
Thatcher dies
in fatal fall from listed cottage; family say he died doing the job he loved.
MAGGIE BUYS THE FARM
Ex-PM relocates to the countryside and in an exclusive Hello! interview proudly shows her room devoted to one of the world's largest Bob Dylan bootleg collections.
THATCHER SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES
Former PM banned from aquarium.
THATCHER SIX FEET UNDER
appearance in doubt after new season of hit US drama cancelled.
RIP MAGGIE
May onto your PC, with your iTunes compatible Best of Rod Stewart, free with Saturday's Telegraph.
THATCHER POPS HER CLOGS
in her porch so she can immediately slip them on once she gets home.
IRON LADY DIES
Tony Stark mourns his wife.
Beautiful
:D
THATCHER EXPIRED
household contents insurance policy needs renewal.
THATCHER SNUFFS IT
snuff industry said to be 'delighted' with surprise endorsement from the ex-PM.
THATCHER TURNS IN GRAVE
Betrayal of previous public statements.
:D
THATCHER, THATCHER, MILK* SNATCHER**
*THREAD
**SMASHER
"MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD"
"I'm sorry, don't you mean Tom Bosley?"
"Ah yes. My mistake"
"No problem"
"Cheers"
:'''''D
Very good :)
THATCHER GIVES UP GHOST
distraught Maggie finally concedes that Casper wasn't real.
THATCHER BREATHES LAST BREATH
...alyser test. Ex PM to give up drinking and driving.
THATCHERS LAST GASP
ar Noé impression, Iron Lady insists it's "just not funny anymore".
THATCHER DEAD
after falling from roof of cottage he was roofing.
:D
THATCHER AND REAGAN REUNITED
"We hope Rooney leaves for peanuts and they get relegated."
THATCHER ASSISTED SUICIDE
's Alan Vega in remastering the band's vast back catalogue.
Lovely stuff
:'D
Anyone else looking forward to the inevitable cremation / 'This lady is not for burning' gags?
I know I am
(Sorry...I know this isn't in keeping with the theme of the thread, but I've already played along a few times up there^^^)
THATCHER LOSES FIGHT WITH CANCER
in a controversial points decision after 12 gruelling rounds in Vegas. Reigning IBF Welterweight Champion Dave Cancer is said to be "over the moon" with another successful title defence.
:DD
NATION MOURNS PASSING OF MARGARET THATCHER
"She should never have been selected to replace Lampard in England's midfield in the first place," rails Redknapp after loose ball distribution sees England slump to defeat against Wales in the Millenium Stadium.
* Millennium
Apologies.
:DDDD
i was doing so well
and then this completely made me lose my shit. wonderful.
'THATCHER'S ASHES SCATTERED'
Former PM continues to smoke cigarettes without care or attention.
THATCHER CASHES IN HER CHIPS
Blackjack prowess means former Premier walks away £300 up.
Thatcher goes the way of the dodo
Close friends say holiday in Mauritius much needed break.
THATCHER: DEATH
INSTITUTE
w/ guests WHITELAW & HOWE
FRI OCT. 22ND
8PM - Adv/£4 OTD/£5
Thatcher heads down to Davy Jones' Locker
Hopes to get ex-Monkee's autograph at the swimming pool
:D
DIE
T KEEPS THATCHER LIVING FOR ANOTHER 83 YEARS
THATCHER: FUNERAL
still best Arcade Fire album asserts Iron Lady.
MAGGIE CHECKS OUT
of hospital in glowing health.
stop it! stop it!
she's already dead
She's stealing all the hamburgers!
*milk
THATCHER SUCCUMBS TO FLU...
...MINENSE
The former Prime Minister's obsession with a popular Brazilian soccer team has forced her to cancel several recent public engagements.
A FOND FAREWELL TO MAGGIE
Matt Groening to write out Simpsons' baby.
THE FUNERAL FOR THATCHER
Despite 'Ode To LRC' topping the 'Best Band Of Horses Song' poll.
MINERS URINATE ON THATCHER'S GRAVE
...l driveway. Security measures to be stepped up at home of healthy former PM.
