Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
being refused service counts
Was nearly chucked out of a pub in the 3rd (?) Spoons crawl though.
Me and the TV had watched adaptation and synecdoche (pish) while drinking 5 litres of red wine between us. Then we went to some bar/club and I thought I was in an episode of 24 and she was a terrorist.
I pushed her into the pool there and then started accosting people asking for President Palmer - I must speak to President Palmer. It wasn't long before I was escorted to the exit.
Then when we tried going in other places the doormen had already been told about me and we had to go home. She stole a shopping trolley from a nearby supermarket and pushed me home in that.
couple of years ago. was waiting at the bar to get served for ages. the only bartender eventually walked off to go and get something. I waited for a while longer then thought fuck it and poured my own pint.
was asked to leave shortly after.
the stories aren't funny though
Basically some drunken guy had slapped my friend's rump. she took very reasonable umbrage. He moved away and i had words with his mate, who was sort of apologetic, but tensions were raised. the bouncers, whom we get on well with, got involved and asked us to leave, stating that the guys would likely start a fight with us if we didn't leave. it was all very odd.
more entertainingly, we were boozing all the way to Butlins for The Portishead ATP. we'd had to show our railcards at various points through the jouney. Mono were on at around 6pm, in the Center Stage (upstairs). we got in the queue and i got passed security, but soph was rather stumbling around, with a very drunk face on. not really understanding what was going on, she attempted to gain access by showing her railcard. Twigging that she might have had a few to drink, security told her she couldn't get in. I went back to speak to them and they told me to give her a few coffees and come back later. Sophia didn't drink coffee at the time so if she'd been capable of becoming enraged, she certainly would have. as it went, i had to explain to her a few times on the way back to our chalet why we weren't watching any music. after 4 or 5 tellings, she finally realised she'd been asked to drink a drink she didn't like and stomped onward like a very squiffy yet furious gnome.
they we're very polite about it and I was very polite back.
Caught red handed with illicit substances
And the bouncer said I can either take it back and leave for the night, or leave it with him and stay. I said I really wanted to stay so he could keep it, he said he felt sorry for me and gave it back.
Very weird, nice man though.
Think it helped that a friend walked passed during the exchange and said "great character reference, ruffers*" which made him crack up for some reason.
*used my real name obvs
when I was there, but it was more than a couple of months ago, haha! Imagine trying to chat up the female bouncer when your face/beard is caked in sherbet :'D
I blame you UP! :)
me and a mate came out of a toilet cubicle together to see a bouncer stood there. he said 'you've been doing one of two things I don't like. either bumming or sniffing drugs'. my mate was totalled, asked the bouncer which one was illegal, then said we'd been bumming. they wanted to call the police (which was a bit bizarre) until I told them we were both underage and hadn't been asked for I.D, so it was probs in everyone's best interest for them to just kick us out.
and being from newcastle we usually try to pre-empt it to save the embarrassment, or if one friend works their ticket you all group together and move on to the next bar/pub/club.
have friends (male & female) that would always get started on or other people threatening to jump/glass them because they never held their tongues and just told people to fuck off all of the time, which is never what they want to hear when they're pissed
also once a friend projective vomited on seating areas of three different floors in a lloyds (all in the space of about fifteen minutes) on a packed saturday night, his finest moment
i believe my mam got chucked out of a fancy champagne bar last year for singing along too loudly bjork
theres a diser-friendly mam anecdote for you
For some reason they have bouncers outside on a Saturday night. We turned up about 10ish - my bird and her mate were a tad on the excitable side having a fag outside and I saw the bouncer go over to the barman and tell him not to serve us. So I went in to get a drink and the barman refused. We'd all only had about 4 beers by this point. It was mystifying.
I wasn't that bothered about that in essence - it was just the fact that the barman was such a fanny about it. Like that weedy customer services guy in The Simpsons `Err, I'm r-really sorry but... I've been told not to serve you because... well, because you've... had too much to d-drink?`. He was SUCH a wet-end about it and it rankled me. If he'd have firmly said `Sorry mate, not serving you this time - you're too drunk. Bye.` then I'd have been like `nonsense, but fine`.
Went to the next pub and while I was getting served I told them I'd been refused in the last one and they were like `Really? That's insane...`
which was pretty fucking hilarious partly for how anti-climatic it was
It was a Sunday and it was pretty much dead anyway and the DJ had put a song on we requested (Celebrity Skin by Hole, just to give you an idea of the kind of place the Catty is) and after drunkenly enjoying that but not getting in anyone's business (again, it was pretty dead) some heavy comes up to us and asks to have a word and so we go talk to him but he was actually just escorting us out. Neither of us were particularly bothered about this, because Catty is a shitehole and it was stupid being there in the first place, but we politely asked the guy what we had done wrong, and he was just like "YOU'VE JUST HAD ENOUGH" and started getting really unnecessarily wide with us. Must have looked quite funny to anyone else given even though we were smashed we were being quite courteous in defeat (in our minds at least) while this perfectly sober dude was getting needlessly aggressive with us just for asking the question.
