Various
New Blood (The New Rock And Roll Vol.2)

It’s utterly ironic that the best bands on ‘New Blood...’ are those who fit most awkwardly – if at all – into the nu-no-wave of rock ‘n’ roll. Or whatever the kool kidz are calling it this fucking week.

Ten Benson, for example, are the backwards cousins of every true guitar-wielding gutter punks, and ‘Come Home To Me’ is more an invitation to dinner with Charles Manson in Royston Vasey than a leather jacket-clad dirty love song. Greasy can be beautiful.

Wales’ finest, Mclusky, get all sardonic on our asses like only Mclusky can, Andy Falkous spitting out words during ‘Whoyouknow’ like they’ve just touched his mother up. “Your heart’s gone the colour of Coca-Cola, your heart’s gone the colour of a dustbin!” Quite.

On the other side of the globe, The D4 are clean cut New Zealanders with an ear for a tune and an eye for a smartwicked title – that’ll be ‘Rock N Roll Motherfucker’ then. Pretty much AC/DC sped up and with a half-decent singer thankyouverymuch.

Meanwhile, The (International) Noise Conspiracy (strangely bereft of their ‘The’ on a compilation with 13 other culprits of your-new-favourite-band-starting-with-‘the’) bring back memories of previous endeavours with legendary punk trailblazers Refused, just not quite with the same vitality.

Love As Laughter, The Von Bondies, The Catheters and Beachbuggy also deserve mentions for not being, like, total dog poo. But elsewhere The Hives – plus a smelly stack of bands sounding not unlike The Hives and each other – do enough to make you wanna tattoo “FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU RETRO CUNTRAGS” into your forehead with rusty guitar strings.

Although praise God, Allah or whoever the soddin’ hell you want that we escape ear sodomy from The Skes* and The Libertines.