THATCHER PASSES AWAY PEACEFULLY IN THE NIGHT
Jim Away recalls the time he was surprised to see the Iron lady whilst out walking down a dark alley. “At first she looked like she was gonna deck me, but then she walked by without incident.”
it's one of the best threads this year
Tories in mourning for "Iron Lady"
as Coalition scraps Conservatives' plans to erect a large metal statue in the shape of a woman in Parliament Square.
THATCHER IN COLD, HARD GROUND
-breaking new documentary about the Falkland Islands.
THATCHER NO MORE
than 5ft6 after osteoarthritis onset and the resultant increased stooping.
BRITAIN PAYS ITS LAST RESPECTS TO MARGARET THATCHER
after a national referendum rules that the former PM should be afforded no further respect for the rest of her life.
DOCTORS PULL THE PLUG ON THATCHER
A spokesman for the ex-PM said, "She wasn't pleased but they told her she'd been in the bath for longer than is strictly medically advisable."
Or...
Medical community agrees that Iron Lady's Guitar Hero habit has got out of control.
^ I like that better
just for my mental image of Maggie with her eyes shut nailing the solo to Freebird from memory.
:DD
D'oh! Meant in response to colossalhorse's last one
NO MORE IRON LADY
A spokesman for the estate of Ted Hughes confirms: "We have not commissoned any authors to write a sequel to the much-loved childrens classic. Though its theme, of the natural world in turmoil, is still relevant to a new generation of readers, we feel it best to let the original work speak for itself, rather than alter its reputation with a new adaptations or follow-ups."
THATCHER'S ORGANS CEASE TO FUNCTION
- the former PM's collection of antique Wurlitzers has sadly fallen in to disrepair (full story in ORGAN MONTHLY, October issue)
THATCHER'S CARKED IT
Michael Knight said it was news to him.
THATCHER CROAKS
new singing coach employed to help her regain her cabaret glory days.
RIP THATCHER
Actor Rip Torn defies convention and takes the ex-PM's name after their shock Vegas wedding.
:'''D
the best one
THATCHER'S GONE NEXT DOOR
To get Colin back.
THATCHER SADLY MISSED
The Apprentice last night.
THATCHER MEETS MAKER
Reverend and the remaining Makers not present at historic meeting.
A MINUTE'S SILENCE FOR THATCHER
Former PM manages to listen to roughly 1/4 of seminal Cage work.
One Minutes Silence For Thatcher
Margaret picks her favourite rap metal band
YES
:D
Thatcher is dead
sexy, say's one hastily interviewed Liverpudlian after the iron lady visits UK culture capital.
Thatcher worm food
surprise winner of Best New Product at 2010 Worm Farm Awards, beating off competition from the hot favourite Kinnock's Lovely Wormy Grub.
Thatcher Meets End
af Emlyn. Ex PM said to have "no idea" who the Welsh language musician, scriptwriter and director was.
THATCHER BITES DUST
in Hoffman. Hollywood legend wonders whether former PM is "trying to seduce (him)".
:D
THTCHE KICKS THE BUCKET
comparisons into touch. The ex-PM denied that Tory voters resemble the well-known sitcom charachter.
THATCHER IS DEAD
Norwegian ambassador confirms after suspicions aroused when she attended tea with Cameron in corpse paint.
THATCHER DEAD
Margaret's husband Denis still dead in his cold, cold grave.
I considered doing something like this but with Ben Thatcher
The former England U21 left back.
Unbelievably, it seems someone else did too
MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THATCHERS DEATH
co-workers pay respects to lost colleague. One remarked 'He really knew how to make cider, a total loss to the profession'.
THATCHER IS TOTALLY ACTUALLY 100% DEAD AND NO SUB-HEADLINE UNDERNEATH IS GOING TO DIMINISH THE REALITY OR GRAVITAS OF THIS SITUATION
is probably not how thatcher's death will be reported, as editors have rejected it for being too wordy.
:DDDDDDDDDDD
NOTORIOUS THATCHER'S DAYS ARE NUMBERED
Footballer Ben Thatcher, famed for his 2006 elbow challenge on Pedro Mendes, looks to be calling it quits as the current free agent struggles to find another club.
Margaret Thatcher Dies
in controversial Due South fan fiction released this week.
STATE BURIAL AFTER MARGARET THATCHER EXPIRES
insurance. Local councils say landfill is contemplated as suitable site.
WILL THATCHER BE ALLOWED TO DEPART NATURALLY?
