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dynamite with a laser beam
Old and shit
"I would like to announce I am abdicating the throne...
Jeremy Kyle's lining up a Christmas special to work out who our real monarch should be using DNA testing...
pretty shit queen tbf
she's no Mary Portas
Charles is going to have to rip that crown out of her dying grip, and even then she won't give it up without a fight.
that it airs in all her various realms. So if she did abdicate during the speech, it would air first in Tuvalu due to time difference and shit.
After decades of eating the hearts of her enemies she will reveal she has achieved immortality and announce herself as Elizabeth II The Eternal Queen.
Better than Charles anyway. The only way Charles could become popular is if he hid away for a few years, sorted his wardrobe out, put a bit of weight or muscle on, went grey and grew a beard like Edward VII or George V