I think it's one of the few places in Glasgow I've not been kicked out of over the years, that being said I think I've only been in a couple of times.
but it was such a rubbish kicking out we couldn't even really feel humiliated by it, just laughed
for having trainers on. I thought it was the late 90s again, the music was certainly stuck around that era.
I seem to have done alright other than that. I didn't own any physical ID for a while and managed to talk a bouncer round by saying "I am 32. I have a child, and a beard" - this was for a Future of the Left gig ffs.
apart from in Amsterdam last year when we were all kicked out by the drunk bar owner because one of us doesn't drink.
We really should've been kicked out of that bar on the last night for singing Killers hit Mr. Brightside...
At least it wasnt Keane - 'Somewhere only we know' I guess...
Only a temporary delay thankfully.
got thrown out of a club for having a dump and taking too long. They literally smashed the cubicle door down and carted him out with his trousers still round his ankles. 10/10 bants.
I've only been refused entry to a place once, and that was because the bouncer thought that the can of coke I was drinking while in the queue was "brandy". Didn't even argue,
after asking a girl during a private dance if he could pretend she was a donkey and that he was riding her around Skegness beach.
I don't *think* he was being intentionally derogatory, he was just off his face.
Just remembered I was on a stag do a couple of years back. Me and a mate got separated from the main group but went to this 80s club and had of a whale of time cutting some hard rug to 80s bangers. Awesome fun. Found £20 on the floor at the bar as well and rinsed it on cocktails. Perfect.
I nipped off for a piss and there was this weird step thing between the club and the gents. On the way back I didn’t lift my leg up far enough and my heel caught on it and I stumbled slightly. No bother. Got back on the dancefloor and a bouncer bounds up to me and strongarms me out `Come on mate, you’ve had enough` etc. I saw the funny side and explained to him when we got out I was alright and I just caught the step awkwardly. He says to my mate `RIGHT. YOU. Take him round the corner and get him some food and then we might let you back in. OK???`. Seeing the farcical nature of it (I was drunk, sure, but absolutely fine) we nipped round the corner and I had a fag. Had a slash. Waited for 10 minutes and went back.
Got the front of the queue. Bouncer was like `You’re not coming back in – I’ve already thrown you out once`. And I was like `Come on mate – I’m perfectly fine, I’ve had some chips (lie) and I’m evidently nowhere near drunk enough for this`. Wasn’t having any of it.
The strange thing was, during this entire incident my mate was absolutely HAMMERED and could barely stand up. When I got refused re-entry the bouncer put his arm around my mate going `Come on pal – you get back in there and have a good time` and the cunt was practically asleep on the geezer’s shoulder. Bouncer practically had to shepherd him back into the club before I started shouting at him that I’d not been allowed in and I was over the other side of the road.
and got roughly turfed out. First time I've fallen asleep in a club for years, went through a phase of doing it all the time.
fell asleep at corp (Sheffield shithole), slumped under one of the tables on the top floor. Woke up at 7am and had to convince the cleaners to let him leave without calling the police
my gf got kicked out of a bar round the corner from the corp for falling asleep a couple of years ago while we were waiting to watch mits' band. Fortunately they were playing outside so we didn't have to go far
They were all cubicles and all unisex with gaps at the top and bottom. Presumably to put people off vigorously bumming / doing drugs in there.
My mate got sent to find me and spent several minutes shouting and peering under each cubicle - a bouncer was questioning his actions when I stumbled out.
I reckon about 4/10 on the banter scale that actually.
for smoking a joint
I got kicked out of Talk/TOTS, for trying to sneak past the doorman between Bar Bluu and Talk and trying to blend into the crowd.
Also been kicked out of there for fighting some bellend.
for sitting down when they played Sit Down by James. Nothing more, nothing less. Not the only one doing it either (although I was the first/only one singled out). Not just asked to leave, but stongarmed/forcibly marched out. A sorry tale on all counts really.
At a Hell Is For Heroes gig in Sheffield. Can't remember what year, but it was Valentine's Day. Sat outside in the rain without my coat waiting for my mates for a good hour. Still got back in for the club night after though, weirdly. Dunno, 2002?
Other was in Southampton at whatever Reflex is/was at the time. A friend of my best mate thought I was chatting up his girlfriend (unlikely) so told a bouncer I was doing coke in the toilets (v.unlikely). I got back in then too, after I'd had to strip to my underwear and take my socks off for a search. They threw him out instead.
This tour: http://www.alanpearce.com/rebeckah/html/hell_is_for_heroes.html
"Even by the third song I was hoping for a quick death to put me out of my misery. My watch has never looked so attractive."
Also, just realised that I Wish I Was A Girl IS basically I Hope You Die! Fuck. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzy9tsYv07o
the tumbledown in farnborough 2004/5ish, arm twisted behind my back thrown into the street for having my feet on a stool.