Concerns raised on Drowned in Sound as users resort to desperate late night bumping to ensure that Thatcher does not fall off the first page.
THATCHER GETS SHOT
of her dated wardrobe with a visit from Trinny and Susannah.
THATCHER MEETING HER MAKER
This newly-discovered photo shows Maggie in a private meeting with Milton Friedman, c.1974.
THATCHER GAINING STRENGTH FROM NATION'S MISERY
Perhaps it's cruel to say such things about an old woman who's almost as human as the rest of us, but if there's no such thing as society then I suppose it doesn't matter what society thinks. So bollocks to her.
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/thatcher-gaining-strength-from-nation%27s-misery-201010223185/
I saw that yesterday :D
THATCHER BUMPED OFF
first page of Drowned in Sound Social message board. Former PM said to be disappointed that her humorous "death" thread had slipped as low as page 4.
MARGARET THATCHER: 1925 - 2010
= -105, claimed the ex-PM, a clear sign that dementia has affected her maths skills.
Heh.
(I just noticed the Rip Torn one up there... excellent stuff too).
top,
top posting
THATCHER HAS GONE
mental that 'Stylist' printed unairbrushed photos.
http://issue.stylist.co.uk/Stylist-fashion-travel-people-beauty/1P4cc5af43db846012.cde
THATCHER: SON MARK RECALLS LIFE OF FORMER PM
as, while still alive, Maggie is too damn senile to remember anything herself.
MARGARET THATCHER PASSES AWAY
Former Premier's motorcycle road trip in northwest India sees her cruise past unusually named small town in Rajasthan.
:D
THATCHER IS DEAD
set on completing her Panini sticker album. Sources close to the former PM claim she is 'unfussed' by the fact that the World Cup finished several months ago.
THATCHER GONE TO A BETTER PLACE
Severity of coalition spending cuts too much even for the Iron Lady, who has consequently emigrated to Canada.
THATCHER RETURNS TO THE GROUND
where she saw her first football match as a young girl - Sincil Bank, home of Lincoln City.
THATCHER GOES BELLY UP
down waterslide. Aides explain that the former PM doesn't like going down head first on her front as it is a "tit-scraping nightmare".
THATCHER IS DEAD
is an anagram of DIS THREAD CHEAT
THATCHER AT ST. PETER'S GATES
The former Prime Minister (pictured) arrived early this morning at Bungay in Suffolk, to take part in a rare tour of one of England's premier independent breweries. After the tour, Thatcher professed a particular fondness for St. Peter's Golden Ale and Organic Best Bitter, proclaiming the former to be "light and hoppy".
THATCHER GETS HER WINGS
<Abandon>
THATCHER TRADED TO THE ANGELS
Iron Lady said to be champing at the bit to make her debut for the American League Western Division champions.
Oops - the Rangers are current champions
Oh well.
THATCHER IS DEAD
thread causes me to check the bbc news website every time I see it at the top of the social board. Just to make sure.
why not check:
http://isthatcherdeadyet.co.uk/
:D
THATCHER IS DEAD
pleased to be out of hospital after being given the all-clear by doctors.
THE DAY THAT THATCHER DIES
Hefner reunite for one-off gig, opening with 'We Love The City' classic.
THATCHER IS DEAD
DiSappointed that this thread dropped onto page 5 after only two days of her being out of hospital.
THATCHER SHOT
to fame as leader of the Conservative Party in 1975 before becoming Prime Minister in 1979.
THATCHER KICKS BUCKET
Keeping Up Appearances star Patricia Routledge taken to hospital with suspected fractured ankle.
THATCHER COPS IT
Margaret celebrates leaving hospital by hosting belated Halloween party, dresses as Police Officer.
THATCHER TAKEN BY GRIM REAPER
Maggie has got over the death of her husband after meeting pensioner Cecil Reaper on friendfinder. "He's no oil painting, but he's beautiful on the inside," said the former PM.
THATCHER FOUND STIFF, COLD & BLUE
Cameron vows to change the public perception of the Tories.
really like this
better stiff cold and blue,
than spineless and yellow.
THATCHER: RIGOR MORTIS SETS IN
Ex-Pm is said to be disappointed at the thrash metal band's oversight of their seminal 1998 EP 'Demons Demo'.
