DiS at the Brits launch: your wine was rubbish but we drank it anyway

Last night - well, afternoon really - DiS tubed it all the way to Hammersmith for the launch do for 2007's Brit Awards. The two-hour recorded-for-telly show - which went out 'live' on ITV2 last night - was presented by Fearne Cotton and featured live performances from The Fratellis, James Morrison, Lemar and The Feeling. And some free wine. Which was bad. But we still had several glasses.

Upon arriving, we immediately gravitated to the only decent people in the room - the people of Matador. Why were they there, we asked. We can't tell you, said they, before we offered: is it because Cat Power is nominated in the Best International Female category? Ha! Their secret was out. Just like H from Steps. Is he a racist too?

‘Course, the most important aspect of the event was the revealing of all the nominees for the myriad of gongs awarded at the ceremony, to be held on Valentine’s Day, broadcast live, and hosted by sometime funnyman Russell Brand. But before we get into those, here’s what DiS learned from yesterday’s soiree with a handful of stars.

• Russell Brand’s hair really is that big.
  
• Singing different words along to ‘Chelsea Dagger’ doesn’t make it any better.
  
• James Morrison, right, he’s really bad.
  
• Fearne Cotton looks pretty in white.
  
• Girls from Hollyoaks look better in real life, even that one that’s in prison, or something.
  
• Stage school kids (they made up the screaming teenage audience), despite all their acting training, can’t even muster the tiniest of cheers for a mention of Bob Dylan in the nominations.
  
• Nor do they care much for Thom Yorke.
  
• James Morrison, right, he’s really bad.
  
• But not as bad as Mika, who we didn’t see there. Also absent was Lily Allen (pictured), which was a shame as we wanted to ask after the health of her dog.
  
• The Feeling are worse live than they are on record. Believe.
  
• Just to reiterate: James Morrison, really really bad.

And the nominations, in full, are…

British male solo artist: James Morrison, Jarvis Cocker, Lemar, Paolo Nutini, Thom Yorke.

British female solo artist: Amy Winehouse, Corinne Bailey Rae, Jamelia, Lily Allen, Nerina Pallot.

British album: Amy Winehouse - Back to Black, Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, Lily Allen - Alright Still, Muse - Black Holes & Revelations, Snow Patrol - Eyes Open.

British group: Arctic Monkeys, Kasabian, Muse, Razorlight, Snow Patrol.

British breakthrough act: Corinne Bailey Rae, The Fratellis, James Morrison, The Kooks, Lily Allen.
(Winner to be chosen by Radio 1 listeners)

International breakthrough act: Gnarls Barkley, Orson, The Raconteurs, Ray Lamontagne, Wolfmother.
(Winner to be chosen by MTV viewers)

British live act: George Michael, Guillemots, Kasabian, Muse, Robbie Williams.
(Winner to be chosen by Radio 2 listeners)

British single: Corinne Bailey Rae – ‘Put Your Records On’, The Feeling – ‘Fill My Little World’, James Morrison – ‘You Give Me Something’, The Kooks – ‘She Moves In Her Own Way’, Leona Lewis – ‘A Moment Like This’, Lily Allen – ‘Smile’, Razorlight – ‘America’, Sandi Thom – ‘I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker’, Snow Patrol – ‘Chasing Cars’, Take That – ‘Patience’, Will Young – ‘All Time Love’.
(Five shortlisted nominees will be selected by listeners to two commercial radio chart shows, with a winner decided on the night of the awards. Ooooh, interactive.)

International male solo artist: Beck, Bob Dylan, Damien Rice, Jack Johnson, Justin Timberlake.

International female solo artist: Beyoncé, Cat Power, Christina Aguilera, Nelly Furtado, Pink.

International group: The Flaming Lips, Gnarls Barkley, The Killers, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Scissor Sisters.

International album: Bob Dylan - Modern Times, Gnarls Barkley - St Elsewhere, Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds, The Killers - Sam's Town, Scissor Sisters - Ta-Dah.

Outstanding contribution to music: Oasis

So, readers: is that a fairly level playing field, or are there standout certainties in any of the categories? Do Oasis deserve an award for their contribution to music? Judging by the facial expressions around us as their name was announced, possibly not. But we’re not the public en masse. Why do people think Jack Johnson’s any good and, come to think of it, where the heck are My Chemical Romance? Aren’t they one of the hugest bands of the last twelve months? Any other acts conspicuous by their absence in the nominations? Oh, and high-fives, Guillemots. Great to see a relatively new band in a category alongside massive artists like George Michael and Muse.

DiScuss…