I haven't been able to sleep all weekend worrying about this.
That's some serious topside. Even worse than Fidel and Xylo imho.
Now I don't think I'm alone when I say it pains me to see my good internet friends at loggerheads like this, so what can we ALL do to help resolve this situation?
Perhaps if you both start by listing all the things you supposedly hate about each other? I suspect this process should help you realise how trivial your differences are. Hopefully.