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let's destroy those tartan clad, heroin addicted, tooth losing, irn bru drinking, robert burns enjoying, deep frying, caber tossing, devolution bastards
"Where's your library gone!?" etc
And the other team loses
and we are all reminded of the pointlessness of an international friendly.
I imagine most Scots would see 0-0 as a victory
Makes you proud not to be Scottish.
it would really be shit
with an eggy centre?
Real are fucked. Literally no one to replace him.
I've got a video of Niko Kovac apologising if you need one.
Or world cup winner, Sami Khedira
Isn't he out of favour since going to the Pamplona bull run dressed as Batman?
Surprising, really. I thought they didn't care about tonight. Such a shame it takes a meaningless friendly to get them riled up.
Makes you thankful you're not Scottish.
has someone already made that joke? God, I don't even care about this match, and I feel like I should. What time's kick-off?
Meanwhile, Concord Rangers' nick-name is The Beach Boys.
why are there three threads and why are they all awful?
I bet you're part scottish
The second one was made by Royter
This one has nothing overtly wrong with it, it's just the standard we've come to expect of international football breaks. Bet someone will start a riveting chat about corner flags in a minute.
when does a club just admit defeat?
a la Ledley 'No Knees' King
Wenger is never, ever leaving. Eventually he'll be so withered it'll look like there's a disembodied long-Umbro coat hovering on the touchline.
Everyone at West Ham very publically popped the champagne corks the day Kieron Dyer's contract came to an end in similar circumstances. Maybe Wenger has a crush?
The correct move would have been to just ignore him until everyone forgot he existed then quietly shuffle him out of the side exit. Everyone would only remember he existed when he showed up for some Turkish team in a Champions League qualifier two years later.
but Stewie D wants everyone to know he will be ready to unleash hell and some competent midfield play should the need arise sometime around the 80 minute mark tonight.
and tried to win some games but completely embarrassed themselves and came home crying? I remember that.
Scotland sat that tournament out for ethical reasons or something, I can't quite remember.
i don't, I was 6
Stick to the heroin bants, please.
and never managed to get past the group stage?
has really put that 1990 result into perspective.
you qualify for the European cup, just so it'll be more funny when Scotland don't qualify for that aswell
how about this interview with Fara Williams?
Highlights the differences between the two games just a bit.
I'm looking forward to seeing Gordon Strachan tonight. Love that guy, hope he gives it some classic 'we were shit' post-match bants.
Lovely stuff Gord.
Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Strachan: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there..."
"I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado."
way to steal his thunder dude
...with both teams raining in own goals as they tried to throw the match. A bit like this:
Although the video doesn't really look like the report.
I want to know who's left apart from Sean Bean.
A big chinny reckon to that.
I used to live near a pub that had an "as recommended by Harrison Ford" sign on the wall next to a Han Solo era picture of Harrison Ford, and like that pub I reckon Sheffield United have just chanced it because the odds are in their favour that he'll never check.
I'm going to say never
but the Wembley game last year was brilliant
Was great fun, really friendly atmosphere.
Bit worried it won't be the case tonight, reckon it might attract some right nasties from the east Glasgow end.
I doubt the ability of Celtic Park to host an international match will help either; think the last two times it's hosted big matches half the crowd were still stuck outside.
it's pretty amazing scheduling having Ireland and then England at Celtic Park in the space of a few days, actually couldn't be any more opposite in terms of opponents. But yeah, fear some wanks are going to show up for this one, Bridgeton/Duke Street especially
to make it an international derby hat-trick.
one for the shetland islands to get lary about
it's a good goal but it's not exactly amazing.
what's your point caller?
The Scottish fa's website is shit for mobiles, how much is a ticket for tonight? Didn't realise they were still on sale.
so I guess now you'd need to go to Celtic Park/see if anyone in town is selling them (maybe Celtic shop on Sauchiehall st?)
The Scottish fa were saying they were selling them. Might have been lying though.
was hoping a friendly match would be a bit cheaper. NAIVE
You in Glasgow?
