Boards
"Construction Worker Still Hasn't Given Up On True Love"
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/construction_worker_still_hasnt
"Calling every woman special in her own way, Barbierri explained that he always tries to touch upon the individual qualities of each woman he greets. For example, if she happens to be drinking something through a straw, he'll ask if she wants something else to suck on. If she seems to be in a hurry, he'll ask where the fire is, and then subtly suggest that it may be, in fact, in his pants. And if her nipples are visibly poking through her shirt, he'll inquire if she is cold, and gallantly offer to warm those beauties up for her."