DEATH FINALLY COMES FOR THATCHER
The supernatural being began masturbating over a picture of the former PM back in 1979, but come on - she's no oil painting. That shit'd be hard work.
DEATH TAKES MARGARET THATCHER
out for dinner. British actor Charles De'Ath said to have a thing for older women.
THATCHER BITES THE BULLET
Stunned magic show audience left awestruck by Iron Lady as she catches a live round fired from 10 yards between her teeth.
UNDERTAKER COMES FOR THATCHER
after last weeks Raw when 'The Iron Lady' used her signature move 'The Belgrano' on Paul Bearer.
THATCHER DROWNS
daughter Carol.
THATCHER LAID TO REST
"Grandkids can be so tiring," said ex-PM, "so I had a little nap to recover from all the excitement".
THATCHER SADLY MISSED
Pundits reported not to be surprised by Iron Lady's shanked penalty attempt in Carling Cup.
THATCHER INGESTS POISON
Hard rock band said to be surviving on bits of soggy bread in ex-PM's stomach.
:D
THATCHER JOINS THE CELESTIAL CHOIR
Subsequently bottled offstage at Reading during beautiful group rendition of "U-G-L-Y"
THATCHER BLOWN UP BY PERVERTS
New life-size inflatible sex-doll of former PM proving to be 'perplexingly popular' according to adult industry sources.
THATCHER HUNG
Yup. She's a man.
MARGE FROZEN STIFF IN A BOX, LIFELESS AFTER A KNIFING
Margarine freezes after being put too close to the back of the fridge after use.
THATCHER LOSES OUT
in x factor sing-off. sub-editor regrets missing out space.
MAGGIE MAY BE GONE
exclaims Rod Stewart excitedly before vowing never to play the 1971 hit single again live.
Yes. Yes!
THATCHER IS DEAD
cold.
THATCHER IS DEAD
annoyed it took so long for this thread to bementioned in the year-end best-of list.
THATCHER'S GONE TO HEAVEN
Ex-PM makes a surprising guest appearance at top London nightspot.
THATCHER'S GONE TO HEAVEN
Pixies fans reportedly 'bemused' by lyrics-change in recent set.
THATCHER IS BROWN BREAD
fan say Warburtons, following the Iron Lady's tour of their bakery.
THATCHER'S TIME HAS RUN OUT
Ex-PM says she will not be re-subscribing to the popular magazine.
THATCHER'S TIME HAS RAN OUT
Witnesses say Ex-PM chased it halfway down the street before giving up and returning home.
THATCHER: NO LONGER ALIVE
In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Maggie reveals that her favourite song on 'Ten' is now Jeremy after recent listens.
:D
I would have pegged her for a 'once' fan actually.
THATCHER SLEEPING WITH THE ANGELS
Ex-PM's worsening dementia revealed as daughter Carol explains she found her mother curled up among the Christmas decorations in the attic.
THATCHER SLEEPS WITH ANGELS
fan. Former premier also reveals to Rolling Stone that her favourite Neil Young album is his dark 1994 release.
THATCHER IN HEAVEN
(Lady In The Radiator Song) fan. Ex-PM reveals surprising favourite Pixies song. Kim Deal has suggested it may be because the lyrics are 'a great comfort at this time in her life'.
THATCHER DEAD
fan, having reportedly changed her mind since our last story.
THATCHER AT DE'ATH'S DOOR
Former PM said to be 'extremely keen' on new suit from Saville Row tailor, arriving there before the shop had opened.
THATCHER CHECKS OUT
Peter André. Former PM caught up front and centre at recent concert gawping at Aussie pop star's toned frame.
CAMERON CRIES AT THATCHER'S WAKE
up cover. "She's fucking butchering it!" he sobbed as the ex-PM busted rhymes to the Rage Against the Machine classic.
THATCHER LEAVES THIS LIFE
The former PM is spending increasingly more time on MMORPGs such as World of Warcraft, say worried family members.
THATCHER DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN
Reports claim close family members have confiscated her collection of JJ72 singles.
THATCHER’S ASHES SCATTERED
Due to touring commitments the cricket mad ex-PM will be reduced to snatching bits of the England vs Australia tests where she can.
THATCHER GOES TO KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Unimpressed with the film's overblown production values, the former PM also criticises historical inaccuracies in Ridley Scott's epic action film.
