Thank you for driving deliberately close to the pavement when I was standing at the bus stop. The puddle you drove through at high speed was the only one for some distance and it was astute of you to notice that I was standing right opposite.
The maneuver was carefully executed, the arc of filthy manchester rain water which leapt from the puddle and straight onto my face coat and hair was graceful and had perfect aim.
I must commend you. You have obviously practiced for years to get the right combination of timing and trajectory to splash me so exactly.
However I must express concern. Perhaps your huge, gas guzzling, child's face smashing SUV has not brought you the happiness you might have hoped for if you have to enliven your mornings by splashing innocent travellers on their way to work? Perhaps your next Consumer Purchase should be like a big plasma screen TV? Maybe that'll suddenly make all the shows less soul destroying? Maybe it'll make your wife love you again, and your children want to be in the same room as you? If only to watch SpongeBob SqaurePants in ENORMO-vision?
Anyway, well done
Andy, aged 23, Manchester.