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And girls....can guys be gender non-specific?
how are you?
Found a place to live for the next few months (until January) after being a homeless wretch for the past year.
Moving after this weekend so yeah it will hopefully be cool.
But I've never been homeless so it seems cruel to complain, though this week I thought about killing myself a couple of times unfortunately.
Glad you have somewhere to stay though, what's the plan after that?
your someone I actually relate to on here - would be horrible
I was lighting our open fire all last year and bought a ton of wood, only found out the other day they're illegal! I'm using some of the wood as decor in the fire place but there's still a garage full.
:( I wanna light the fire
Wow, I know so little, I'm afraid of being a proper adult.
and only applys to London
having a few beers and that. Might take my shirt off.
I'm going to have a couple of drinks, even though I'm trying to be thin to bolster my self-esteem.
I'm sure there's a tumblr post out there that explains why that makes me a mosnterous phallocrat
I'm watching this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Style on Netflix. I've wanted to see it for years and only spotted this evening it was on there. Really enjoying it so far.
I'm always really impressed by "proper mixing" as my bro is pretty hot at it and every time I've attempted it's seemed impossible.
although it certainly blurs the lines, as probably half the film is amazing performance sections, and lots of rappers/artists/bboys play basically themselves. really good film, anyway!
there is a (similarly named) doc from the same era though http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Style_Wars
hey man have you seen what the new david simon series is gonna be about
i saw it and i thought 'i know someone that *might* be into this'
i was watching the great beauty earlier
but then my housemate came back with several bottles of congratulatory wine after passing some thing for her degree
so we got wasted and watched supervet
this started like 5 hours ago so i'll probably get a hangover soon whoooo
but want a quick quiet pint before hand which doesn't exist here on Friday night.
I am monumentally hungover and a little bit high right now, but apart from that am pretty deece
feel like my life is going in a faintly positive direction at the mo
how's tricks with you??
I going through bad anxiety attacks everyday that have almost destroyed my will to carry on living but I've go tenth right in me for one more round of this shit I think, providing it doesn't last more than a couple of months.
What's positive for you? It would be good to hear something cheery
things are only positive for me because I'm trying to be positive. Had some shit stuff going on but I know that everything that seems like the end point is just a chance to start something new.. I know that I find it very difficult to make myself happy, what is important to me is the people I care about and everything I can do to make them feel good.
I've been through times where I thought there was nothing left for me. There always is. There are always paths that lead you to a better place.
In terms of anxiety, I'm not a sufferer (self medicator) but I've been told by somebody very close to me that the best way to deal with it is not to fight it, just accept that this is something happening within your consciousness and try to not let it come to the forefront.
in any case, if you ever need someone to talk to give me a shout. I will PM you my mobile number, always available.
I will probably drop you a pm sometime, thanks for the good advice :)
You are fucking amazing. Make more music.
i'll sell you my set of early (2008) bamnan cd-rs - the only in existence, afaik
but the would prefer the money went to bammers and would prefer it all digital
you think i'm gonna digitise these? no way man - the value's in the exclusivity
£1000 for all three of them. kickstart it if you have to, i don't care. the money's mine
The one with a disproportionately high number of plays is nowhere near the best
It's super helpful actually to hear nice words about my music as my self-esteem is low and I'm looking to that as a way to improve maybe.
well, the moathouse, technically.
showed my nephew some Three Beat Slide. now I'm eating some leftover veggie curry thing.
I'm listening to 'Heartworm' by Whipping Boy for the first time. it's pretty good. very 90s date-stamped by its sound, quite a bit like Mansun so far.
just thought I'd say.
my heartworm is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd46dYAr6ZQ
how are you? I hope you are good
I don't know why I've never heard this album, hmm. thanks, tho.
I'm not terrible... I'm managing to stave off self-loathing and loss of belief/interest to get good at singing and playing guitar again. and I don't feel quite as awful a disparity between my inner self and the self I'm able to communicate to others. gradually feeling a bit more comfortable being me.
still stuck in menial work rut, though. I'd love a comfy office job like people on here have, even though I'd hate having to wear a suit. as long as I had to income to be a proper person with a proper life.
how are you?
I played Twinkle once when I was DJing, and the sound guy got hugely excited. He'd never heard the song before, but he said it was the best production he'd ever heard.
it's good, I like it. definitely a cult classic.
Moved in to the house we're renting this year at uni a couple days back, feel all proper and real human actuall being responsible for a house.
Also had a day listening to all the electronic stuff I should have been listening to the last year instead of all the indie-pop I did listen to, there's been some cool stuff put out.
I can't get US Netflix to work on Hola tonight, so I'm watching Jools Holland. Spent this evening drinking wine and writing a blog about my favourite Swedish pop songs for my choir's blog.
I've just spent two days on a 'new managers' course which was great except it made me realise how much I've been fucking up at managing for the past six months. I don't really need to worry about this til Monday though.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
That could stop me connecting to the internet when I'm fucccked.
I need a new phone. That is all
is available to watch on the Adult Swim site. This has improved my day exponentially
just won a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine, some nivea shower creme and a can of lynx on a raffle
only bought two tickets
my mam took the wine off me straight away. giving my boyfriend the chocolates. my dad the shower creme (to take to work) and my brother doesn't want the lynx. might take it to work and leave it in the staff room and hope someone nicks it.
I've got a cold, so the mere concept of food bears this massive transcendent beauty. I just hope my nose ain't so blocked that I end up kicking off and Punch Drunk Loving the bathroom.
Been relaxing like heck today. Started playing Outlast (it's OK so far, hoping it picks up steam, though) cause it was on sale; listened to Aphex again; finished Bleeding Edge and moved onto Colorless Tsukuru and about to watch more Rick and Morty. Yay
got pissed by myself and then tonight got cancelled :'''''(
really want to go dance party somewhere
so let's do this for a bit instead https://plug.dj/drowned-in-sound
had an interview on Thurs, read some outlines for my scriptwriting workshop at the barbican, went to see Finding Vivian Maier at the Prince Charles, went to see an exhibition at the ICA, then got drunk with a friend at the Porterhouse
yesterday I went to see Lust for youth and had a chat with Loke Rahbaek, who seemed nice
today was the workshop, they liked my short script, said I should turn it into a feature
Send round some good vibes
CHARLIE SLOTH IN THE MIX
Legit bad feelings taking over
It WILL get better.
But why is it worth?
I'd be lying if I said I reckon there's some golden thing to reach for
All I know is chashing in is so final and so hurtful that the alternative is always better. You just have to keep going. I know you're hurting with anxiety right now but it absolutely must get better. You're a talented man and have a lot to live for.
It has helped me to think of them as being similar to craving cigarettes while you are quitting -- and you've quit that!
Fight them off by using counter thoughts: feelings are not facts, they are passing through, and whatever other counter arguments work for you. If you can't go out for a walk in the middle of the night, try cooking or some other diy project to focus your mind on something besides your feelings.
Visualize the pain / thoughts leaving your body (as negative electrical current or energy). Call a hotline -- I haven't done this but from other people I've heard they can be really good. If really far gone, call family -- I have done this (although I've rarely talked to them about personal feelings ever) and it saved my life.
I have these fairly often. I should write them as comic book scripts (adapted to make better sense). Hmm, I know a really good comic book artist too.