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the benefit trap

Silkyskillz11 [Edit] [Delete] 79 replies 14:07, 22 September '14

is a phrase you hear from time to time. turns out...there is some truth in it.

here is my personal example:

I am on the sick. I'm actually fine, but never want to do a traditional 9-5 again. considered getting a job after the world cup...but tyen it was the commonwealth games...and so on.

anyway...had an interview with tye social recently. the lady told me I could do Permitted Work for 52 weeks. basically, you can earn up to £101 quid a week and this won't affect your benefits. £101 quid is £6.50 an hr, for 16 hrs. So, obviously, if you're on 10 an hr...you just drop your hrs. with me so far.

this got me thinking. here are the maths:

Esa - £77 pw
hb - £100 pw
permitted work - £101 pw

so, that's about £1100, per month....all in. also don't pay council tax.

my idea - get a monkey job for 16 a week....stress free, no cunts etc
continue car booting - easy money
got an idea for steaks on the beach. let me know if you want more info on that..
continue doing voluntary stuff
book myself on loads of free courses - basket weaving etc
basically, jazz life.

what's your point, dude? why the fuck would I work full time, at say tenner an hour, punching out emails and getting stick for shit when I can do the above?

sorry if you, the taxpayer finds this offensive. I have always been a lazy, lazy cunt.

benefit trap.

thanks for reading

aint proofread this....never do

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  • steaks on the beach

    more info please.

    jontosh2001 | 22 Sep '14, 14:09 | X
    alcxxk, NickDS, Jeremys_Iron, halfagiraffe, badmanreturns, Raanraals, colinzealuk, ElthamsmateOwen, and monoshono this'd this
  • What you gonna do after them 52 weeks are up chief?

    GetOffMyLawn | 22 Sep '14, 14:11 | X
    • ive been volunterring at the foodbank for last couple months

      but want to get back into youth mentoring. I'll usevthis time to get back on that and maybe get a part time gig in a years time....on the payroll

      Silkyskillz11 @GetOffMyLawn | 22 Sep '14, 14:13 | X
      • Sounds like a decent plan!

        GetOffMyLawn @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:21 | X
  • See now I don't see this as a bad thing.

    There's a huge lie doing seems to be doing the rounds subconsciously that everyone needs to work. They don't. There's hundreds of made up bullshit jobs created to keep people occupied and keep them off the public purse.
    The lie you've got to work is infused with all sorts of ideas of responsibility and freedom and duty to your country, which is basically so much bunting to make the lie more appetising. And the amount of shaming going on in the media trickles seems down to thickos, it creates a pretty awful society that has as little empathy for those on the sick as possible.
    But if it's something you really want to do, why not go for it? Steaks on the beach it is.

    RFWare | 22 Sep '14, 14:14 | X
    Nest this'd this
    • That was all typed without looking, lot of random words made their way in :).

      RFWare @RFWare | 22 Sep '14, 14:15 | X
  • Can you confirm or deny that steaks on the beach is (an awful) pun?

    Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 14:15 | X
  • It's not really a trap if you're doing it on purpose

    colossalhorse | 22 Sep '14, 14:17 | X
    Epimer this'd this
    • you're getting hung up on semantics, bro!

      Silkyskillz11 @colossalhorse | 22 Sep '14, 14:24 | X
  • Permitted work rules only apply...

    if you are on ESA and not, for example, JSA.

    Why are you getting Employment Support Allowance if there is nothing wrong with you?

    Juninho10 | 22 Sep '14, 14:24 | X
    • not prepared to go into specifics

      plus...you're sounding like an officious dwp employee!

      Silkyskillz11 @Juninho10 | 22 Sep '14, 14:25 | X
  • maybe you're fine

    because your life is less stressful/challenging now, you might not be fine if you go back to doing what you were doing when you got sick. So take your time, and even if you decide you never want to go back to that because it might make you sick again, then that's ok by me and I completely understand.

    Elaina_Casoolare | 22 Sep '14, 14:25 | X
    j0hn, UnicornPorn, and RFWare this'd this
  • threads like this is why the tories decided to start The Cuts

    monoshono | 22 Sep '14, 14:30 | X
    • But that's (part of) the reason the Tories are immoral?

      RFWare @monoshono | 22 Sep '14, 14:31 | X
  • "why the fuck would I work full time, at say tenner an hour, punching out emails and getting stick for shit when I can do the above?"

    But are you happy doing the above? Over time are you going to be happy doing it, as opposed to being unhappy working? Laziness can come from unhappiness. Get the happy part right and then you won't mind getting out of bed to do something, like a job that you are actually interested in.

