The Stuck-ups are Tiffany, Julie and Jasmine and they are automatically awarded the status of ‘cool’ for getting their record put out on current label of choice, Sympathy For The Record Industry.
They perform 14 songs in just under 20 minutes and sound like early Ramones but without the complex musical arrangements or dense, multi-layered wordplay.
Song titles include ‘baby’s got a hard-on’, ‘TV boyfriend’, ‘Can’t Stand U’, ‘Kill Yourself’, ‘U Treat me like a Spastic’ and, naturally, their own theme tune.
The obvious reference point is the pure gonzo genius of The Slits Peel-sessions, along with shrieking vocal harmonies lifted from cult Spanish band The Pussycats, not to mention the occasional Chuck Berry guitar solo which rises from the ‘no chords and an attitude’ buzzsaw racket every couple of songs.
And of course, it’s fucking brilliant. Primitive, sleazy punk rock goodness that can kick the ass of whatever whiny indie-boy magnum opus it’s hip to like at the moment.
Sadly though, in this cynical world of ours, there’s always the fear that The Stuck-ups were created by some fat muso blokes in order to fleece 10 quid out of sad pro-grrl boys such as myself .. but they sound pretty genuine to me (the muso blokes would have insisted they play better for a start!) so I think I’ll ignore that thought.
God, I love records like this. And if you don’t, well, as the girls say themselves, ”drink bleach! It’s cheaper than a gun!”
8Ben Haggar's Score