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I fuggin hate celery
And toasted bagels dripping with butter...
...I love having food again.
an olive stone - WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME?!
Its ruined my appetite for tea now. Bastard olives.
but celery is nice.
along with onions.
but nothing is worse than cucumber
given ME a giant stiff
you realise this means you hate me, Alan :(
I hate aubergines, peppers and courgettes, yeurgh. And people ALWAYS put them in vegetarian things.
plus "leeks" - they even SOUND horrid.
Aubergines are amazing. They're purple.
leeks are ACE though, I'm going to make some for my tea in a bit.
funny how you've just EXACTLY DESCRIBED LEEKS.
Leeks are the vegetable equivalent of phil collins. All sloppy and smelling of onion.
you must be cooking them wrong. They're all lovely and soft and crispy and sweet - and what's wrong with smelling of onions anyway?
onion is just my least favourite smell in entire world. I literally can't stand it.
and I like eating onion.
I'm not cooking for you, ever.
hooray for leeks.
Peppers and cucumbers are nice, as are onions
Mushrooms are nice but better raw
Aubergines and courgettes are fucking vile
Leeks and celery are just meh
are evil. Cook them right, they're lovely, but over or under cook them even slightly and you may as well be eating sewer-filth. So them, for being sneaky.
are good, except brussels sprouts.
do NOT dis them
is not a vegetable.
check and, indeed, mate, good sir.
but go on, try it.
i've done meat. i do meat. it's, like, ok. but vegetables - where to begin? a panoply of multicoloured delight.
Does that include Ricky Gervais?
falls squarely into the brussels family, i believe. observe the cruciate leaf forms nestling in his greasy neck-folds.