Peter's treaters: latest tabloid talk

Ha! Fooled you, fooled you all! Not that Peter, t'other Peter! Ha again!

The latest from the weirdly wonderful and ever so wayward world of Mr Peter Doherty and his collection of rag-tag liggers, repulsive leeches and right-out losers is thus: he's checked into rehab. Well wouldn'tcha've guessed?

Pete has packed his bags and ditched the drugs for a spell at a clinic in Arizona, the very same place that Kate Moss attended when getting over her so-called problems. Which is sensible, obviously, because the US isn't full of money-hungry chancers with zoom lenses and tabloid contacts. Oh no, not at all.

Moss has gone on record as saying that she will spend no further time with the Babyshambles man unless he really does clean up his act. Or teaches them to play, whatever.

A source told The Sun: "Pete has realised his love for her is greater than his love of drugs." Which is sort of sweet, no?

Peter Andre was unavailable for comment, but will no doubt find time in his hectic schedule to have a go at our recovering hero. Be fair, everyone else has...