Avant Garde Preschool may sound like an utterly and ludicrously pretentious 'thing' and that's partly because it most likely is one. Nevertheless, the New York-based programme (if you can call it that) is to feature one Thurston Moore, of Sonic Youth, 'lecturing' children about white noise and related issues this weekend (via Pitchfork).

As strange as it sounds, it's true. The whole thing is happening in New York - it's not clear whether he'll bring his 'Dissertation On White Noise' this side of the pond, but quite unlikely - at Partners & Spade as part of the aforementioned AGP, kicking off at 11.30AM.

If you happen to be in the New York area, have kids, and want to take them along, you can do so for a one-off payment of just $30. Kids must be aged 8-12 and not over six-foot tall or with any discernible facial hair, as are the usual rules.

We can't be entirely sure as to what will be included in the dissertation or whether it will be published in text format, but we can only hope so. If any kids going to this want to review the lecture, get in touch. Not sure what the 8 year old me would have thought about having to sit through this but somewhere between bored and bemused would be it. One unnamed poster on our forums remarked "Pretty sure that's child abuse".

Perhaps.