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at bribery. Is it any surprise that more experienced bribers like the Russias and Qatars of this world make it look so effortless?
With a warm smile, an endearing manner, a well thought out World Cup bid and a brown envelope the size of a pillowcase.
come on, guys
used in connection with the bid. I mean, duh!
the FA is pretty terrible at everything.
There's gonna be a whole load of FIFA bods taking early retirement to polish their yachts and yet the English FA still thought they'd win the damn thing with a cough-cough-nudge-nudge-handbag-for-the-wife-sir bit of bribery straight out of the 1930s or something: http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2009/nov/04/england-2018-world-cup-bid-fa
Properly offered them an M&S hamper each and some American tan tights too.
Investment in schools, kids working on small scale bribery from a young age etc.
Other nations are well ahead of us now, time to start building for the future.
Think I read something about a FoI request made by Private Eye about that Gala dinner in the Caribbean. The cost of the dinner came to about 20k but there was an item on the bill for about 15k which nobody could legitimately account for :-/ We can't even bribe officials properly these days
Just left it resting on the table at the end of the night
Also I'd forgotten the other options for 2022 were:
Japan: You guys had it in 2002 ffs
S Korea: As above
USA: You guys had it in 1994
Australia: fuck off
OK it would have been shit in terms of time zone stuff but would have been great otherwise.
They should just host World Cups in Mexico all the time, those are the best ones.
FIFA would never pick a hot country for something like this.
Reckon the Marco Fabian one is my favourite
I'm not your mother
The stage, the villainous opposition, the casual nature, and of course his adorable little face
to say that I prefer Tim Cahill's?
Kasami's is better than Cahill's, if that's your thing. Hammes' is pure magic though.
is easier than just waiting for a long ball to drop and smashing it on the volley first time.
How is that easier?
to strike cleanly if the chest trap is a good 'un.
If you tossed crosses into a striker on the training pitch all day and asked him to hit half of them on the volley and to take the other half on the chest and then volley, you don't reckon he'd score more of the latter category?
There's probably an exciting equation where x is the difficulty of the volley, y is the difficulty of the chest control, and then z is the overall difficulty once the reduced difficulty of x has been calculated according to the relative success of y. Pretty sure it would prove me right.
[I am VERY bored today]
[NB: ohgood, when you work this out, be sure to factor in the probability of successfully completing both elements, cheers]
with a football and try it all afternoon.
I've literally done no work today.
when me and two friends spent literally 3 hours trying to recreate the David Platt against Holland Goal from Italia 90. We didn't manage it once.
- "GascoIGNE...PLA...argh fuck...you get it this time..."
Now *that* is an underrated goal.
Imagine that, but trying to recreate Shearer's header against Germany in 96. Always lower your ambitions.
Michael Owen's 1998 goal v. Argentina during half-time. Prick.
Individual difficulty ratings:
Volley on run: 85
Chest trap on run: 70
Volley after chest trap: 75
TOTAL DIFFICULTY RATINGS
Scenario A = 85
Scenario B = 70 + 75 = 145
SCENARIO A: 86
SCENARIO B: 146
under greater pressure from defenders. Reckon that takes more skill and less luck.
which you then have to generate again with the volley. It's a much more difficult skill to get right than hitting it first time.
I'm afraid Royter's 100% correct on this one.
Aesthetics and a very low luck-to-planned ratio (under the assumption that even completely planned shots have a degree of luck) for me
but it does elevate a goal for me. There's something about a perfectly executed difficult technique (agree about the luck-to-planned ratio) with the pressure of the world watching which is just magical.
Not sure anything will ever top this for me for precisely those reasons
Not only for the indie points but for the reaction of the coach on the sidelines
more nerves, expectation etc.
Kasami and Cahill as runner ups
you can't have goals scored in games that don't warrant a camera angle as low as a few of those.
For me, it's Van Persie over Hammez, just. Out of all the goals that is easily the most difficult to pull off. Tekkers. And it looks beautiful.
Fulham have no place on this list.
The ball travels an impossible trajectory.
Would love to sit in on the meetings where they decide bribery allegations are so serious they need to 'investigate themselves'. Do you think it's all straight-faced bad faith double-think or do they just crack open the champagne and piss themselves laughing the whole time.
from having stopped bribing FIFA officials before the inquiry had concluded. Schoolboy.
Little pop at the FA for cosying up to Warner is magical though, great stuff.
Seems like England's token attempt to `play the system` was so hilariously smalltime FIFA were just embarrassed by it. Basically the World Cup bribery equivalent of Go Big Or Go Home.
Either way it's fucking hilarious how much of a shafting England have received for having the best bid. That'll learn us!
FIFA is basically saying, "Not only were your attempts at bribery so pitiful that they got you a measly 2 votes out of 22, they were so embarrassing that we're going to call you out on them publicly!"
Wesley Sneijder scored a screamer though:
Shakhtar captain Darijo Srna has bought 20 tonnes of tangerines to give to kids in Donetsk. http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/nov/12/shakhtar-donetsk-darijo-srna-tangerines-children
“I grew up in Croatia so I also went through a period when I needed help. Donetsk has helped me a lot and this is just a small gift with which I want to pay them back.”
