Dear Customer Correspondence Representative,
Last night having been tempted for weeks by your new Meat Beast Range, my girlfriend and I went to your Restaurant at Kings Walk in Reading, and purchased a ‘Double Meat beast Whopper’ for myself, and a ‘Meat Beast Whopper’ for my Girlfriend. I ordered mine as it was advertised, however my girlfriend chose not to have any cheese, as she has never been a fan of what she views as a synthetic rubbery yellow gunk getting all up in her grill when she wishes to savour the myriad other tantalising flavours encompassed within a Burger King Burger. And true to you motto, “Have it your way”, she was able to have it her way. I must say I can see her point, however, I feel it does offer a certain je ne know quoi to the meal, however most of what I have just said, or in fact written; (after all the words that you are reading may well have been discussed within my head, but I’m reasonably sure I do not talk my way through the writing of this letter, I think those around me might have one or two things to say about me doing so, if I did.) has served little more than to set a slightly elaborate scene, yet one could say for the purposes of my complaint, and mark my words, this is a letter of complaint, it is important to know the exact ins and outs of our order.
We decided to eat out and walked a good five minutes to a more romantic location; I see it as being very important when wining and dining a lady as beautiful as my girlfriend, also, without meaning any offence, we both happen to prefer McDonald’s fries. The queue in McDonald’s was actually pretty large, so it took us another few minutes to order our fries, so as you can imagine, we were very eager to start munching down our burgers.
When we unwrapped our respective Whoppers however we were devastated to discover that despite being advertised as having not one, not two, but three types of meat, because man deserves to have more meat, or something similar, (the internets have unfortunately not come up trumps in my endeavour to get the wording fully accurate) there was a complete lack of the THREE PIECES OF PEPPERONI!!! Both of us were completely aghast. We didn’t go back to the restaurant as we had an important meeting to rush off to after our meal. Moreover, it is not our responsibility to have to beg your chefs to serve us the sandwich that is advertised. Furthermore, it was certainly not “my way” to have a burger which instead of being a mighty triple threat attack of meat, turned out to be a rather fence sitting effort “oooh I’m a whopper!” “oooh I’m a bacon double cheese burger!” “NO YOUR NOT, YOU’RE A FLAME-GRILLED-FAILURE!”
All things considered, our meal did not hit the spot that it was meant to hit, and we ended up having to drown our sorrows over quite a few cocktails, and read you my words, I’m deeply hungover right now!
I would like to be fully reimbursed for my pain and suffering. This should include full repayment for the miss-advertised sandwiches we were served, a giant cuddly panda for my girlfriend, as she was a very sad panda having also been extremely ravenous for three slices of pepperoni at the time, and a refund of my Tuesday evening which was deeply tainted by the dire treatment bestowed upon us by your extremely unacceptable service.
I look forward to receiving EVERYthing that I have demanded,