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Is killing too good for them?
I loved lifts. I used to race my dad up two floors or so. I couldn't work out why he always one; I thought they were a bit like time machines.
regression setting in I wuv my lifts I do
make them stand on the top then whoosh the lift to the 78th floor so they are squashed to a bloody pulp.
bastards, all of them.
with the wheels. LAZY
where Homer has to pretend to be an OAP and starts complaining how Jasper has a wheelchair and "here I am using my legs like a chump" - genius :D
I reserve the right to tell you I'm good, and travel one floor in a lift, and pick bits of your plate when we order that crazy 'foreign' food so I can try it all.
I took the lift for one floor for a while because my arse was quite painful when I walked up stairs.
it was buggery
I used to work with a whale of a woman who used to take it DOWN one floor...to the canteen - I doubt she'll make it past 30 but then she was young 'she was a right princess her dad said' - right.
She also said the best present she ever got at christmas from from some 'fellas' at work who bought her a box of 'dick chocolate'
head to even do speed-dialling these days
huh huh huh?
like old people should be
am I bad?
though given I have to go 4 it can still be a little irritating.
Anyway, you technically count as disabled. Obviously I wasn't having a go at people who genuinely need that lift. Just lazy fackers!
in what way am I technically disabled? Being short?
*high fives with southpaw*
because you're wearing your weird things that make stairs freaky for you!
I don't mind you sinister southpaw's. Ruth's a leftie drummer after all.
In 3rd and 4th years at Manchester I lived in a house with three others and they were all left handed.
who, to be fair would only block the stairwell every few feet to mop their brows and get their heart rates back to the usual 22000bpm needed to keep their burger, cake n' lard warehouses (their bodies) on this planet a few years longer.
it would only be a safety hazard if they took the stairs, cos if they had a heart attack halfway up they'd roll down again crushing everything in their path, like in Indiana Jones.
you whippet thin two-at-a-time stair leaper?
This is just the top of the iceberg.
and we have legs.
hence why I was sacked from franz ferdinand in the early nineties - too much brawn y'see
they always say that fat people are jolly or funny, but the rolley poly weebles that I've always ahd the displeasure to share a sweating office with always seem to have their heads in a nose bag of bacon and sugar sandwiches deep fried in pig fat to even make time to write any good material.
*not really, PC / tolerance fans
a picture of modern (or mordant) britain with no intent on hurting anyone's feelings.
George Orwell once said that fat men have to be jolly becaused if anyone was everr see one crying it would be 'vulgar to the extreme'