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had to do for work?
And get £20 worth of (unspecified) fruit and veg to go in the suitcase.
My boss's family were visiting.
Same job: some days I had to go to the co-op and get some food for my boss's son. I'd to leave it on a plate on the chair outside his room (she had a home office), knock twice and say "[redacted], there's some food out here for you." then go away.
Periodically I had to go back upstairs to check if the food was gone and take the empty plate back downstairs.
It was a bit Jurassic Park.
Never once saw the lad.
He wants to hunt.
whilst he watched
and within about 10 seconds of handing flyers out some twat had jumped me from behind and started air bumming me screaming "TAKE IT DAFFY YOU SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAG" and continued for about 4 minutes until there was a crowd of people around us pointing and mocking while I was helplessly flailing around with my wings.
should have done him for that. Air-bumming a helpless 16 year old, calling them a "slag", making them "take it", 4 minutes of this? Inviting a crowd to laugh and mock. Could have done a spell inside.
Different world mate. I just had to laugh it off and chalk it up to shabs and/or bants
It was attending photocopier conference at the IMAX where Pierluigi Collina gave a speech.
I had to find out which 7 were Jewish.
I offered the rest wine and made a note of which ones asked for the kosher wine specifically.
combining both auditing and blatant nazism.
****CAUTION above text contains SATIRE***
and then teach a roomful of 14 year olds how to make origami swans, before 'selling' them paper and then 'buying' back the best swans.
money for nothing.
as she was really looking forward to the concert. Have some fucking respect.
- Once had to deliver £5k in cash (in a duffel bag) to my boss's parents
- Once had to collect Heineken 1st edition bottles for my boss from a guy who turned out to be Yoko and John's PA from the 70s. He took a call from Yoko whilst I sat there, kept calling her 'Mama', told me stories about John Lennon getting inspired at 2am and making him run across town to wake up a producer and arrange a studio so he could record a song. And then to end it all off he asked me to interview a girl who was there for a job as his PA. He sat back and drank tea whilst I asked this girl questions. It was the most insane afternoon.
as well as going on a tour of the UK doing it.
don't know what and fruit would mean.
I just thought the going on tour aspect of this one pushed it over the edge to being the weirdest.
a delegation from Egypt were visiting the city and wanted to see a room in our building named after an activist who had been murdered during the revolution but the room was being used to store huge amounts of beer so we had to come up with excuses about why they couldn't go in there.
Won't that be fun?
which was essentially a variant on the "safe or unsafe?" scene from the Office.
but it was in a work situation. I was once asked if I minded "carrying the ammunition for the lady" (it was a works jolly and we were clay pigeon shooting)
it doesn't need to be part of your job description etc, so your reply is valid. Thank you.
cf threads passim.
vacuum up live rates?
underneath grain silos.
They didn't, so I had to organise the table getting shipped up to Manchester so that they could sign it there. They did.
had to fly to Jordan to deliver a tender document as it was cheaper than a courier - my boss had left it to the last minute to finish the bid. Essentially got a free weeks holiday in Amman which was great, even squeezed a trip down to Petra in to boot. All I had to do was turn up at the municipal offices and hand over a document and get a signed receipt (we didn't win the work in the end)
And help take a photo of the entire organisation down below.
Was pretty fun.
so you could get to the ground in time to be in the photo?
to get into the photo. Someone external pressed the shutter.
Almost exactly the same for me but in Qatar - stayed in 5 star luxury with amazing food for three days. My checkout bill was £4K <3
to wash dishes in a field
been sent to edmonton to give a pirate radio dj a grand in cash
strapping myself into a orange plastic faux-helicopter and let a group of diver repeatedly try to drown me.
in texas i also was allowed to rock up to the parking lot at 5am and drink beer and cook chili all day. i ended up so pished that when they announced the prizes i walked up with the people who came second and congratulated them all and later called the CFO a cunt from the car we were driving as it passed him on the way to the bar.
from biting the ear of a huge, disinterested St Bernard dog before the blood sprayed all over the newly-painted woodwork of a house that was being done up.
the annual sandcastle-making challenge on South Shields beach.
(Every year there was a sandcastle making competition where architectural practices in Newcastle would send their year-out students along to be paired up with teams of kids from local schools.)
I got horrifically sunburnt that day too.
whilst working at the link i had to do two things.
- we replaced all the ceiling tiles in the shop but not the wee plastic strips that held them in. over one week i systematically took a step ladder, some soap and a sponge, wore my lab goggles and cleaned each strip on by one.
- they were doing some work on the sewers under central station and our shop was an old access point, so to avoid disruption they did it over night and i worked from 5.30pm at close to 8.30am at open just being there to make sure they didn't steal any phones. i just played rollercoaster tycoon all evening and eat two burger kings, a chippie and a greggs breakfast on the companies dollar. one of the builders on the second night asked me if i was gay because of my hair.
the police apprehended the suspects and seized counterfeit cd-making equipment and computers while I sheepishly looked on trying to stay out of the way.
Or driving a bus (I was 15) at full pelt down the runway of an airport.
Initially, I didn't realise that the sample in question was the fluid from a cancer patient's abdomen, that was collecting in a little bag next to their bed. I had to use the little tap to decant the fluid into my bottle while making small talk and avoiding the elephant in the room - that they were almost certainly going to die pretty soon. And I spilled some on the floor which was embarrassing.