    Think long term instead instead of quick fixes.

    meths | 22 Sep '14, 14:30 | X
    • dude!

      my days are filled nicely. lot of tennis, cycling, adding value to people's lives.

      just don't believe 9-5 is the definitive answer to life. or something

      Silkyskillz11 @meths | 22 Sep '14, 14:33 | X
      • not saying it is.

        But lumping 9-5 in with all forms of work is a mistake. 9-5 doesn't mean you're in an office full of cunts, it's just the hours in the day when most people go to work. Just don't work in an office, there's loads of jobs that allow for that.

        If you're fulfilled on getting benefits and crappy jobs to keep you going, then fine, but I suspect you wouldn't be questioning it if you thought it was. Internal peace is the key; get that right and you'll have more energy and drive to do things that you want to do.

        meths @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:40 | X
        • you're not reading what I've written, mate

          After 52 weeks, ill get 2 jobs. 1 x proper at 20 hrs (probation or such like) 1 x monkey job...and buy and sell stuff.
          and then I'll move to valencia...but that's for another thread

          Silkyskillz11 @meths | 22 Sep '14, 14:44 | X
          • then it's not a trap.

            As you've already seen the way out of it.

            meths @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:48 | X
  • Is no one else going to say that

    'I am on the sick. I'm actually fine, but never want to do a traditional 9-5 again'

    Is not okay!?

    I'm sure your a nice guy but dude really! you think anyone wants to do this? The goal is to find a way not to do it without leeching. Of course you can cheat the system, its always gonna have loop holes and be falible the thing you spend your time on is thinking why you would want ? surely you have better options and bigger things to think about? :S

    *sincere reply here, not hating on you personally.

    definitionofself | 22 Sep '14, 14:30 | X
    • paid taxes all my life, bro

      these 52 weeks are a buffer to allow me to lead the life I want to lead. not gonna be dictated by society to have big house, 4 cars, holidays to corfu and stressful 9-5 shit. this aint me

      Silkyskillz11 @definitionofself | 22 Sep '14, 14:36 | X
      • okay your original post did not imply this is a buffer or transition period

        I'm okay with people that have paid into a system using it to change there life. I think as hinted below your perspective may be a bit 'fuck you' right now though. Lots of do normal things and don't live 9-5 and people that earn we'll don't always go for house and cars. If it an alternative life style you seek I would also suggest your geographical area is pretty important. THIS TIME IS PRECIOUS THOUGH DON'T WASTE IT ON THOUGHTS ON HOW YOU CAN CHEAT THE SYSTEM OF A FEW QUID, OR ON DIS! ;)

        definitionofself @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 15:10 | X
    • it's because

      it's been farily well documented on here that while he might be 'fine' now, for a good while he really wasn't and it seems that being away from the work he was doing has made him feel a lot better.
      I agree with meths though, it's not as black and white as silky thinks it is. There is another way- work in something he enjoys full time, or even half the time, and be able to not just get by, but be able to have a nest egg, or maybe one day a family. But that dosn't sound like those things are on his priority list right now, and I actually quite applaud his attitude.

      UnicornPorn @definitionofself | 22 Sep '14, 14:46 | X
      Elaina_Casoolare this'd this
      • I also, quite honestly, don't blame anyone these days

        for playing the game the way it's been designed. Hague might keep decrying "scroungers" as he calls them, but he's had four years now to change the game so that it *actually* pays to earn.

        colinzealuk @UnicornPorn | 22 Sep '14, 14:56 | X
        TheWza this'd this
  • steaks on the beach...

    ....hit popular, proper surfer beaches with two rucksacks. one has griddle, pan and stove. the other has minute steaks, pre sautéd onions and baguettes.

    cook up a storm...feed hungry surfers.

    outlay - bout 85p per steak baguette
    conservative selling price - £4 a pop

    have done a bit of market research....and this would defo work. not looking to become rich....just like the idea of the beach being my office for a couple days a week. plus....tye clientele are not cunts.

    this will happen. soon

    Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:31 | X
    • it's just a front for selling weed

      isn't it?

      jontosh2001 @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:33 | X
      colossalhorse and badmanreturns this'd this
      • *robbing banks

        Balonz @jontosh2001 | 22 Sep '14, 14:34 | X
        • *robbing clothes from the beach

          jontosh2001 @Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 14:52 | X
      • don't sell weed

        hardly smoke weed. update your spreadsheet, dog!