THATCHER IS DEAD,
paying tribute to the deceased singer of Norwegian black metal pioneers Mayhem when she performs with them next year. Bassist Necrobutcher commented: "She's working really hard on the act, cutting herself with knives and everything. She has that same inhuman quality Dead had. I can't wait to see her on stage."
yellow card
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4269951#r5645904
it's a bit redundant searching "thatcher" and "dead" in this long thread
THATCHER'S DEATHLIKE SILENCE
Ex-PM Margaret Thatcher is to relaunch Norwegian independent black metal label Deathlike Silence. Reportedly a "fucking huge fan" or Burzum and Mayhem's early records, Baroness Thatcher has decided to self-fund the label to show her eternal gratitude.
THATCHER DOOMED
Speaking of her favourite moments of 2010, former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher lamented that she may have to retire from attending Birmingham's Supersonic Festival. "I love going and always have the best time, but, what with my age, my arthritis flairs up from throwing the doom claw all day. It's just getting too heavy for me, man."
THATCHER IS DEAD
newly uncovered George Formby song about saucy roofer demands unusual uke tuning.
THATCHER CROSSES STYX
New biography of the American prog-rock band reveals they have never been paid by the former PM for a private performance at Chequers in 1985 for the emperor of Japan.
THATCHER ENTERS AFTERLIFE
Andrew Lincoln reportedly "honoured" to be working with former Prime Minister on new series of ITV drama.
THATCHER NOW A PART OF HISTORY
department at local school. "It's just for an hour a week, but it's my way of playing a part in the Big Society", she explained
THATCHER KILLED BY A GE
rman serial killer. Reports suggest he was a Labour supporter.
NO MORE THATCHER
bets being taken by bookies. "Too likely to be this year", said bloke from Paddy Power.
THATCHERS DEAD
pan performance goes down a storm in surprise Peep Show appearance
THATCHER DOWN AND OUT
of Nation's top 5 favourite politicians. "I may not be an MP any more, but I'll have an influence on Westminster FOREVER", said ex-PM. She may or may not have gone on to say "Mwahahahahah", with accompaniment from flashes of lightning, a showing of fangs, and a chilling organ refrain.
"THATCHER KILLED
it" was the overwhelming consensus after the ex-PM unexpectedly took to the decks as a surprise guest at recent urban music night FWD vs Rinse. "When she dropped Dizzee's 'Stop Dat' I thought I was gonna explode" revealed reveller Tarik Gray, 26.
THATCHER LAID IN BACK OF HEARSE
Randy undertaker Dicky Spong said of the ex-PM, "she may be old but it all still works, you get me?" before winking suggestively.
Thatcher takes Last Breath
Margaret makes surprise choice in discussion with needy indie types about favourite Low song.
:D
MAGGIE MAGGOT FOOD
In a revealing new interview, the former premier recounts tales of the bullying and name-calling she had to endure during her school days.
Thatcher Passes Tragically
Margaret Thatcher achieves pass completion rate of 24% in debut for Arsenal Ladies.
THATCHER SHUFFLES OFF THIS MORTAL COIL
Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher describes the frustrating experience of waiting in vain for songs that she actually wants to listen to when her iPod is set to 'shuffle'. "I don't mind some of that depressing music now and again," explained Thatcher, "and I do like that cover of Tim Buckley's Song to the Siren, but sometimes all I want to listen to is Mr. Blue Sky, so I'll toggle through the tracks for hours looking for that one song. I suppose I could have just chosen it from the main menu, but that would take the spontaneity out of it."
THATCHER'S TIME IS UP
and it's 9.53 seconds! Baroness Thatcher smashes Usain Bolt's 100m world record in an astonishing display of sprightliness for an 85 year old.
THATCHER PASSES TO THE OTHER SIDE
Betting corruption scandal hits former PM, now playing at left back for Watford, over the suspicious number of misplaced passes by her which have led to opposition goals against the Championship play off hopefuls this season.
THE GUARDIAN PUBLISHES PICTURE OF THE BRUTAL MURDER OF MARGARET THATCHER
Editor Alan Rusbridger then apologises for the error, saying: "At the time of publication we were unable to verify the authenticity of the picture. It was only after we received complaints from our readers that we realised the picture was in fact the artwork from Iron Maiden's 1980 single 'Sanctuary' and did not depict Margaret Thatcher's passing, who remains alive and well. We apologise for any confusion and disappointment caused."
