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out for dinner. British actor Charles De'Ath said to have a thing for older women.

Stunned magic show audience left awestruck by Iron Lady as she catches a live round fired from 10 yards between her teeth.

after last weeks Raw when 'The Iron Lady' used her signature move 'The Belgrano' on Paul Bearer.

daughter Carol.

"Grandkids can be so tiring," said ex-PM, "so I had a little nap to recover from all the excitement".

Pundits reported not to be surprised by Iron Lady's shanked penalty attempt in Carling Cup.

Hard rock band said to be surviving on bits of soggy bread in ex-PM's stomach.

Subsequently bottled offstage at Reading during beautiful group rendition of "U-G-L-Y"

New life-size inflatible sex-doll of former PM proving to be 'perplexingly popular' according to adult industry sources.

Yup. She's a man.

Margarine freezes after being put too close to the back of the fridge after use.

in x factor sing-off. sub-editor regrets missing out space.

exclaims Rod Stewart excitedly before vowing never to play the 1971 hit single again live.

cold.

annoyed it took so long for this thread to bementioned in the year-end best-of list.

Ex-PM makes a surprising guest appearance at top London nightspot.

fan say Warburtons, following the Iron Lady's tour of their bakery.

Ex-PM says she will not be re-subscribing to the popular magazine.

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Maggie reveals that her favourite song on 'Ten' is now Jeremy after recent listens.

Ex-PM's worsening dementia revealed as daughter Carol explains she found her mother curled up among the Christmas decorations in the attic.

(Lady In The Radiator Song) fan. Ex-PM reveals surprising favourite Pixies song. Kim Deal has suggested it may be because the lyrics are 'a great comfort at this time in her life'.

Former PM said to be 'extremely keen' on new suit from Saville Row tailor, arriving there before the shop had opened.

Peter André. Former PM caught up front and centre at recent concert gawping at Aussie pop star's toned frame.

up cover. "She's fucking butchering it!" he sobbed as the ex-PM busted rhymes to the Rage Against the Machine classic.

The former PM is spending increasingly more time on MMORPGs such as World of Warcraft, say worried family members.

Reports claim close family members have confiscated her collection of JJ72 singles.

Due to touring commitments the cricket mad ex-PM will be reduced to snatching bits of the England vs Australia tests where she can.

Unimpressed with the film's overblown production values, the former PM also criticises historical inaccuracies in Ridley Scott's epic action film.

paying tribute to the deceased singer of Norwegian black metal pioneers Mayhem when she performs with them next year. Bassist Necrobutcher commented: "She's working really hard on the act, cutting herself with knives and everything. She has that same inhuman quality Dead had. I can't wait to see her on stage."

Ex-PM Margaret Thatcher is to relaunch Norwegian independent black metal label Deathlike Silence. Reportedly a "fucking huge fan" or Burzum and Mayhem's early records, Baroness Thatcher has decided to self-fund the label to show her eternal gratitude.

Speaking of her favourite moments of 2010, former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher lamented that she may have to retire from attending Birmingham's Supersonic Festival. "I love going and always have the best time, but, what with my age, my arthritis flairs up from throwing the doom claw all day. It's just getting too heavy for me, man."

newly uncovered George Formby song about saucy roofer demands unusual uke tuning.

New biography of the American prog-rock band reveals they have never been paid by the former PM for a private performance at Chequers in 1985 for the emperor of Japan.

Andrew Lincoln reportedly "honoured" to be working with former Prime Minister on new series of ITV drama.

department at local school. "It's just for an hour a week, but it's my way of playing a part in the Big Society", she explained

rman serial killer. Reports suggest he was a Labour supporter.

bets being taken by bookies. "Too likely to be this year", said bloke from Paddy Power.

pan performance goes down a storm in surprise Peep Show appearance

of Nation's top 5 favourite politicians. "I may not be an MP any more, but I'll have an influence on Westminster FOREVER", said ex-PM. She may or may not have gone on to say "Mwahahahahah", with accompaniment from flashes of lightning, a showing of fangs, and a chilling organ refrain.

it" was the overwhelming consensus after the ex-PM unexpectedly took to the decks as a surprise guest at recent urban music night FWD vs Rinse. "When she dropped Dizzee's 'Stop Dat' I thought I was gonna explode" revealed reveller Tarik Gray, 26.

Randy undertaker Dicky Spong said of the ex-PM, "she may be old but it all still works, you get me?" before winking suggestively.

Margaret makes surprise choice in discussion with needy indie types about favourite Low song.

In a revealing new interview, the former premier recounts tales of the bullying and name-calling she had to endure during her school days.

Margaret Thatcher achieves pass completion rate of 24% in debut for Arsenal Ladies.

Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher describes the frustrating experience of waiting in vain for songs that she actually wants to listen to when her iPod is set to 'shuffle'. "I don't mind some of that depressing music now and again," explained Thatcher, "and I do like that cover of Tim Buckley's Song to the Siren, but sometimes all I want to listen to is Mr. Blue Sky, so I'll toggle through the tracks for hours looking for that one song. I suppose I could have just chosen it from the main menu, but that would take the spontaneity out of it."