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Well, do they?
Aren't most of them about how many cans of Kestrel you imbibe?
that is on my list of 'to do' for some reason.
For vegetarians : (
Tofu doesent really aquire the nice smoky taste the way a sausage does.
I am full-blown meat eater. With meat-eating teeth and a digestive system that repels anything green.
But barbecues are still the single most overrated things in the world.
but I like the odd one every now and again. Best to have it in some sort of sheltered spot though, or the wasps attack like bastards
At the end of the day, the smoke keeps them away. Which is where my issues start.
1) The smoke. It clings to you, making you smell like you've spent the afternoon in the centre of a fire in a factory that makes shoes. It fucking stinks. You cannot get the smell out for love nor money. So, that's a change of clothes needed straight away. And all in the name of overcooked burgers in stale fucking bread served by some cunt (usually the 'alpha male') in one of those comedy pinnafore's with tits on who is in two possible states (i) really fucking irate or (ii) really fucking pissed but always (iii) really fucking irritating.
but if the burgers are good, they beat any burgers made anywhere else.
I'm willing to make the sacrifice of smelling slightly of smoke.
If the burgers are good, they are almost as good as a Lidl own-brand burger, even if made from the finest mince. They taste of smoke, flames and DESPAIR.
I might steal that Bamos rant, up there ^^ for further use.
start your own barbeque. With your friends. That would solve all your problems. Put the barbeque up the other end of the garden and get someone who can grill burgers.
is that like when you get quorn and they call it chicken flavour? why do they call it chicken flavour when a) ur a vegetarian and b) it doesnt contain or taste of chicken
I dont eat it. I eat proper veggie food made of like, vegetables and ... stuff.
Will do you good.
it will do you good, I leik totaz promise.
Full of natural goodness that you need, and it's tasty.
Where else is it acceptable behaviour to run to the end of a garden, spin round a cricket stump 15 - 20 times before attempt to run back up the garden, only to stumble hilariously like a drunk tramp, causing you to crash through your neighbours fence, only to be REWARDED with a burger and a can of Kronie plucked fresh from the bucket full of water?
At a BARBEQUE, that's where. If you don't know, you better get to know
barbeques are fucking ace. Drinking! Outside! In the summer! With fire! And marinated tofu! The only way you could make this even better would be by CAMPING IN THE GARDEN!
1) drinking and eating outside is SHIT. Barbecues are held in the summer. I hate the feeling of the sun beating down on me, as I burn like a bastard and get sweaty. So sitting by a fucking fire in the sunshine is actually basically hell.
2) Marinated tofu? You are a awhole new world of wrong.
3) Drinking out of shitty cans or steadily warming glass bottles. It's horrible. I'd rather sit inside, it's vastly preferable.
1) you have barbeques in the EVENING. They'd be shit in the day. You have them as the sun is going down and it's all nice and cool.
2)tomato puree, ginger, garlic, lime, soy sauce, brown sugar, lemon, tofu = SEX
3) why can't you drink what you normally drink? Barbeques are usually attached to a house with glasses and a fridge and a freezer.
ginger lime and chili fried beef
i just found what tehre was in my cupboard.and made a delicious steak thing.
when you're the one taking care of it...
For the others it's fun !
The food is always not cooked right and there's too much of it.
The blazing fire also gets you too hot.
Well, not 'as usual' really. but this time he's got it right.
I've got a BRILLIANT idea!
Let's go cook some meat.... OUTSIDE!
It'll be just like cooking in a kitchen, but with more insects, more fighting over warmed-up ketchup and more of a need for fixed-smiles and pretend enjoyment.
no wonder i've been going wrong. i need more tomato puree...
fact that you're outside and the drink keeps getting warmer as the sun is warming it, like some sort of incredibly open oven.
And in the evening, there's that ' Let's go inside' moment which just ruins everything. You know it does. It's like a really shit pub crawl. Outside to inside.