I'm up in a couple weeks time. Not sure what I'm gonna do cuz one of my best mates just moved back to Scotland :(
(they shut that Celtic shop down a couple of months ago :( I used to press my nose against the glass every day when I went out for my lunch.)
everything is changing without me
That's the equivalent of 3 fish suppers, a deep fried battered pizza, a haggis supper, 6 pickled eggs, 4 cans of Irn Bru and a deep fried Mars bar for dessert.
'Mon the Scots.
but in the east end on the way to the game...
I go to the one on suck street, they give me large portions though for the price of small so I don't feel it's as much of a rip off.
Anyway, for decent fish supper on the way east, you want the Merchant Chippie on high street.
King's Cafe next to Variety Bar was yes
Think you could only buy them up until midnight last night though, the sale is closed now.
Read this http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/nov/18/modern-strikers-endangered-lukas-podolski-arsenal. Although not mentioned in the article, which suggests maybe his time as holder of the title may be limited, obviously the first name that came to mind when reading "Fox in the box" was Francis Jeffers.
Has any other footballer managed to make a generic term synonymous with them?
synonymous with Thomas Gravesen
But I suspect I'm plowing a fallow furrow here. Doesn't matter, this subthread will be swallowed up by some more great Eng v Scot bants.
Officially synonymous with Peter Crouch for the best part of a decade. Possibly not any more.
AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
Who says international breaks have to be dull?!?
pretty pricey, but need to see messi at least once in my life. actually quite excited
so scotland got knocked out of euro 96. Take that Hamish McDickhead
What a way to treat the greatest Scot since Mel Gibson!
King Kev was in awe.
Still remember seeing Colin Hendry nearly killing a San Marinese defender with an elbow to the throat. Cheating Italian Basturt.
Apparently that game saw England progress to Euro 2000 eliminating Scotland in the process. Wait, was THAT the real quiz?
Did Scotland think they were playing last goal wins?
It's not even midday and the bants have exhausted me.
How do the man city fans find the stamina?
then complain about your world class stri-oh
they represent GB in curling at the competitions that matter, so they don't even get full credit!
What do we think about that? I don't think I really have an opinion other than "if people want to watch these games on tv for free, they can already, so why not televise them on better terms?"
also, if smaller clubs can potentially benefit from an increased chance of getting some televised games, and more fans can see the games, then why not? I think the idea that it would harm attendances is laughable.
Also, having to miss the first 15 minutes of El Classico because of the broadcasting rules regarding football being on television is ridiculous.
Of course it'll have an impact. It already has an effect on attendances of Championship and lower games when Champions League games are on. You don't get half empty stadiums, but taking everyone's club Sheffield Wednesday for example, they've got 16-18,000 fans on CL Tuesdays, but 20,000+ on none-CL Tuesdays and Saturday 3pms. That's looking at games against southern teams that won't bring big support.
I'm a season ticket holder, and have been for years, and would still go to our home games, as we won't be televised that often.
However, it would affect kids getting into football now, and it would be even more unlikely that they would go and support their local team like I did, as it will be far too easy to just watch the big games on TV on a Saturday at 3pm.
Therefore, I'm hoping for a 3-1.
get the ball under absolutely no pressure in Scotland's half. Instead of passing it he decided to run left with the ball towards the touchline. Fair enough. Only his touch was slightly heavy, meaning he had to increase his pace slightly to stay with the ball. This led to him taking progressively heavier touches until he basically sprinted the ball out of play.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, England have literally no chance of victory tonight.
but I can't even remember what match it was, it's proved ungoogleable so far.
a huge cult hero instead. A couple of away games I went to at the time, this was sung non-stop before, during and after the game:
Oh Christian Dailly,
You are the love of my life,
Oh Christian Dailly,
I’d let you shag my wife,
Oh Christian Dailly,
I want curly hair too.
Also, no subthread on Christian Dailly can be complete without this:
Without the song, obvs
Also strangely similar to some of my own on-pitch prowess IRL
He didn't quite make the grade in real life. Remember in the last minute of the Scottish Cup final for Dundee Utd against Rangers, with Utd 3-2 up (I think), Mark Kerr inexplicably turning around to face his keeper, passing the ball straight back to Kris Boyd to knock in the equaliser for Rangers :(
Christian Dailly has agreed to discuss terms with Manchester United, Aston Villa and Liverpool. He has rejected the offer from Arsenal.
