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(that wasn't a punchline)
also, if you think you are, see a doctor. and also don't drink the lactose-free stuff because if you're genuinely intolerant there's no point because it still has half of the lactose in.
But it suddenly makes a decade and a half of gastrointestinal stuff make an awful lot more sense.
This is exciting.
I take it that's globally?
I'm guessing just in the uk or europe it'll be a lot lower
like only about 5% of whities or sth
I too am a self-diagnosed lactose intolerant.
Switched to lactose free milk in tea and hazelnut milk in cereal (black coffee, obviously).
Still eat cheese but try not to eat too much.
Feel a lot better for it.
lactose-free milk is only for people who self-diagnose. basically a placebo.
You've just fucking killed his placebo :(
I'm not sure I can live like this.
most of us are. Personally, I'm never going to give up proper cheese though and I don't think my symptoms are very bad- maybe feel a bit crampy after a cheese binge. If it's making your life miserable then maybe consider cutting it back/ out and seeing if that helps?
It's slightly complicated by some other stuff I have going on (I'll spare you the details) but hopefully it'll help till I get proper confirmation.
Behaved like a proper scientist though - the day we realised that this might be the case I had the cheesiest pizza on the menu and an enormous tiramisu to see what would happen.
Crippled me for most of the next day :D SCIENCE.
(I'm an actual idiot)
reminds me of this
yeah, you've got it right here. we weren't made to eat lactose with every meal (same with people who eat too much bread and pasta everyday, get a bad stomach and think they've got coeliac disease). nobody was built to eat these things in such excessive amounts.
if it's making your life miserable i'd recommend keeping a food and symptom diary. then obviously going to see a gp for basic allergy tests and a gastroenterologist can refer you to a dietician.
But there is a fair amount of that
Or not intolerant?
I'm pretty much a dairy queen.
I had great difficulty ordering cheese-free Bavarian/Swabian meals last week. I even tried ordering a salad and it came with fuckloads of Swiss cheese mixed through it.
what if you are though and this whole time you've been operating at like 50% capacity because you've been crippled by milk
as I wouldn't really fancy the responsibility of being Supreme Ruler of the entire universe.
And it said that most people aren't supposed to be able to digest milk after we are babies but a few hundreds or whatever years ago there was a mutant gene in east Europe that spread to scandanavia etc, which explains why so many people born in Asia have difficulty with dairy.
Basically if you can tolerate milk then you're a mutant, and your children will be next.
But had to Theo it anyway, because phrasing.
you'll get better once all that poisonous milk dries out of your brain
I don't make a habit of explaining jokes. I just make bad ones.
When you're done milking this lactose shit get your spreadsheet in order.
we're like the x-men
but yeah, same here - self diagnosed though. Noticed yoghurt was making me sick about a year ago, constantly on the toilet and parping.
Cut it out completely, the thought of having milk in tea now makes me want to vom! Black tea and coffee is the norm. I don't have soy/almond milk at all now and just avoid in general. I have the off bit of cheese (mainly on pizza) and it doesn't affect me too badly. But yeah, you totally get used to no dairy.
maybe it's the mouldy cheese that's doing it
But I've known for ages that takeaway pizza absolutely ruins me the next day, but I'm alright with most supermarket ones. I reckon it's because the pizza cheese analog on cheap supermarket pizzas isn't really cheese and is probably pretty low in lactose.
Ice cream, though... :'(
The only things I've found I'm allergic to are strychnine, cyanide, arsenic and some (but by no means all) neurotoxins.
is this you?
Not worked out why. Maybe just life intolerant
Used to have to drink soya milk when I was a wee tot otherwise [REDACTED]. Think I probably eat cheese every day and I fucking love it mate, fuck off.
Will not prevent my monthly ice-cream binges.