THATCHER POPS CLOGS
onto mantlepiece. "What a lovely memento of a splendid weekend break", said former PM as she reflected on a recent cheap easyJet getaway, according to an aide. Sources close to the couple say deceased husband Denis would've loved to have been there, too, as "he was such a fan of Van Gogh's vivid colors and emotional impact".
THATCHER'S NUMBER IS UP
enabling her to collect her Dimplex DXGL02 Glo-Fan Heater from the Argos counter. "This will keep me a bit warmer during this cold start to the year," exclaims the former Prime Minister excitedly.
THATCHER BITES THE BIG ONE
Maggie scotches rumours that she is losing her appetite in her old age by greedily devouring Burger King's new flagship three-patty beefburger.
THATCHER PUTS ON THE WOODEN OVERCOAT
Ex-PM responds to Lady Gaga's meat dress by wowing the Tory faithful with a striking balsa Chesterfield coat at the Conservative party conference.
Thatcher murdered in killing spree
Ex-PM is ruthlessly dispatched in political Halo multiplayer tournament by Tony Blair. "Once he grabbed hold of the sword, there was no stopping him. He just stalked me, waiting for me around corners, and stabbing me in the back repeatedly, even when I was lying on the ground, then asking, 'are you proud of me?' I fucking hate that airbrushed Toy Town ponce."
THATCHER TAKES OWN LIFE
sized waxwork model from Madame Tussauds. "We tried to stop her but she just overpowered us!" said one security guard. As to why the ex-MP wanted the model, one aide told us, "she just stands there for hours trying to stare it out. It's fucking creepy."
THATCHER ON HER WAY OUT
former pm plans to pick up some white bread, cat food and a copy of the Racing Post.
THATCHER'S LIFE SUPPORT MACHINE SWITCHED OFF
Relatives finally crack and disconnect Maggie's stereo system after being subjected throughout the entire festive period to the former PM's incessant playing of These Animal Men's 1997 single.
THATCHER IS DEAD
offended now she has been told that the origins of seemingly innocuous word 'berk' come from the Cockney rhyming slang "Berkshire Hunt".
NB: Don't tell her it's actually 'Berkeley Hunt'. It might finish her off.
Sometimes the brain just sees what it wants to see.
THATCHER FINISHED OFF
by 13Monsters.
"5 stars - Edgy first novel from hitherto unknown internet mystery man is a Definite Costa Prize candidate." - TLS
Thatcher pops her clogs
On holiday in Holland the former PM reported a sudden growth in foot size, which forced the traditional shoes off.
THATCHER LAID TO REST
Former PM's choice of 2004 Lamb of God single as her choice if only allowed one record surprises Radio 4 listeners.
Doesn't work so well, that one
LIKE THATCHER'S LUNGS
THATCHER DEAD
annoyed that DiS is fixed. "The productivity of capitalist office-worker drones went up by at least 20% whilst that damn site was down" said the ex-PM.
Wasn't it only broken over the weekend?
THATCHER DISPATCHED
according to the Jay Z's Laugh thread.
THATCHER'S DEAD
parents speak to her from beyond the grave. Former PM reportedly "delighted" to have reconnected with her family during seance.
Maggie gone from rooftop; derided as headless and mixed up (7, 2, 4)
THATCHER LOSES LIMBS
Ex-PM accidentally deletes new Radiohead album from her inbox.
THATCHER DEAD
upset about Elizabeth Taylor's passing.
THATCHER IS DEAD
thread bumped after brief period of inactivity.
still can't get over guntrip getting this obvious, easy Simpsons reference completely wrong
SERIOUS NOT EXCITED
Thatcher Succumbs To Worms
Not usually a video-game player, Margaret Thatcher takes a shine to Team 17's much loved 'Worms'.
THATCHER HAS DROWNED
In Sound member Guntrip at number 3 on List Of Enemies after discovering thread about her death. Daughter Carol assures us she'll have forgotten who he is and removed him from the list by lunchtime tomorrow.
DOCTORS CONFIRM THATCHER NO LONGER ALIVE
R donor "She was fine about anything else being taken, even skin and eyes but she finds the idea of her liver being harvested after her death a bit too uncomfortable".
