It may be 5pm on a Monday afternoon, but after DiS sent writers strafing out to six different festivals over its course, our hearts and minds are still very much with the weekend.
To this end, we have composed this digest for your consumption - it's not much of a meal really; just a meagre plateau of half-stories, half-truths and leftover quotes lumped together in some kind of pasty news gruel. But still...that's why it's a digest, init?
Morrissey slags Madonna onstage! Hilarity!
It's a weary and predictable formula - fading star A denigrates fading star B - but it's perhaps equally predictable that Morrissey should come out with one of the quotes of the year so far. “I wouldn't be surprised if she made that African boy she adopted into a coat," wailed 'Moz' of 'Madge', before adding: "and wore him for fifteen minutes, then threw it away." DiS finds Morrissey's claim that he "wouldn't be surprised" somewhat dubious, but there's no doubting such venom, really, is there?
Diddy advertises for PA on YouTube!
Publicity stunt? Not so, says Diddy, making his second appearance in as many post-weekend digests. "This is not a joke, I'm trying to give a chance to somebody who is out there to be my personal assistant to help me to be the best and maybe I can help them to one day be the best." So far Diddy has had over 10,000 applications - perhaps underestimating the appeal of pandering to the every whim of a grave-robbing, incoherent talent vacuum. The stringent search criteria include having "some sort of skill set" and "being able to read". Anyone here apply?
Towers of London dismembered!
Sort of. Lead guitarist The Rev and drummer Snell have leapt from the ailing dustball that was, or is, Towers of London, cutting remaining original members down to three. Replacements came quick - Christian Marr and Aaron Attwood have taken over axe and stool respectively. Nice to meet you, boys.
Prince revolutionises music industry! With the Mail on Sunday!
Prince is 5 ft 3". Roughly the same size as the wingspan of this stunt kite. I'm not saying that we should collectively seek him out and strap him up. I'm merely mooting that we could.
...And that's what happened this weekend. Festival coverage from Dour, Melt!, Latitude, Summercase, Exit and Supersonic to follow as soon as we can pull the words together.