Here’s a situation to ponder. You’ve been told the world will end in just one minute. Do you:
a) Shrug your shoulders and accept it?
b) Scream in disgust that you’ll never see Hollyoaks murderer Toby brought to justice for his crimes against acting?
c) Grab the nearest member of the opposite sex and admit that it usually only takes you thirty seconds anyway so you might be able to manage it twice? or
d) Listen to a song called The Erotic Volvo Drum Machine?.
While it’s never pleasant to miss an episode of Chester’s finest soap opera, you would be wise to choose option d). At least that way you’d go with a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

In a world gone mad, Grandmaster Gareth, one-ninth of Birmingham’s Misty’s Big Adventure, wheels out a collection of 30 insane compositions clocking in at a minute, or thereabouts. Ranging from playgroup hip-hop ('Dr Dre Buys A Pint Of Milk') and Casio-country ('Got Me Keyboard Back') to the sound of livestock being butchered ('The Abattoir Chorus Line') and a Peruvian troupe high on helium ('The Music Of The Andes'), it’s fair to say our host shows Chris Eubank the true meaning of the word ‘eccentricity’.

If it wasn’t so funny, someone would call it art and play it in a white room at the Tate Modern.