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whats blue and doesnâ€™t fit?
a dead epileptic!
This was told to me by an epileptic, Does that make it ok?
I ran over a Frenchman in a Renault Clio, is that okay?
and throws some nails on to the reception desk and says' Can you put me up for the night?'
No, You shouldn't be driving a Clio
don't know what happened there.
whats the difference between James Blunt and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!
walks into the doctors surgery and goes "I think I'm going mad! I just got naked and wrapped myself in cling film"
To which the doctor replies "well I can see your nuts"
what does NASA stand for?
Did you hear about the short sighted circumcisor?
He got the sack!
with a christmas pudding up his arse - would you like cream with that? asks the doc
What's pink and fluffy?
What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding it's breath
what's brown and runny?
What's brown and sticky?
A brown stick.
lesbian vampires say to each other when they say goodbye?
my teeth look like buffalo legs after rummaging in that huge ungodly bush of yours."
Do you think I'm the kind of person who goes around making up nonsensical punchlines for my own amusement?
I admit it, it isn't the real punchline. You trapped me into admitting it with your wiley questioning.
you next month....
ha ha! so rank.
ET short for?............
He's got little legs.
2 cannibals are eating a clown and one says to the other; Does this taste funny to you?
Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "Man, I could easily have sex with any woman in this bar."
The second mans ask, "Oh really, dude? Well, why do you say that?"
The first man replies, "Because Iâ€™m a rapist."
is fucking hilarious. it made me laugh, because it is so wrong!
2 parrots on a perch. one says to the other 'can you smell fish?'
You could be the first fox to conquer the world of standup.
If 'LOL' means 'laugh out loud', is there an acronym for doing 'a snort somewhere between amusement and derision'?
I like it. ASSBAAD. Ace.
'buffalo legs' line has just made me snorty giggle. Nice one.
Whats Green and Yellow and eats nuts???
a reply to me? if so, why thank you. if not, oh well!
why was the washing machine laughing?
Cos it was taking the piss out of the knickers...
that's my flatmates favourite joke...
What do you call a small dog that can't stop shitting?
Is it rape if the dog's tail's wagging?