:D
UNSURPRISED ABOUT THE LIKELY DISBANDING OF CONSERVATIVE PARTY IN SCOTLAND.
THATCHER BEATEN TO DEATH
by Amy Winehouse.
THATCHER: 'DEAD AS A DODO'
Former PM announces her favourite previous winner of the Norwegian Black Metal Society's annual 'Extinct Animals' themed fancy dress competition.
THATCHER SLAUGHTERED
Turn to page 11 for our shocking pics of Maggie flashing her knickers as she drunkenly steps out of a cab outside Chinawhite. Witnesses say that the ex-PM was so unsteady on her feet that she had to be propped up by her bodyguard.
PLAY THAT ONE ABOUT MARGARET THATCHER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxLz1ED4RWo
...good at claiming expences
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/oct/28/margaret-thatcher-expenses-claim
*ses
THATCHER DROPS DEAD
Island from Christmas list following poor reviews.
THATCHER JUST COULDN'T HANG ON ANY LONGER
Ex-PM peed her panties in excitement over the imminent results to 'A QUIZ, of sorts...V2'.
NATION CRIES AT NEWS OF THATCHER'S DEATH
Metal festival. "I can't believe I'm going to see her growl onstage with Burzum," said one tearful fan. "This is gonna be brutal!"
THATCHER IS BRUTALLY SLAYED
? fan. Ex-PM fights cabinet to the death over choice of favourite Noddy Holder album.
THATCHER IS CRUSHED
by an impending sense of doom, as she forgets what she originally came into the room to look for.
THATCHER'S BODY FOUND
to contain traces of badger DNA.
THATCHER'S LIFE IS OVER
-acted on screen by Meryl Streep in new film
Played.
I came in here to make reference to Meryl Streep but couldn't think of one so had to improvise.
BARONESS MARGARET HILDA THATCHER, FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF THE UK, SHOOTS AND KILLS THOUSANDS OF POOR PEOPLE FROM ROOFTOP VANTAGE POINT BEFORE TURNING WEAPON ON HERSELF
Metaphorically speaking, anyway, as George Monbiot explains in his latest rehashed column "ding dong the witch is dead keen on monetarist fiscal policy".
THATCHER IS DEAD
RELIEVED THAT THIS WAS ANOTHER TWITTER HOAX
MARGARET THATCHER KILLED ON TUESDAY
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/11/police_identify_woman_struck_a.html
THATCHER BEATEN TO DEATH BY FORMER OPPONENT
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/8944544/Diana-Gould.html
THATCHER PRONOUNCED DEAD
according to my severely dyslexic friend.
Margaret Thatcher found dead
Mouse under her sofa, reportedly furious with her cat.
FOOD POISONING FINALLY KNOCKS THATCHER OFF HER PERCH
Sources indicate the former PM had been eating the fish every Friday since retirement, but has moved onto plaice due to a dickie stomach. The editor accepts this is a bit of a non-story, but he just wanted to bump the thread.
THATCHER EXPERIENCES HEART FAILURE
The former Prime Minister is said to be devastated at missing out on tickets for the American rock legends' latest, now sold-out, American arena concerts. Thatcher was heard to remark `I haven't been this distraught since that shafting Heseltine gave me`.
sterling work
THATCHER PERISHES
the thought of ever leaving.
Bump
Nevermind
It's a hoax: https://twitter.com/OfficialSkyNews
THATCHER IS DEAD
serious about going to Queen Elizabeth Land!
God damn it
THATCHER LIVING FINAL DAYS
of Mayan calendar in a lead bunker
THATCHER ON HER LAST LEGS
Ex-PM doesn't have a spare pair, sources reveal.
"Falklands attack surprised Thatcher"
is on the BBC front page.
I chose to misinterpret its meaning.
THATCHER HAS NOW GONE
and released papers from her personal archive that show senior Tories were initially sceptical about going to war over the Falklands
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21884556
No, for real!
OH SHIT!
.
bump!
Oh, nice necro, noob
Oh, sorry, I'll just-
*crashes into funeral canapes*
Thatcher is dead
annoyed that she'll be missing Broadchurch tonight.
Link her to this...
...oh... er... dead...
WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS
Heard the news
And came right here.