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C'mon now I want to help!
I'm wondering when a person with anxiety issues should challenge themselves and when they should stick to the comfort of their routine? What's the answer here, am I condemned to a life on the lowest rung of the economic/social/romantic ladder? Risks are sometimes worth taking?
good question, one I think about a lot. I often think it is people holding themselves to their own expectations and wanting to be different that causes the distress, not the lack of economic/social/romantic success in itself. so there is something to be said for just accepting ones self. but easier said then done, it is pretty difficult to stop wanting the things you want, so eventually it is probably worth trying to take actual steps towards what you want. but again easier said than done especially if it exacerbates the anxiety in the short run.
For continuing to try and be positive in the face of these struggles and also for no longer considering myself a loser, just someone who has made some wrong choices and who suffers with an illness.
On the other hand I'm bloody lonely
yeah I think i'm fairly similar. i've kind of reached an understanding where I've realised the things that hold me back are pretty insurmountable without going putting myself through levels of discomfort that I am not willing to. so I have tried to jettison some notions of how I wanted my life to turn out, tell myself i've always basically been alone and its been ok so why worry about the future, but then some stupid part of my brain starts to reassert itself and focus on some unobtainable future settling down etc, even though I know it ever came to it my anxiety would rip myself apart. stupid brain.
kind of got to the point where I am actually attached to my anxiety, it keeps me safe, brief spells I have had without it I have been a total clown that my normal self will later cringe over. its like I recognise for things to work out I would have to be a completely different person, but don't actually want to be a completely different person.
Glad you at least have a handle on it in the logical side of your brain.
I have an anxiety disorder and often wonder about the same thing.
I worry about pretty much everything (my own life, people around me and the outside world). I have to train myself not to have catastrophic thoughts (at least not to the point that it makes me ill). I really struggle with any kind of stress in my life. this manifests physically too: sleeping problems, constant fatigue, headaches, muscular pain, ibs, toothache, backache, weakened immune system, coldsores, breathing difficulties.
despite this, i sometimes just throw myself into really challenging situations and don't really seem happy to stay in my 'comfort' zone all that much. i'm not sure if this is down to me setting high standards for myself, fear of failure maybe. i get really anxious about what i'm doing with my life and compare myself to other people far too much. sometimes i wonder if i actually like feeling panicked because it's better than feeling bored. idk.
the worst thing about it is i feel like i'm constantly living for some deferred sense of relief that i will (obviously) never actually attain. i fixate on one 'problem' for sometimes months at a time (a piece of work, a health issue, financial problems) and then when it's resolved, often disappears (e.g. doing really well or not having any serious illnesses) i'll just find something else to replace it with and then fixate on that instead. it's good to look ahead to the future and hope for better things but sometimes i think it's important to accept the way things are now. i'm always going to have something to be terrified about if i look for it.
it comes and goes and i think i'm better at dealing with it than i used to be. i've learned to live 'in the moment' and approach 'problems' more dispassionately. i allow myself to enjoy life and no longer postpone the things i enjoy (seeing friends, thinking happy thoughts) till i've 'earned' them as rewards.
i'm going through an intensely stressful period just now (starting a new job in a new country where i don't speak the main languages, don't know anyone... feel so out of my depth). but i think (i hope) i'm going to be able to draw from previous experiences. not all those experiences are positive but they've all made it possible for me to be doing something like this now. i wish i was one of those people with natural resilience and self confidence. but i'm not so i need to test the water and pursue new things quite tentatively to figure out what works for me and what makes me happy.
you are such a very bright, thoughtful and original person. i hope you find the right balance for yourself. none of this is easy at all but when i think about it (for me) it's better than letting my anxiety determine what i can do with my life.
You're probably one of the last people I would assume had anxiety issues if you hadn't mentioned it. You come across as very confident and sure of your beliefs and with clear and defined goals for your future. Be very proud that you are achieving that much even in spite of the difficulties, it's very impressive!
What you've said about always having some dread on the horizon to fixate on is sadly very true to my experience...I know once (if) I get through this current situation I'm going to face at least two different problems that feel like they could crush me completely so I basically force myself to live from day to day. It's very sad really if I take a step back because I do have quite a bright brain and am passionate about a few things but something went wrong and I can't seem to really be myself anymore...nevermind though I'm coping well enough for now
racking my brains trying to think how to make an edit work
Exactly 18 months today that I ended a pretty happy 5 year relationship to start another one with a girl who (at the time) seemed far more suitable for all sorts of reasons.
Of course the latter relationship blew up in my face after 8 months and now I'm left with bitter regret and also the underlying feeling that I'm a total idiot.
Tonight I shall be drinking
it has been a long time since I have had a viscount biscuit, I wonder if they still exist
- still no central heating
- phone taking 7 days to get unlocked so I can use it here
- have to find time during work hours to post something
- don't know whether to have quinoa or pasta for dinner
got someone at EE to finally accept that my contract had been misrepresented. decided to make the weirdest dinner ever:
- avocado and cucumber salad with no dressing
- a tomato based soup with: quinoa, bulgar wheat, soya mince, bouillon and pine nuts.
gonna have to go to the shop and get some juice now
I've literally never heard of half of those foods
you kinda need to look for stuff like that to get all your nutrients.
I think my life is pretty much perfect
Do I need drugs? Cos I'm not good on them
To clarify, my life is monumentally fucked
don't do what douchie don't does
I still feel ill.
In a Morrisey way, not Nas.
why have i never seen birds asleep at night before
urgh!!!! I have no idea how bad this is
since its a newish phone I'll say the next time I see her "did you get my message I wasn't sure", etc etc