        Silkyskillz11 @jontosh2001 | 22 Sep '14, 14:37 | X
        • You talk about smoking weed

          all the time, though.

          Raanraals @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:41 | X
          • clarification

            been smoking du herb on n off since 15 (not a badge of honour)
            now pretty much weed free. always have weed at home..barely touch it. Just a treat now...rather than a necessity

            Silkyskillz11 @Raanraals | 22 Sep '14, 14:49 | X
            • Hmmm

              Skillz: I just talk about smoking weed.

              Me: Yeah, but the weed you talk about is potent. It's a lot more potent than the weed you smoked back in the day.

              Skillz: That's true. I do talk about smoking some pretty potent weed.

              Me: You don't just talk about it, maaaaan. You talk about it a lot.

              Skillz: Yeah, I suppose I do talk a LOT about smoking some VERY potent weed.

              Raanraals @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:59 | X
              • smoked solidly for about a year. weed was my girlfriend/mum

                regained control. tomato golf, social gatherings only now.

                Silkyskillz11 @Raanraals | 22 Sep '14, 16:02 | X
          • only when he's totally caned, maaaan

            UnicornPorn @Raanraals | 22 Sep '14, 14:50 | X
    • Not a great time of year to be starting this venture, fella.

      Also, can confirm most surfers are pretty annoying.

      RFWare @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:38 | X
      • dude!

        True surfers hit that shit 365. I aint talking newquay popular....there are maybe 10 proper surf beaches within 1 hr from my gaff.
        Some surfers are dicks....agreed.

        Silkyskillz11 @RFWare | 22 Sep '14, 14:41 | X
        • Oh yeah I don't mean you wouldn't have customers.

          I mean who wants to be on a beach trying to cook in the fucking freezing rain all winter?

          RFWare @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:43 | X
          • bro!

            It aint set hrs....if its a shitty day....I'll do something else. And as you know...beach in winter is equally awesome. Just layer up....innit

            Silkyskillz11 @RFWare | 22 Sep '14, 14:51 | X
            • http://adobeairstream.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/the_road_movie_to_open.jpg

              jontosh2001 @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:53 | X
    • How do you keep the steaks cool?

      Will you have a permit for sales?

      I like the idea, but I'm concerned for the details.

      hip_young_gunslinger @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:41 | X
      • course I won't have a permit

        Police come, I'll move on...have a swim...then go back. steaks in a bag all day are fine....no need to chill

        Silkyskillz11 @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '14, 14:47 | X
        • In a bag? On a hot, sunny beach?

          Sounds like a recipe for putrid meat to me.

          Raanraals @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 15:03 | X
          • it'll be fine, man

            didnt think you were one of those guys!

            Silkyskillz11 @Raanraals | 22 Sep '14, 16:03 | X
            • I'm a worrier, Silkz

              A natural, risk-averse problem identifier, being a lawyer.

              Raanraals @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 18:10 | X
    • They do this

      on the beaches at Rio. it's great. I think you'd do well in summer.

      UnicornPorn @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:42 | X
    • Will there be a vegetarian option ?

      roygbiv @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 15:45 | X
      • not considered this

        yes, yes there will be. need a second, meat-free griddle. cheers

        Silkyskillz11 @roygbiv | 22 Sep '14, 15:52 | X
  • Also you should get a baby.

    That's 80 smackers a month no questions asked.

    Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 14:39 | X
    • Ed Balls

      has just announced labour's plans to freeze child benefit. Errrmmmmm.

      UnicornPorn @Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 14:49 | X
      • Congratulations!

        Balonz @UnicornPorn | 22 Sep '14, 14:50 | X
        Royter-Hatfood and NickDS this'd this
  • Can you do some more videos please, silks?

    A guide to car booting would be excellent. Or a How To Live The Jazz Life one.

    umlaut_ampersand | 22 Sep '14, 14:40 | X
    • yep. this will be done

      next video - hill climb to tennis

      Silkyskillz11 @umlaut_ampersand | 22 Sep '14, 16:00 | X
  • I'd be interested to know

    how you intend to prepare steak baguettes on a beach without sand ingress ruining the dining experience of your customers. Thank you.

    crisps | 22 Sep '14, 14:43 | X
    • bit of salty sand adds to the experience of eating on the beach

      plus, have you ever met any surfers? Most of them are the stinkiest, skankiest stink bags you'll ever meet, they wouldn't even notice.

