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not really. i washed my hands in the nick of time.
have you had any unfortunate incidents concerning poo?
my sister did a poo and rubbed it all over the walls. apparently my mum wasn't impressed.
i did a poo on the carpet and giot scared that my mum would get angry at me, so i piled all of my toys on top to 'hide' it... needless to say my mum was not impressed with the shitty floor and toys.
I must've been... seven?
School trip. Stayed over at a manor house type place.
Had to share bath water with other pupils.
Do I need to say what I was presented with once I stepped into the bathroom after another? AND THAT I WAS THEN TOLD TO GET IN ANYWAY? BY A TEACHER. WTF?!
I did not get in. The experience has completely scarred me and I can not take baths.
They tried to make you have a bath with a poo in it?!
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE.
Poor Diver. Traumatised by a turd.
I would sue the school now for a shit load (pardon the pun) of cash.
And WTF is it with sharing bathwater, anyhow???? That would have traumatised me, forget the POO FACTOR.
*feels sorry for you.
diver from now on
me and my other brother still to this day sing -
'who's the friendliest bear around, *shouting* POOOOH! THAT'S WHO!'
and he gets upset. we are 22 and 20 respectively. he is 14. HAHAHAHAHA
of course he gets upset!
Still damn funny though :D
glorious sibling torture :D
i was walking my dog and trod in some dog shit, without realising.
Got home, walked up the stairs , dog turd in tow, and then left my shoes in my room. OOO yes i have a wooden floor, it was smeared in the brown.
yeah actually, has neone had to get it out of carpet b4. i bet its a bitch.
in The Sun for y'all today:
ask rooney about getting poo out of carpets adman...
but I got peed on by a dog when I was a young un.
you knew jesus?
so watch it, Raz, watch it...
it wasnt the dog who has hired someone to teach rooney to poo
when she was a little un and got freaked out and everytime she tried to get away from the poo it just moved closer to her.
A greek friend of mine had a rather senile grandmother who, in the latter stages of her life has many incontinence and related problems
One time at a family dinner she came into the dining room with her knickers around her ankles and her hand outstretched saying 'where should I put this?' - she had her own poo in her hand
they decided after that to invest in incontinence pants
anyway, when she died, on the day of the funeral they had the wake at her house and during the tea and sandwiches (or whatever the greek equivalent is) there was a loud groaning noise in the ceiling above their heads - of course, everyone looked up, at which point the ceiling burst open and deposited its contents on the guests and the dining room table.
It seems that granny had spent the last 9 months or so before she died disposing of her nappies in the upstairs toilet and forcing them around the u-bend.
at the time it was terrible - but they all laughed about it later - grandma's revenge they called it
Enjoy your lunch!
NOOOOOOOO! Can you imagine the clean up?
Sod that, I'd just move house.
is this absolutely TRUE, Anschul? Like, a FACT???????????????????
This is HILARIOUS!!!! It would make a GREAT short film, wouldn't it?
She was sitting in the toilet of a well known supermarket, as one does.
It became evident that there was someone in the cubicle next to her, but she thought nothing more of it.
Next thing she knows, a pebble of poo literally rolled under the partition of the toilet cubicles and settled there in front of her.
This was shocking enough, but it was then followed by an elderly lady's hand reaching under the partition and groping blindly around on the floor to try and retrieve her little pebble of old lady poo.
Mrs B now tries to avoid supermarket toilets.
Christ, this is the thread of the week.
"a pebble of poo!" hahahahahahaha!
go semi religious
did she stamp on the old lady's hand in retaliation?
I reckon at least half of the population has been pigeon pooed on at some point.
not in their mouths though... eurgh.
"I'm not embarrassed or ashamed because its good luck! Honest!"
but in the mouth.........shiiiiit that's got to be at least 4 yrs bad luck.
left a sour taste in my mouth
if you're unlucky enough to have a pigeon shit in your mouth in the first place, then you're pretty much fucked for life. or God hates you, something like that.
whenever I had to have one with my sister (who's 7 years older than me). Apparently, they were round and flat.
You're rubbing poo in your hair aged... however old you are :oP
Oh, you really think it's pretty?!
I love toiletty poo humour.
once shit his pants in the sandpit.
his name is adam herring but he was known as "choco pants herring" for so many years after...
and it genuinely is a friend, and not me, this is a FACT
him and his little brother were taking a bath once, and his brother did a little poo in the bath and my friend thought it was a malteser.
so he put it in his mouth.
i think he then spat it out.
please note: this is one of the instances when "my friend" is my friend, and not me.
that made me gag, nearly.
how could someone mistake shit for a malteaser?
I've never done it on a poo though.
So I don't know.
Anschuls tale would make a great short film.
Bamos' is just another delve into the seeminly bizarre life he lives in and we are on the periphry of (sp??).
And as mentioned earlier, Mike's tale of ABUSE.. HE should sue for a shit load of cash.....
related an amusing tale over the phone last night.
She is a dinner lady at the local secondary school and the caretakers had a video of what had occured on a recent 'open day'
An old lady (who really had no excuse because there were loads of loos in the school. crouched down in a corridor looked furtively round then curled one off. Revenge or just wierd old lady behaviour? no-one knows.
My friend raul plopped himself while taking a walk with me one day. He was perfectly calm and having informed me of his indiscretion, suggested we go to his house. We did so. He disappeared for a few minutes and returned downstairs, a huge grin on his face, holding a water balloon. Floating in the water was a small poo. He then happily opened his front door and lobbed it into the sunroof of a car driving down the road. It was the funniest thing i have ever seen.
I mean, they have small entries.. he must have squished it with his fingers, no??? Gross gross gross...
make me feel better, as my little brother once let one slip out while we were sharing a bath. i was about 5, i think. i picked it up. gutted.
Had once bought a new pair of trainers. Om his train ride home he decided to put these new trainers on. He threw his old ones out of the window. He then thought "Hmmm, what shall I do with this empty shoebox?" and so he took it with him to the toilet, deposited his poo in the box, put the lid on, shook it up a bit to get it nice and mushy. Then just before it was his stop, he left the box, lid off, on one of the seats.
I know how to function as part of a civilised society.
that soiled his pants on the way to school, didn't tell anyone and tried to carry on as normal without anyone noticing.
and then went on a long walk while we were camping...
when i was young and had to go home to wash it off my hand, it one of my earliest memories i think, everyone was laughing! :(
only girls don't poo
she keeps it in her knapsack