It sounds like Bloc Party’s ‘Helicopter’ mugging it up Rapture-style, and is so brazen a filch from its influences you almost don’t know where to look. It’s only because I love you I’m even gonna listen to it again, and look, just you watch what happens – stabby guitars, noooo, funky stop-start bassline – MAKE IT STOP – cheeks sucked-in prat makes overheated vocal entrance mentioning MySpace within the first two lines – ohfortheloveofgodwhenwillitend...

For an idea of the sheer levels of panic this song induces in the casual listener it’s to Nicolas Cage, and his masterful performance in 2006’s remake of The Wicker Man, that we must solemnly turn.