He has rejected the offer from Arsenal.
to get in the spirit
You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
go devolve that chat to another thread you awful jocks
The coagulating one wasn't who I expected at all.
He's still a Man United player.
"last had a good season in 2007-08".
WE ARE COMING
WE ARE COMING DOWN THE ROAD
We really should have covered the correct tenses for chants too in that conference call.
They usually get the words right too...
there's a big difference between "We'll be" and "We are."
see ys after man I'm away
Have FIFA finally been done?
"everything is fine!...which is why I have come to the police station!"
I don't understand, marckee
Actually feeling mildly hyped for an England friendly!
Please could I speak to a member of the Football Tournament Hosting corruption squad? Oh, they're based over the road in the Football Tournament Hosting corruption squad annex? Of course, I'll go there immediately".
and it had 5 seconds of non-licenced Hammez volley footage on it.
"Fifa lodges criminal complaint over World Cup hosting" to who? FIFA?
*watches whirlwind going past window and takes odd look at drink*
"FIFA President Sepp Blatter said the criminal complaint did not mean that the bidding process would now have to looked at again.
"There is no change to judge Eckert's statement that the investigation into the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cups is concluded," he told FIFA's website."
to Prisoner Cell Block H if it did.
Let's have some details please
Courtois did a John Terry with De Bruyne's girlfriend a couple of years back after cooking her a meal.
I was hoping for something a bit more outre.
"some jakey oor wullie MUGS are about to feel the digit of truth in their hairy ginger arses" right?
was dodgy as fuck?
I mean, if any country was in need of a few extra bob....
What has this thread done?
And about to watch the football.
Been cutting about London all day, couple
Of good meetings! I think we'll probably win about 5-3 tonight!
Just like the old days. Can't remember how shit he was as a pundit, so looking forward to this.
and a wanker sign, live on TV. This is awesome.
which I'm sure we all remember from the...
Milner + Henderson is quite depressing/rubbish.
Clearly had no idea where the ball had gone
Well played, Clive.
Dunno why I find it so funny. Probably because if those fans were English they'd be sat as close as possible the brass band.
England not letting them out. Still, a couple of decent moves so far, could sneak a goal in the second half - just need the midfield to try to take control and involve Martin a bit more.
I've literally never seen him before.
Nine times out of ten it's either headed away by the centre-half or sails over everyones head.
but related to your point, I HATE Andy banging on the whole time about just launching the ball in "an" area and hoping for the best. "Yeah, you wanna do the perfect ball but sometimes you've just gotta put it in an area.". What? Surely Andy, you want to play the perfect ball.
Also hate the way he says about every challenge that replayed, "Yep, he's just caught him there. Those ones can hurt."
so it's nice to see a goal conceded from the resulting free kick.
youve got no fans
youve got no ground
can't compute how shit that is
Also don't understand how Milner is not preferred to Henderson. He's so much better.
He just has good close control, that's literally it.
as everyone clearly prefers international football rather than the week in week out club dross. We have an international(ish) tournament every year, we'll invite the home nations only and call it something like the 5 nations, no qualifying or anything just proper football, proper haircuts and perma bans for diving.
(this has probably been suggested up thread, can't be bothered reading it all)
And wed pick who gets in the teams by lottery on your national insurance number..
England declined the invitation
Daniel Sturridge suffers new injury setback.
(i said GIF, not a fucking Vine, plebs).
Back in yer fucking hole, sweaties.
"English till you die, you're English till you die", cos that would be fucking grim.
your boys took one hell of a beating
he still kind of is, but fuck's sake, why did it have to be Man U?
throw another one on the pile.
Well played England, like.
Barely out of second gear at times. Seemed surprisingly quiet tonight, too.
but as you said, it was only a friendly, eh?
We played like a bunch of scaredycunts. hehehhee.
we discussed this.
fair, we could add a #SSP tag if needed