Watching the decline of a once-stellar musician is like witnessing a close friend grow regrettable facial hair. It's a slow and awkward process that you have no option but to witness it in all its pathetic glory, and nothing short of a drunken evening and a wet shave can rectify matters.
Ironically, Moby would probably look ridiculous with an ill-advised beard, and his new material certainly isn't doing him too many favours, either. 'Spiders' is admittedly a step up from the shameful debut single 'Lift Me Up' - plodding borecore has given way to more hopeful sounds that feel written for stadium audiences. Warm strumming and Moby's reedy pipes sway with the words 'Come back to us, spiders' while ponderous strings and hollow drumbeats busy themselves in the background.
You could level this description at more successful moments in Moby's back catalogue, but the problem lies in that those moments are now six years old and this is what we're left with - the audio equivalent of a handlebar moustache.
2Jesus Chigley's Score