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They're so weird and hilarious. But why?
Everyone pretends to like them, but let's face it, they're pretty shit and boring.
it's definitely true, not in a bad way. they're just unusual creatures among animals.
Quick must run to scratching post. That will sort this mess out!
By Jove! Someone has left a plastic bag out of place. How convenient, I've been looking for an appropriate alternative to the coach.
People actually love their dogs; like, proper (non-sexual, at least in most parts of the country) love.
I don't love my cat, I admire him in the way I used to admire Eric Cantona, even though he was a total twat.
I see in cats some of the traits that we are all too commonly capable of displaying- pride, sulkiness, territorial selfishness, an inherent need for affection whilst also an inherent desire for enough time alone and undisturbed, opportunism.
The thing with cats is that these manifest in little or no harm, but to an occasional rabbit's head or a bird.
With our bigger body and bigger minds, we have unleashed these same dark arts on the whole planet, whole species and clans. Cat-earth would operate in some kind of harmonious balance. But human-earth doesn't.
T man had a colonic last week, he just purred and tea-cosied all night with big wide eyes.
MARLON: HEy Rosco
ROSCOE: Hello Marlon
MARLON: Today I want to know what is a cat
ROSCOE: Let's get in my plane and find out what a cat is
(they get into the plane)
ROSCOE: Down there are some cats
MARLON: Those wooden things in the ground wth green paper on
ROSCOE: Yeah why not I'm too drunk to be commandeering a plane anyway
(they crash land the plane)
MARLON: That was a busy day
ROSCOE: I know right