      Elaina_Casoolare @crisps | 22 Sep '14, 14:50 | X
      • in that case

        I see no possible reason why this business venture won't be a tremendous success. Good luck and all the best!

        crisps @Elaina_Casoolare | 22 Sep '14, 15:01 | X
  • been said before

    but that's not the benefits trap - not at all

    anyway, sounds pretty shifty to me, sounds like exactly the kind of case that THE GOVERNMENT would state as a reason to cut back on ESA and HB.

    so for that reason, i'm out

    bad skillz

    chris-budget | 22 Sep '14, 14:52 | X
    • haha

      Very narrow-minded, bud.

      Silkyskillz11 @chris-budget | 22 Sep '14, 14:54 | X
      • expand?

        chris-budget @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 14:56 | X
        • nah

          there aint no point, man!

          Silkyskillz11 @chris-budget | 22 Sep '14, 15:53 | X
          • fair enough

            good luck wit the beach steaks

            chris-budget @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 16:07 | X
  • No condiments?

    jacques_le_biscuit_ | 22 Sep '14, 14:53 | X
    • ^do not answer this

      Balonz @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 22 Sep '14, 14:54 | X
      • the condiment trap

        crisps @Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 15:02 | X
  • How many onions would you fry in preparation for a heavy day?

    Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 14:53 | X
    • 1/3 of a good sized red onion per baguette

      Silkyskillz11 @Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 15:34 | X
      • Red onion with steak?!

        Good heavens, man!

        Raanraals @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 15:47 | X
        jontosh2001 this'd this
        • huh?

          preferred choice of jazz dogs everywhere!

          Silkyskillz11 @Raanraals | 22 Sep '14, 15:54 | X
          monoshono this'd this
  • How would you carry the two rucksacks?

    One on each shoulder?
    One on the front and one on the back?
    One on the back and one carried with you free hands?

    jacques_le_biscuit_ | 22 Sep '14, 15:00 | X
  • Condiments to the front of me

    Pans to the back
    Here I am
    Steaks in the middle with you

    (please pretend someone else wrote this)

    Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 15:10 | X
    • nice to have you back Theo

      jacques_le_biscuit_ @Balonz | 22 Sep '14, 15:13 | X
  • Idea for a tv series called Benefit Trap:

    Make a literal benefits trap by covering a deep pit with banana leaves outside the job centre and leaving a tenner on top of it. Film the results. Add Come Dine With Me voiceover banter. Reel in the ratings after publicity generated by uproar from the papers.

    Lucien | 22 Sep '14, 15:36 | X
    definitionofself this'd this
    • i would watch the shit out of this

      chris-budget @Lucien | 22 Sep '14, 15:37 | X
      definitionofself this'd this
      • I would give it a try

        foppyish @chris-budget | 22 Sep '14, 16:03 | X
        Silkyskillz11 this'd this
  • Hope it goes well for you

    I'm trying to figure out how to live without working a soul destroying job. Everyone just keeps telling me about awful companies that have vacancies and how I need to pay my way.
    My boyfriend wants me to go back to my old job. I'm pretty sure that would kill me.

    Nest | 22 Sep '14, 16:31 | X
    • buy stuff, sell stuff

      my pal has two specialist subjects - gold and those Polaroid instant cameras.

      he hits jumbles, bootys etc..,, buys stuff for a couple quid....sells for massive profit.

      it helps that he has a table on the portobello rd.

      eg. he buys an instant camera for say a fiver. takes it home, decorates it with traditional 'english' things (big ben, london bus etc) and sells it to wealthy chinese kids for 50-90 quid a pop.

      there is easy money to be made...you just gotta have the balls (or female equivalent) to take a punt.

      Silkyskillz11 @Nest | 22 Sep '14, 17:00 | X
      • ovaries I guess

        zxcvbnm- @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 17:02 | X
        Silkyskillz11 this'd this
      • *just gotta have a massive bucket fanny to take a punt

        Lucien @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 17:36 | X
        • darwin dud, george buff, timandsue and whiterussian to thread

          Silkyskillz11 @Lucien | 22 Sep '14, 17:43 | X
          • timandsue

            :')

            Raanraals @Silkyskillz11 | 22 Sep '14, 18:11 | X
            UnicornPorn and labmonkeya529 this'd this
  • hmmmm, not really on, is it?

    the GAME (life/community/social structures), man, is made up of cooperators and defectors,man. You've just joined team defector.......booooooo!
    The man (government) is letting you get away with it, man......which is due to stupid, large scale, flawed system, and you've found a way to exploit it, man......both to blame, man

    labmonkeya529 | 22 Sep '14, 17:55 | X
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