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Good greetings, reader; I trust your riddance has been pleasant.
I remember this, this greenest land of England, from the days of my youth. A good Christmas land, when the centre of any community was the local church, the good Christmas morals were never far from one's mind, and there was a near-constant risk of suffocating within the many bustling crowds of priests, bishops, and Texan baptist ministers. I remember several mornings on my way to school -- where we should sing hymns and pray to the Holy Trinity (Jesus Christ, Godfrey Christ, and the Wholesome Ghost) and then do a maths at the end of the day.
Fine days... and no-one was hurt, except for on the odd occasion where you trip over all the praying people, because of how many there were. It has always been this way and England has and always been a Christmas country, regardless of what extremist atheists, actual Christmasians, objective truth, or literally anyone else has to say about it.
I agree with the Fox man that things have changed in my fine feathered town of Birmingham; I was West Philadelphia born and raised here and I have seen it change from good Christmas land into a hive of Islambic fear.
I remember the day I realised it was such. On the bus I was, when I decided - there, next to me, is a fellow good Christmas man.
"You!" I axed him, "What is your view on the symbolism of the Eucharist?"
He didn't answer -- he must not have heard me properly or something; but I wanted to engage in conversation with the man. I did not - under any circumstances - want to isolate or ignore this human man; for he, tragically, seemed to suffer from the Tourette's Syndrome, given by how he was impulsively saying things like "Please, stop this", "Go away", and "I'll lamp your neck off if you don't leave".
I was not going to isolate this man. I was to offer my good Christmas friendship and charity to him; which is why, I followed him for several months until - one thing led to another - and I believe my charitable good nature helped him, as he seems to have dedicated himself to the work of Jesus. I think I heard that he had joined the Jehova's Witness Relocation Program or something of that ilk. But anyway, I think he probably was resistant to my question about the Eucharist because of Muslims or something.
The turning point, when I realised this was the case, and that Birmingham had really been taken over comperletely was when I went to Sports Direct to buy some new trainers. My old trainers had largely been savaged by ponies, and my erstwhile professional colleague, Marlon Rothschild, had undertaken a seven-month pursuit of vengeance after I ate one of his chips without asking. ONE OF THE NICE CHIPS AS WELL NOT A CRAPPY ONE.
I went to the shop and said I wanted some new trainers.
"Would you like to try them on?" asked the cashier lady.
"Yes," I said, remembered when I had bought some trainers on in excess of twenty-nine occasions from a wizened old roadside merchant and found them each time to be violently on fire.
After a pause of some minutes, she asked me to REMOVE ME SHOES.
I chortled, with moderate worry, "Oh there is no need. I am not a Muslim and it is not my custom to remove my shoes. I am a Christmas."
She said, "No, you really have to take your shoes off before you can try on these new ones."
So you can see that Sharia Law has completely taken over, which is really annoying because now I have to save up to buy loads of wedding rings and I'm not allowed to draw Muhammad Ali anymore
Sneaking it under the reader there.
LIKE A FOX
but every time I read Cameron's quote about this ("The guy's clearly a complete idiot") I have a little chuckle to myself. Imagine the shame of being called that by a major world leader.
The fucking typos on that, man.
thats the best
especially when a thread just descends into them, I just roll my eyes and move on. I don't find it "punny" at all. These ones are quite good though to be fair.
People should say they cannot accept any apology of his, or any donations, UNLESS he explains himself......explains how he formulated this incorrect idea, and this is publically announced......perhaps this might assist others who jump to false conclusions to act more wisely.
How can I best put this idea across? so that it might gain traction? I mean surely we are all a bit curious as to how this idea formed in his mind. (possibly the schools news story.......but how did this then escalate in his mind, to what he suggested?
he read about the "trojan horse" plot, or about areas with 99% Muslims, or those Sharia Patrol people, and basically made the whole thing up. Probably didn't think anyone would notice, thought we were a small country miles away. For Americans, other countries can seem like a different planet entirely, so he might have thought this was genuinely a likely scenario. I would like to hear his explanation though, he may have heard it through someone else.
he made passing comment to the fact that he'd "heard" it somewhere else but didn't do the "necessary research" to "verify" it
"As someone born and raised in Birmingham, I must admit there was a pressure to read the Kerrang."
than actual funny memes about this. #opinion
when I was at college there was a very harmonious multicultural mix, It was like a bubble of harmony, we were all the same age and all seemed to have similar values whilst we were together.......if only the rest of the world could have been like that.