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Just thought you should know
that's not good. i hope you feel better soon
Sorry to hear that, mate.
What does your lifestyle consist of at the moment? What factors do you think you might be able to experiment with in order to alleviate the depression? Maybe moving somewhere new for a bit?
Hope things get better for you soon.
And trying to accept my fate in relation to being alone for the rest of my life, whenever I get close to making my peace with it I remember what it feels like to be loved and I feel really shitty. Nevermind time to build up my mental health again :\
You need to be thinking of ways not to be alone for the rest of your life instead of trying to accept that you will be.
Harder said than done I know but... it cannot be that bad given your dashing good looks and mad guitar skillz
But I'm getting closer to 30 and have nothing to show for it and no trajectory except downwards
Accepting the fact that you *are* alone and might well continue to be alone and then get used to that and figure out how to live on your own will for many, many people (myself included) be *a lot* more constructive than to keep wondering and worrying about how and when and where etc etc you might meet someone.
Being alone as in single at least is not the worst thing that can happen to someone and loads of people lead great lives despite being alone. The whole "don't stop hoping, don't give up, just try harder" schtick is something that people who are single for a significant amount of time just get SO sick of hearing. Again, SURELY it's better to accept things for what they are than it is to keep fantasising and hoping for something that seems completely unlikely to ever happen.
And without me knowing any details about what Bammers means when he says that he is "depressed" (because I don't know him personally), giving this kind of advice to people who are struggling with depression can actually be quite harmful. I have no doubt that you have the best intentions and everything, but loads of people with good intentions can say really harmful and problematic things. So I don't mean to really have a go at *you* or anything, just felt that this needed pointing out right here.
long time single and depressed person.
I feel guilty now, sorry Sketches!
but as someone who has had quite a lot of that "just change the way you think" kind of advice, i just feel the need to point out how that's not always very helpful.
also don't understand why YOU would feel guilty here, i'm the one being difficult :p
self acceptance is best.
I just feel guilty for everything when I'm in this kind of mood, it's super unhelpful but there we go.
it was a joke...... :o
perhaps I shouldn't joke?
I often get it wrong :(
Also can't quite believe I wrote 'Harder said than done...'
Too much purple drank.
thats pretty similar to how I am, have long periods of being completely fine with it, then i'll see someone I like and that stupid hopeful part of my brain will reassert itself, which feels nice at first but which leads to the gnawing sense of emptiness in the long run. its annoying because during the fine periods it is really fine. went to counselling and it gave me a pretty good understanding of myself which is actually what makes me think it will never happen, to many interconnected knots of problems. There is this tension because the general consensus is about people should be positive and not give up hope, but often it is the hope that causes the problem.
Bought myself a nice small house.
Got a girlfriend
She moved in.
We are pretty cramped but happy.
That's the 'doesn't come along until you stop looking' paradox. I think there is some truth to it, perhaps the signals people give out when they are comfortable with themselves. Trouble is knowing this can make it harder as people think maybe if I give up it will work out, which is not the true giving up required. It worked for me once after I totally gave up on turning 30 but then I wasn't up to it, the quirky indie films never show that, it's always world weary guy meets someone and solves all their problems, never addresses the aftermath where all the issues behind why they were on their own come out