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I blocked my own toilet on Sunday.
Thanks for reading.
Also please detail the following, if you like:
• Where the loo was
• How you can to block it
• How you unblocked it
One flush: gone
Usually due to excess bog roll, trying to get my ringpiece spotlessly clean.
Probably 2008 or so?
It's *really* difficult to block a properly functioning toilet with just poo - it's the massive wads of toilet paper that do it. So if in doubt, flush early and flush often.
and it's doubly worse if you have really thick posh loo roll
I could teach you a lesson or two, spud
I reckon. You know when its piled up and poking out of the water like a little mountain?
Or a preemptive mid-poo flush to keep things moving. If that doesn't work, it's probably just a rubbish toilet.
I spent a day out and about with my mate on our bikes down the seafront, eating chips, going to the arcades messing around etc.
We swung past my mates house, and I was still a couple of miles from home. All that exercise and chips made me suddenly need a massive poo (one of those sudden sweaty moments where you panic), so I asked my friend where the toilet was and popped in and upstairs to the family bathroom.
I dropped the biggest shit of all time (South Park Bono-style) which displaced all the water in their bowl and just sat there like a giant plug. I was a chronic wiper as well, using rolls of the stuff to polish my ring and soon the bowl was full of paper and shit. Two failed flushes and the level had reached the Toilet Duck rim-holder, and suddenly I was panicking because their house was one of those weird ones (my inlaws are the same) where they didn't have a toilet brush.
Major panic set in and I decided it was time to improvise - looked at the collection of bath toys for my friends little sister and saw a long thin plastic shark... which I used to attack the blockage while flushing and waiting for the cistern to refill. Finally shifting the mess and making best the skiddies on the side - I tried my best to clean the shark with some handwash and hot water, before sticking it back in the bath (forgive me). Only when I went back downstairs did I realise I'd been gone for 20 minutes and I could hear the cistern re-filling, my friends family must have heard every one of the 20 or so flushes. My friends mum said 'oh did Jon (we have the same name) send you to the broken toilet? Was everything ok?', my friend stood behind her with the biggest grin on his face - fucking wanker!
Whatever goes wrong you have to handle it. Did you ever go to a big party, go into the bathroom, flush the toilet, the water starts coming up... This is the most frightening moment in the life of a human being. You'll do anything to stop this. You'll lose your mind, start talking to the toilet: "No, please, don't do this to me!" "No, come on, you know this is not my responsibility!" "I didn't make this happen!" "I'll get you the blue thing, the man in the boat, just let me off the hook this one time!"
everytime i go there. a 8 hour flight always backs me right up and the first two or three aren't suited for the weak ass small NB toilets they have there.
because they clog their bog with faeces so very often.
every time i see your username i think of poo, you are the resident poo fiend. no offence. you just have some very colourful poo stories.
she smears some into her hair.
Pretty sure I didn't throw the ruler away after. Probably gave it a reasonable wash.
dipping it under the rim of the toilet and pissing the skidmarks off it?
yesterday though at work there was only one toilet free and i really needed a shit and only had a few minutes to spare, and that toilet was stuffed full of a ridiculous amount of toilet roll. had to just shit onto it all and then flush it and all the shitty water came up nearly to the brim. pretty grim stuff.
Hotel room in Washington DC.