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Americans, olives, Gregg Wallace
(which would be a good thing, obviously)
People who voted Conservative at the last election
judging by the amount of times I end up eating other peoples' pizza olives because they've kicked off about how gross and slimy they supposedly are.
What kind of prick sees any downside to looking at a lovely baby that somebody is extremely proud and excited to show them.
it is when you get 300 come up in your facebook feed of someone who has just become an Auntie who you only know through a friend anyway. If a mate has a kid and shows me some pictures - no worries.
Ok, tbf I only rarely take the tube much to commute and yeah it is shit in rush hour but also general crowds at stations on the street doesn't really bother me as it does some of my friends who every so often 'just need to get out of London cos it's so busy'. I just get my music on and either walk around people or just get zen and stay in my own little bubble.
(this better work!)
The ex Rangers striker? (and manager, but they don't like to talk about that tenure these days)
HAURICE WASSAILING: Ah a lovely shower; perfect time to get clean and to contemplate issues of the day and of life in general
(HAURICE does what he enjoys doing in the shower; imagines he's being interviewed by top showbiz interviewer MORACE BACKGNARL)
MORACE: So Haurice I hear you have a new film on the way
HAURICE: I have 15 films coming out all on the same day
MORACE: I bet they are the 15 best films in the world
MORACE: Because you are in them
HAURICE: I had already taken that implicitly from your statement
MORACE: What is it like being beloved by all of the women
HAURICE: Well Morace, being beloved by all of the women is... how can I express this in layman's terms... and lemme just assure you, when I say LAY man, I don't mean--
(suddenly HAURICE's psychopathically egomaniacal reverie is interrupted!!! FIDEL CASTRO has kicked the bathroom door down and has walke'd in!!)
HAURICE: Wht are you--
(FIDEL CASTRO does a wee in HAURICE's shower; HAURICE tries to avoid the jet, but FIDEL's prolific output covers too wide a berth for HAURICE to have any reasonable chance of avoiding it all. FIDEL then leaves)
HAURICE: (direct to audience) and he wonders why the CIA keep trying to assassinate him?
oh it's too hot
oh it's too cold
oh it's windy
oh it's too darek
oh there are insects
who gives a shit?
well slow on the uptake
using plastic bags at supermarkets
People posting mundane stuff on social media, in fact if prefer it if more people did.
More banality, and less reposting of shit links, sharing of shit photos, promoting of shit events and championing of shit causes, pls.
into my mouth
not having soap to wash your hands with after the toilet (people clearly pretend to be slightly bemused when there's none left in the dispenser... oh normally i'd be using soap and washing my hands properly to kill all germs...)
their boss (who actually cares about anything their boss says?)
people getting annoyed about the cecil the lion thing. i was QUITE RIGHTLY outraged at the murder of a lion by some guy who crosses half the world to kill endangered species.
that if you had to sit next to your boss on a Ryanair flight and his hair was greasy and full of dandruff and he was constantly littering and touching you with his dirty poo hands, then you wouldn't mind?
The final season of Lost
Motorway service stations
When pubs only have Stella Artois/Kronenburg
Shopping in IKEA
Ikea is fantastic.
(oops, didn't mean to this)
Oh no! The scummy fried chicken and lebara phone shop have been replaced with a quinoa and kale smoothie bar.
Oh no! Non-dilapidated housing and reduced crime rates? But how will I be mugged?
Kanye West, and Glastonbury headliners in general.
Football players wages.
Where the workers are paid for the income they generate. Cuts across race, class, nationality, sexual orientation. You are paid on how much you generate as an employee. People HATE THAT and simply refuse to accept its the purest form of meritocracy.
But agree that most complaints about the wealth/morals of footballers can be summed up with `We don't like these uneducated, unsophisticated povvos having loads of money`.
People don't tend to like it because it doesn't fit in with their understanding of how the world works. Bit like complaints about giving poor people welfare payments - they don't like how they spend their money. Well tough shit.
It's the amount they earn relative to more "worthy" professions, for something as daft as sportsball.
Just playing devil's avocado here obviously, because capitalism.
is drawn across class lines too.
But sure, football's a worthwhile endeavour too.
and never have to do anything to actually earn it, take the case of Mario Balotelli at Liverpool he's getting paid shit loads to do fuck all, yes they have to work hard to get a position where they earn a high wage but unlike in say tennis where you only earn high if you continue to achieve, footballers can earn shit loads and do sweet fa.
mate, be real
That in 2015 in the English professional football leagues not a single player has yet been comfortable enough to come out.
Most minor traffic / driving issues
Most immigration related complaints
Especially teams losing, being relegated, all that noise. I used to get worked up as a kid if England got knocked out of a tournament but there have been so many I just couldn't give a shit any more. It makes me laugh if anything. You see grown men crying if their team gets relegated ffs, just enjoy a few seasons playing smaller teams, it could be fun. Especially the case for supporters pissed off if their team "only" gets 4th or 5th in the Premiership!
Yes the dialogue is worse, yes the actors are worse. It is still a pleasant watch, even though it is more mediocre.
Are we all forgetting how disappointingly it ended?
Corny as fuck but, y'know, get over yourselves or summat.
loads of people seem to think there's no middle-ground between 'why worry about housing when we can prance amongst the elms with my German shepherds' and 'we need to pave over the sea for the inexorable march of progress'. Like that probably unbelievably irritating Guardian article about Generation Rent not giving two shits about the countryside, maaaaan
Always looking for ideas on where to go/avoid.
'OMG! You use an iPhone?! How do you cope?'
the public transportation
doing it to wind you up, stop getting wound up "I know she is! But [unbridled anger]"
the institutions behind those shit-stirry headlines like "What has she said *this* time?"
putting on bedsheets
hanging clothes out to dry
but the rest of those can get to fuck