What a nice chap.
by an eejit, not actually his fault. (I wuv woy)
I'm sure the kids would have preferred Nintendo Wiis or chocolate.
As if living in a war zone wasn't shit enough, now most of them don't even get a tangerine. Nice one.
that's been fun.
Nah sorry, even taking into account the veneer of professional interest that I have to maintain in order to do my job, I can't even pretend I give a fuck about Scottish football any more, let's get these internationals out the road and get back to proper business please.
Also, I fucking love FIFA. Hands Whackhim.
Richards Yanga-Mbiwa Rekik Bertrand
________Guidetti Negredo Origi
Easy mid-table in the Premier League?
Torres still the glaring weakness.
2 years ago he was pushing for a place in the England squad, now he's being kept out of a fictional 11 by Micah Richards and Yanga-Mbiwa.
"World Cup soccer players with higher facial-width-to-height ratios are more likely to commit fouls, score goals and make assists, according to a study by a researcher at the University of Colorado Boulder."
Paul Daniels too.
that top-level cricket and tennis players were more likely to have eyes that we're closer together than the average, and level with each other.
I think the reasoning was that eyes like this made it much easier to track the flight of a moving ball as it came towards you.
Look at photos of top level cricketers and tennis players and the correlation seems to be there.
or the Ashes.
Apparently elite distance runners can be identified just by ankle thickness or something. This sort of research does rather take some of the mystique out of sport.
Give me cold, hard facts any day. Preferably in graph or pie-chart form.
dispensing the FIFA report.
There's now an internal appeal against an internal summary of an internal investigation
to look into that.
Today's decision by the Chairman of the Adjudicatory Chamber contains numerous materially incomplete and erroneous representations of the facts and conclusions detailed in the Investigatory Chamber's report...I intend to appeal this decision to the FIFA Appeal Committee."
How does it come to be that the guy writing the report appealing against the summary publication? Even ignoring the likely British media sensationalism on this, that's really not right...
I'm sure the full publication of Garcia's uncensored report would resolve this, right, FIFA?
He's wondering why exactly the gravy train isn't stopping at his station. I'm sure his concerns will be...addressed *makes money sign*.
"So long, and thanks for all the handbags"
there must be a chance of Garcia being offed
before you're allowed to be involved in the bidding process, like how you've got to kill a guy to get made in the mafia.
"Can you prove you've got what it takes to be part of the bid team?"
"I think so. See that loft conversion I showed you I got? Let's just say the neighbour's objections were, how can I put this - overlooked."
I thought you were joking.
Releasing this today is one way to liven up an international break.
but y'all love a pub sub-thread, so any recommendations for watching Scotland vs Ireland tomorrow which is fairly central/specifically around Euston? My mate's getting a train after the game is all!
is pretty good
I, for one, approve.
but him going to Wigan was a brilliant move for Brentford, pretty certain we'd be in League One now with him in charge rather than 6th in the Championship with Warburton. shame he was a bit of a dick when trying to rob Forshaw off us too.
hope he gets an ok job though.
Friendly v Scotland - Tuesday 8pm
Which I'm sure would bring untold success in the short term but eventually the goals would start floating in ever more on a flood of tears from North East London eventually drowning the city completely.
Thanks for making a new Atlantis, Jose. Thanks.
Imagine Bale and Modric in the current Spurs team :')
Would balance out the Welbeck bants a bit.
Racist commentary of England beating Scotland 9-3 in 1961:
Goalkeeper allegedy scores with a scorpion kick (snowstorm footage):
"Best save ever" hmm.
not the best ever collection.
but it's pretty fucking good.
Look at all the dodgy shit that's actually referred to in the report - and they still just came out and presented it as an "all clear, no corruption to see here": http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/nov/13/fifa-ethics-report-summary-warped-sense-integrity
- countries pulling out of FIFA tournaments.
- UEFA going postal.
- we all stop watching football.
None of that's going to happen.
Time for the FIFI wild cup to step up I think
Good luck to anyone who think they're in with a chance of beating northern cyprus though
is that whilst it doesn't adversely effect day-to-day football (you could argue that it currently does, but not really) it's difficult to attack, because there's always the threat of a governing body split, and that's always shit for any sport.
Almost anywhere else in the world that might have bid and won by nefarious means, no-one would pay that much attention, but they've picked one of the few places that is physically incapable of hosting the tournament when it's scheduled to be hosted (i.e. failed the most basic criteria possible for hosts). So we'll have to wait 8 years for it, but the day-to-day football will eventually be affected.
a) Do a decent job and regain some of his lost reputation in a league that only the neediest football fan would argue is not the best in the world?
b) Plunge deeper into a pit of unrelenting despair, as his career well and truly implodes on him, age another 10 years or so, and get burnt at the stake for having the audacity to defend against BarcaMadrid?
c) Other (please state)
but wouldn't be surprised if it were b).
his pricetag, PSG's spending restrictions and his burned bridges in Spain probably means they'd be no out, though.
where are you hearing these rumours?
That told him that all leave had been cancelled in the Old Trafford megastore because of all the shirts that United would sell when CR7 re-signed for 'em last summer.